Fate
by FI91
Summary: Reamy. With Karmy moments. What if fate exists and its sole purpose is to bring two lost souls together. What if fate is the main driving force in Amy's life. What if Amy meets someone and that person is more connected to her then she could ever realize or imagine. They say everything happens for a reason so maybe this girl walking into Amy's life isn't any different.
1. Chapter 1

**First FanFiction EVER. PLease review and comment. Chapters will progressively get longer!**

**I do not own Faking It or any of the characters featured on the show**

**CHAPTER 1**

It was the night after I met the raven haired beauty at my impromptu but much needed visit to Liam Bookers house and I still couldn't get her out of my head. She's been the first girl I've been attracted to since Karma but I'm not sure I want to pursue anything considering how everything with Karma ended. But I can't help to think about her. Her face swirling in my mind slowly erasing the images of me and Karma that I created over the course of our fake relationship. Scratch that, Karma's fake relationship and my... well I guess you can say my first love. I know if I don't do something now she will be lost to me and I will never be able to act on my thoughts and urges. I find myself lost though. I don't know her name or have her number, I know nothing about her or even how to begin my search for her. I know in my heart and with every fiber of my being that I have to find her. The spark I felt was real and nothing like what I've felt before. Even comparing it to the feelings that rushed through my body when my lips entwined with Karma's, it could not compare. The raven haired beauty became the successor in every comparison.

Trying to escape my thoughts I decide to go see the latest documentary released at the local movie theater. Going alone is nice. I can be alone with my thoughts and not have a running monologue from Karma that always ended up stealing my attention away from the movie. Entering the theater I know I will be alone knowing that not many people voluntarily see documentaries in their free time especially on a Friday night. I have the whole theater to myself, and it's peaceful. The lights begin to dim and I notice a figure emerging from the corner. She moves like a shadow in the night crawling closer and closer to my seat. She reaches my aisle and our eyes meet. A wave of emotion overtakes me as a smile forms on my face. She looks back at me with the same wide eyed expression. It was her, the raven haired beauty. She makes her way down the aisle and takes a seat brushing her arm against mine as she gets herself situated.

_"Hi Shrimp Girl"_


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

As the words drift off her lips I find myself replaying our last encounter and how it was possible that we found each other once again. Finally I manage to get the word "hi" out of my mouth. As the previews begin my attention begins to shift to the girl next to me. The smell of her perfume tickles my nose as I breathe it in. The smell is intoxicating and I savor every whiff that blows my way. It's seducing and it draws me closer. With my gaze set on her I can't look away fast enough as she turns towards me. Our eyes meet and I feel the same rush of emotions I felt earlier overtake me. She opens her mouth as I stare blankly at her and out pours a melody of words that takes my brain a minute to register.

_" So shrimp girl what brings you here alone on a Friday night?"_

I manage to get out a full sentence this time

_"I could ask you the same question and it's Amy by the way"_

She smirks and replies

_"Reagan"_

Her name echoes through my mind. I finally have a name to put to the face that has been occupying my thoughts. Her name was and is beautiful and somehow fits her perfectly. She opens her mouth once more,

_"So... Why are you here sitting by yourself on a Friday night?"_

I thought of how I could respond to this simple but complicated question. But my mouth was blurting out words before my brain could comprehend what was happening.

_" I couldn't stop thinking about you and how I could find you"_

She smirks that same smirk that was starting to become so familiar and the words _"me too"_ escape from her lips.

I can't contain the joy that the two little words bring me and I feel my cheeks act accordingly. She shifts her body making it so it no longer faces the movie screen and I follow in suit. We both sit in silence staring at one another for what feels like an eternity but in reality is only a few seconds. She opens her mouth taking charge of the situation somehow knowing I'm nervous and don't quite know what to say.

_"So Amy...tell me about that little show you put on the other night. It was like watching a soap opera"_

_"Oh that. That was just a joke. I love punking people."_

I tried coming off convincing hoping she wouldn't ask to many more questions about me and Liam. To my surprise it worked or she sensed I didn't want to talk about it because she quickly changed the subject.

Our conversation continues as she asks me questions about my childhood, family, interests and school. I respond accordingly and ask the questions back. We talk for hours not even realizing the movie ended until the usher came in to clean before the next showing. Walking out of the theater she grabs me and pulls me aside

_" I really enjoyed getting to know you and would love to do it again"_

She leans forward and kisses my cheek and hands me a piece of paper while pulling away. Leaving me wanting and craving more than a kiss on my cheek.

_"Call me sometime Shrimp Girl"_ trails off her lips as she walks away. I watch her as she moves further away from me. Thinking to myself that I can't let her take another step without me knowing if I could see her again. I quickly pull out my phone and call her. I can see her pull her phone out of her bag as it rang. Her voice echoes in my ear

_"Hello"_

_"Hi it's Amy. What are you doing right now?"_

She turns around to look at me phone still in hand as I begin walking towards her slowly. I meet her as she spoke.

_"Nothing"_

Hanging up the phone I take a deep breath and ask

_" Do you possibly want to go get something to eat with me?"_

She smirks the same smirk biting her lower lip this time opening her mouth to let the words _"I would love too"_ trickle out.

Excitement fills my body and you can read it all over my face. My nerves begin to grow again and I can feel my facial expressions change. The next thing I know she's reaching down grabbing my hand and pulling me to walk with her ," come on I know a great place around the corner"

I follow her my hand still resting in hers. It's like she knows. Knows that I'm nervous and that she needs to take charge of the situation I now created for us. We walk to the parking lot weaving through the aisles until we end our hunt at Reagan's truck.I stare at it confused before I snap out of my daze to the words _"hop in"_. Following the instructions I open the door and hop in. We're now sitting side-by-side again this time feeling more comfortable. She starts the truck and pulls out of the parking lot.

_"So where are we going "_

She looks at me and smiles.

_"You'll see"_


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

We weren't even in the car five minutes before we pulled into the parking lot. She parked and exited the truck. I watch her leave before I get out myself. She walks towards me as I stand there waiting for a hint of which direction I should walk in. Grabbing my hand once again she leads me away towards the restaurant. It's quiet inside nearly empty but it didn't seem to bother Reagan as she continued to pull me towards an open table. The server starts walking towards our table immediately with a look of excitement on her face.

_"Reagan! Today's not your usual day."_

_"Yeah. It's a special occasion today."_

The words left her mouth as her eyes glanced at me quickly only for them to shoot back to the server.

_"So do we need a few minutes to look at the menu then?"_

_"Yeah that would be great! But can you bring us a couple waters while we look?"_

_"Of course! I'll be right back with those."_

As the server walks away Reagan immediately moves her attention to me.

_"I know the menu seems overwhelming, if you want I can help you order. I've pretty much tried everything."_

_"That would be great."_

I quickly close the menu and look back up at her only to meet her eyes staring back at me. I smile before opening my mouth in an attempt to start conversation. Trying to put my thoughts together I finally managed to form a question.

_"So you must come here a lot if you've tried the whole menu"_

_"Usually once a month like clockwork me and my friends come here after bowling"_

Before I can respond the server returned with our drinks.

_"Are we ready to order?"_

Reagan looked toward the server and ordered. The server grabbed the menus and walked away. Reagan's eyes quickly moved their way back to mine. Staring back I felt at home. I feel comfortable like I've known her for years. I've only felt this way one other time and it was Karma.

_"Do you bowl?"_ She is continuing our conversation. Her voice pulled me back to reality and pulled me back to her.

_"Sometimes. I'm not that good though."_

"You should come with us sometime. Were not that great either."

_"That would be great!"_ I responded fast and enthusiastically. The thought of seeing Reagan again brought me joy and I was willing to jump at any opportunity to be able to spend time with her. Are conversation continued but my attention was not fully on the word trailing from her lips but on her piercing eyes and the way they lit up when she talked about something she felt passionate about. I could sit here and stare into her eyes for hours and I would be happily content. I was again brought back to reality when the server returned to the table with our food. I looked at it. Examining the plate as if to check if it was poisoned.

_"I know it looks different but I promise it's delicious!"_

I take my fork to the vegan meal in front of me and take a bite. As I begin chewing I feel a tightening in my throat. I begin coughing. Reagan staring at me at this point has a look of worry on her face. She quickly dropped her fork on the plate and rushed to my side. During Reagan's moment of worry I began rummaging through my bag. As she reached my side I took hold of my EpiPen and struck it into my thigh . My airway opened and I quickly grabbed my water drinking it as if I haven't drank anything in days. Reagan still standing by my side started rubbing my back asking if I was okay. I looked at her and shook my head rapidly. Once I calmed down she made her way to her seat.

_"Is there peanuts in here?" _

_"Yeah. They cook everything in peanut oil. Are you allergic?"_

_"Deathly" _

_"Oh my god! I had no idea! I am so sorry! I should have asked. I feel so bad! Do you want to go somewhere else?" _

I shook my head no and continued to drink my water. I know she likes this restaurant and I don't want to ruin it for her. She ignored my nod and called the server over.

_"Can we get a couple boxes?"_

_"Of course! Is everything okay?"_

Reagan chose her words carefully before replying.

_"Yeah we just changed our minds and decided we want to get a couple of burgers instead. But I'll be back next week!"_

The server walked away and my eyes met Reagan's once more.

_"You didn't have to do that you know."_

_"Yes I did and I wanted to."_

I looked at her more intently and gave her a smile before packing my bag. We walked out of the restaurant and looked around for another one quickly realizing nothing was in sight.

_"I know I said you would like this place and you probably don't trust my tastes anymore but I know this great burger place ten minutes down the road." _

I looked at her confused. It's not that I'm allergic to peanuts and it's not her fault the restaurant cooks their food in peanut oil and on top of that she didn't even know about my allergy. But for some reason she was taking the blame upon herself. I moved towards her closing the space between our bodies. Leaning in I kissed her check. I felt her smirk against my lips and I could feel her relax as I pulled away. As I drew back I whispered _"burgers sound great."_

Lacing our fingers we walked to her truck and began to drive away. Our hands remained laced in the truck and it brought me great comfort. Knowing that she wanted to hold me as much as I wanted to hold her, even if it was in the smallest way made me happy. It showed me she wanted to be here as much as I did. We sat like that in silence as we made our way to the next restaurant and I couldn't have imagined it another way.

We pulled into the parking lot and my eyes lit up when I realized where we were.

_"I love this place! I use to come here all the time when I was little but I haven't been here for years."_

"Are you serious?"

"_Yeah. Why?"_

" My family owns this restaurant. I practically spent my whole childhood here. We probably have even met each other when we were little. I was always so happy when someone my age came in. I would always steal them away for a little bit and color."

_"That would be really cool if we did meet. I wish I could remember. I would of loved to see you as a kid. I'm sure you were quite the rebel!"_

_" Surprisingly I wasn't. I was a goodie to shoes as a child and was crazy about the color pink! I had this pink dress with polka dots on it that I practically wore everyday."_

_"That seems like the complete opposite of who you are now."_

_"Well I guess you'll have to get to know me more to find out."_

_" I like the idea of getting to know you more."_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Yeah."_


	4. Chapter 4

**Amy's Thoughts Entering The Restaurant**

The restaurant was exactly as I remembered and it brought many memories from my childhood to mind. It was a simpler time then. A time when my family was still a family. A time when Bruce and Lauren weren't part of my life. It was also the only part of my life Karma wasn't a part of. That time would come only a few short weeks after our last time we came to this very restaurant.

I want to be able to remember Reagan but as hard as I try to remember and see if our paths have crossed I can't. My mind is only filled with memories of my dad and I. I try so hard to cling to those memories because they are some of the only ones I have of him. He was always so busy with work I hardly ever saw him but when we came here I was the center of his universe and everything around us just faded away. Even my mom sometimes wasn't even part of the little bubble we would create but you could tell she was okay with it because of how happy I was around him. If I knew then that he wasn't going to be in my life for much longer I would of stayed in the booth forever, never letting go.

The night he didn't show up to join me and my mom I knew something was wrong and I could see it on my moms face when she got a phone call that would forever change my life.

That day marked the turning point in my life. From that point forward something in me changed. My mom could see it but she was to consumed with her own loss that she didn't know how to bring me back. She didn't know what to do with me anymore and to be honest she was getting tired of seeing me. She couldn't even look me in the face anymore. Every time she would look at me all she saw was him. The only option she had to keep me away was to send me to school.

I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I had to walk myself because my mom was to distraught to even leave her room. Walking in the classroom I took a seat in the corner separating myself from the other kids. The next thing I knew a little girl with auburn hair sat beside me. That day changed everything. It separated my life into two distinct periods 'life before Karma' and 'life with Karma'. That day gave me hope. Hope that life can get better and hope that my heart can be fixed. From that point forward I knew I had someone in my life I could love as much as I loved him, someone I could lean on, someone I could tell everything to and someone I can build a life with. That day I gained a best friend and I couldn't have asked for her to enter my life at a better time.

I haven't had that kind of hope appear again in my life until today. Today as I sit across from Reagan I can feel myself getting back to the little girl I left behind so many years ago. It's almost as if I'm returning home.

**Reagan's Thoughts Entering The Restaurant **

When Amy said she use to come here all the time I knew. I knew exactly who she was. I want so desperately to tell Amy that I remember her but I know it might scare her away. I don't want to fill her mind with my memories of us. I want her to have her own, and I'm willing to wait. She's changed so much, I'm honestly surprised it's the same Amy. The Amy I remember had a twinkle in her eye and this wonderful view on life that couldn't even match the biggest optimist. Her eyes seem dimmer now. Like they've been exposed to all the darkness in the world. It's like she's lost and needs to find her way back. I would give anything to see that twinkle again.

I can remember her coming in with her mom and sitting for hours until a man would stroll in and join them. During that time I would join them at the table and play with the little girl who was clearly younger than me but I didn't care. Truth is not many kids came in and when they did their parents weren't always welcoming to having their meal interrupted by an eight year old wanting to play. Amy was one of the only kids who I could actually play with. Her mom was always distracted by something. Like she was in another world. So it was easy for me to be able to join them. When the man who I assume was her father showed up I would know it was my time to leave. I can remember the little blonde girls eyes light up at the sight of him and how I would disappear into the background as soon as he sat in the booth. They would come in every week like clockwork but that all changed one night when her mom rushed out of the restaurant with Amy in her arms. I watched them leave only for them to never come back. That was the last time I saw Amy and the night I lost one of my only friends. I never knew what happened that day and why they had to leave so fast but maybe now I can find out.

As she she sits across from me in the place where it all started I can't help but to think that I was meant to find her. I mean what are the odds that I run into a beautiful girl that I'm crazy attracted to, to only find out later that we were already apart of each other's lives. The only difference this time is, I'm not going to let her go. Even if today doesn't go anywhere I know I still want her in my life even if it is just as friends.

**(back to main story)**

The food was as delicious as I remembered. But to be honest the food is the low point of our time together. I could be eating dog food and still be the happiest girl in the world because of the girl sitting across from me. We continue to talk as hours drift by. I want nothing more than for this night to last forever but I know it has to come to an end. As we were getting ready to go Reagan asked one more question.

_"So why haven't you been here for years if you love the place so much?"_

My body freezes when I hear the question. I know the answer but the question is 'is she ready to hear it'. I look at her intently searching for the answer and all I see is worry. Her eyes look so soft like they're going to break down. Almost as if she's afraid to hear the answer and bracing herself for the worst.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes trying to contain the tears I feel forming. When I open them, I see Reagan looking back, but her expression has changed. Now she looks sad and regretful.

_"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked."_

_"No. No it's okay." _

I take one last deep breath before answering and I pray I can hold back the tears just long enough to answer.

_"The last time I was here was with my mom. I was five. We would come here every week to meet my.."_

My voice hitches unable to get the words out. I shut my eyes trying to regain my thoughts only for them to be opened by the warm touch of Reagan's hand holding mine. Her touch made me feel at home and gave me what I needed to be able to answer her question.

_"We came to meet my dad. He would meet us here after work. Everything was going as usual until my mom got a phone call. The next thing I know I was being thrown over her shoulder and put in the car."_

I pause again knowing the next sentence is going to unleash the tears I've been holding back.

_"That night I found out my dad died and my whole world collapsed. Me and my mom just couldn't bring ourselves to come back because of all the memories. We tried but we only made it as far as the parking lot. All we could see was him and we couldn't handle the idea of him not being able to walk through the door to join us. So we just stopped."_

Tears started streaming down my face as I felt Reagan let go of my hand. I pulled it back wiping away the tears as they ran down my cheek.

Suddenly I feel an arm pulling me. When I look over I see Reagan and all I do is pull her towards me. I hold her as I try to calm myself down. The warmth of her body begins to relax me and I pull back wiping the last few tears away with my thumbs.

_" I'm sorry. I'm sure this isn't exactly how you would want to spend your night."_

_"Hey. It's okay. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."_

_"Really? Even after seeing me like this?"_

_"Definitely after seeing like this. Besides I'm the one who should be sorry. I shouldn't have asked you. I should of waited until you felt like you were ready to tell me."_

_"I wanted to tell you. I just haven't spoken of him since that night."_

_"Thank you."_

_"For what?"_

_"For telling me and letting me in."_

_"I know we just met but I feel like we've known each other our whole lives. Like I can tell you anything and more importantly I want to tell you everything."_

_"I want to tell you everything too, Shrimp Girl but I think we've shed enough tears for one night. What do you say I get you home."_

I shake my head and follow Reagan as she moves out of the booth. Holding hands we walk out of the restaurant and it's at that moment I know. I know I'm home.

We were in the car now and Reagan was driving me home. As we pulled down my street I sighed knowing this was the end of our day together.

_"I had a great time today and would love to do it again."_

I smiled at the statement_ "me too"_.

Leaning in she kisses my cheek _"I'll call you later, Shrimp Girl."_


	5. Chapter 5

Karma.

Karma, Karma, Karma.

I can't stop thinking about her and our friendship. She's the first person that comes to my mind when I get back home and start making my way up the stairs to my room after spending the day with Reagan. I know things have been different between us. We haven't been the same since the wedding. The night I poured my heart out to her changed everything. That night my heart shattered into fragments that had no hope of being mended. I was broken and hurt, in ways I couldn't imagine possible and it was done by the person I thought was incapable of doing them. That night changed everything and will continue to change everything. While it was the night my heart broke, it was also the night I made the biggest mistake of my life and slept with Liam Booker. I try desperately to forget that night but I know I never can. It was a monumental day in my life. All my "firsts" happened that day. My first time saying "I love you" and meaning it with every fiber of my being, my first time getting drunk, my first time having sex, and my first heartbreak all happened that day. And no matter how much I try to forget I know deep down I shouldn't.

The day after was equally difficult to deal with. I had sex for the first time ever and it was with a boy, a boy who was also Karma's sorta boyfriend and I couldn't talk about it. All I could do was deny, and that's what I did the night of the carnival. The night I had a date with a boy and a girl and Karma asked if I could see myself having sex with a guy. That night I pushed it aside, "one step at a time" was what I told her but I knew then I have already taken that step and our friendship will never be the same because of it. The day after my heart broke was also equally as difficult to deal with for another reason. I had to live with the crushing betrayal and guilt of doing the worst possible thing to the person I love most in the world. I know me betraying Karma this way will change our friendship more than me professing my love and it scares me to even think about it. I know we can work through me having feelings for her but I don't know if even our friendship can survive this kind of heartbreak and hurt.

I reach my room and I can officially say our date or better yet accidental run in is over. Karma enters my mind again as I'm laying in my bed staring up at the stars we put on my ceiling and I want nothing more than to tell Karma about Reagan but I know if I do what question will come with it. 'How did you meet?' It's such a simple question but it's surrounded by guilt and lies and I'm not ready to share the answer only for it to lead to the destruction of the only relationship that means something to me. I'm not ready to handle the repercussions of the greatest mistake of my life and I don't think I ever will be ready.

But I still lay here wanting to tell Karma about the nineteen year old DJ who has me smitten. I grab my phone and call her. I don't want anyone more secrets between us and I don't want to keep Reagan from her even though I want to keep Reagan in the dark when it comes to all things Karma.

_"Hello"_

_"Hi! So I have some news... I kind of met someone."_

_"Oh my god. Tell me everything! Start with gender!"_

_"A girl and her name is Reagan."_

We continue our conversation telling her everything that occurred over the past couple hours. Everything seemed to be going good then the words _"How did you meet?"_ escaped from her mouth. The four words I've been dreading and wishing never would have came out where sitting right in front of me and ringing in my ear. I had no choice but to answer.

_"We met at a party but I didn't officially meet her until today."_

I was vague and I hoped I gave Karma enough of an answer that would stop her from asking anymore questions regarding the first time we met. With my luck it worked. No questions about the party or what happened there. She was focused on the present and for that I'm grateful. I know eventually she'll ask about the party and I'll deal with it when that time comes but for now I'm happy I didn't have to lie to her again. I'm happy that the number of secrets I'm holding from her is dwindling. I know eventually she will find out and I hope when the time comes she hears it from me, her soulmate and not Liam Booker. But only time will tell and I can only hope that time will be on my side.

_" I have something else to tell you too."_

_"It can't be nearly as interesting as your new girlfriend!"_

_"She's not my girlfriend..." The words are true but I wish they weren't. I want her as my girlfriend. I know it's way to soon to start putting labels on things but I can't help it. I've known this girl for less than 24 hours and I'm already wanting to start a relationship with her._

_"...But it does have to do with her." _

_"You didn't say anything stupid right?"_

_"Define stupid."_

_"Umm. Like telling her you faked being a lesbian."_

_"No. God no. But I did tell her about my dad."_

_"Amy that's huge! You never talk about your dad. You've only mentioned him like five times since I've known you."_

_"I know. But she took me to Belle's."_

_"Oh my god. Out of all the restaurants she could have picked and she picked Belle's?!"_

_"That's not even all of it."_

_"What else could have possibly happened besides your date picking the only restaurant in the city that you're practically afraid to walk into again?"_

_"Her family owns it."_

_"Wait. Let me get this straight. You met a girl at a party and then randomly ran into her at the movies and you proceeded to get something to eat afterwards which led to having to use your EpiPen and by dumb luck you end up at Belle's which by some weird coincidence is owned by her family?"_

_"Yup."_

_"Wow."_

_"I know."_

_"So did you know her when you were little?"_

_"Not that I can remember."_

_"I mean you had to have seen her at least once. You and your parents were there like every week."_

_"Karma. Stop."_

I had to cut her off before her mind got to deep.

_"You're thinking more about this then me. The only thing I remember about being there was my dad and I want to keep it that way. I don't want to muddle my memories with what might have been. I don't have many memories of him left and I don't want to risk losing them trying to replay our visits in hopes of trying to remember Reagan."_

_"Sorry."_

_"It's okay."_

_"It would be cool if you guys did meet when you were younger though."_

_"Yeah. It would be."_

We talk for another hour before hanging up.

Alone with my thoughts and memories I spent the rest of the night thinking about Reagan and my dad and how I ended up where I am today. I sat there for hours just wondering. Wondering how such an amazing girl could have come into my life and wondering if my dad sent her to me. I don't believe in signs or anything like that but today, today I believe in fate.


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you for all the reviews, follows and favorites. It means a lot knowing that people are enjoying my story. I am currently in the process of writing four different chapters for this story so my next update might take a little longer than normal depending on which chapter I finish first. I appreciate the feedback in the comments and reviews and I am applying the ideas to future chapters so stay tuned!**

**Amy POV**

It's been a week since my first date with Reagan and tonight was the first night I planned on sneaking her into my room. We've talked every night for hours and have gone on a couple dates since our first run in but something about today was different. It's going to be her first time being in my room, our first time alone without having to worry about interruptions and the first time we're spending the whole night together. I'm nervous for what the night holds but I know no matter what happens it's going to be with someone I care for and that I'm starting to really like. Even if nothing happens I would be happy because I'm with her.

Entering my room I hear a faint tapping on my window. I smile at the girl gazing at me from the other side as I walk towards her to let her in. As she crawls through my window I can't help but to feel happy. Once I see her stand I can't get to her soon enough. No words are exchanged. I just crash my lips into hers. I can tell she's taken by surprise but I feel her smile against my lips as she begins to kiss me with the same intensity. I could do this all night but I know I need to break the connection. I begin to pull away only to feel Reagan's hands against my waist pulling me closer. I give in giving her what she wants. Moments later she breaks our kiss and drops her hands from my waist. She rests her forehead on mine and smiles.

_"Hello to you too."_

I can't help but to smile at the words as she breaks away and begins to look around my room. I watch her as she makes her way through my room taking in every detail until she stops in front of the lockers by my door and pulls out a photo album. I cringe at the thought of her seeing my baby pictures but let her flip through the pictures anyways. She took her time stopping to really look at each photo. I watch her for a few minutes before making my way to her. I rest my head on her shoulder peering over to see the photos she's so fascinated with.

_"You were so cute when you were little!"_

_"Those are just the picture I like I'm sure you wouldn't be saying that if you seen the rest." _

_"Can I see the rest?"_

I look at her trying to read her face and trying to decide if I like this girl enough to show her all my embarrassing childhood photos.

_"I promise I won't laugh at any of them!" _

_"Can I get that in writing?"_

She pouts at me as I stare back. I roll my eyes and sigh giving into her request.

_"Fine."_

_"Yayyyy!"_

_"Wait here I'll go get them."_

I quickly exit my room not wanting to leave Reagan alone to long. Sliding back into my through the crack I left open I met Reagan's eyes as she laid there on my bed. I close the door locking it behind me before walking towards the bed. I cuddle up next to her setting one of the albums between us. Each grabbing a side Reagan begins to flip through the pictures. We look at photos for hours both laughing and pointing at the embarrassing images. We're on our last album and for the life of me I can't remember any of the photos or any of the days or events they were taken on. It's like we're seeing the photos for the first time ever together. Reagan's ahead of me looking at the photos but I've noticed she takes the extra time to watch me gaze at the photos while she patiently waits to flip the page.

_"Oh my god!"_

_"What? Is it another picture of me taking a bath?"_

_"No! Look!"_

She points to a picture of a five year old me with another little girl with dark hair. The little girl has her arm wrapped around me and is staring at me with a smile on her face. It takes me a minute to realize why Reagan was so excited. The little girl in the photo is wearing a pink dress with polka dots and was taken at Belle's.

_"Oh my god! Is that you?"_

She now has a huge grin on her face as she shakes her head rapidly.

_"I can't believe you have a picture of us!"_

_"I can't believe it either!"_

Looking at the photo again I reach over and pull it out of its designated slot. Getting up from the bed I could feel Reagan's eyes following me as I made my way to my closet with the photo in hand. After looking for several minutes I finally managed to find what I was searching for. Putting the photo in its new home I begin to walk back towards Reagan and set the frame on the nightstand.

_"This is my new favorite photo." _

She smiles at the comment as I crawl back into bed. I nestle myself as close to Reagan as possible. I rest my head on her chest and lace our fingers before speaking.

_"I wonder if we were friends. I mean I don't think my mom would let me take a photo with a complete stranger."_

_"Maybe. We do look really happy together."_

_"I like the idea that we knew each other once before and were only separated to be able to find each other again. It's sorta romantic."_

_"It is, isn't it?"_

_"Yeah. It is. I just wish I could remember."_

**Reagan POV**

I love the feeling of Amy's body resting against mine. I wish we could be like this all the time. Maybe not the photo part though. I completely underestimated how many photos of Amy there are. I became relieved when Amy pulled out the last album. I enjoy looking at the photos and learning more about Amy but Farrah got a little to excited with the camera. I mean she took pictures of everything and multiples of everything. I think I've seen the same picture like ten times within the same album. Something was different about this album though. In all the other albums the photos were clearly for a purpose. They were posed. People were looking into the camera and they were smiling but the smiles seemed forced. In this one they were taken as if the person in the photo didn't even know a camera was there. They were more relaxed. Real. They're the kind of photos that capture moments and not ideas.

Flipping through the last few pages I was getting ahead of Amy. It's like she's never seen any of the photos before. She's stopping at almost every one quietly pondering when it was taken. As I flip the page I instantly freeze at the sight of a photo of me with my arm around a young Amy. A huge grin begins to form on my face. I can't believe a photo of us exists. I don't even remember the photo being taken but Amy doesn't even remember me. I take another minute to myself to stare at the photo and reminisce before drawing Amy's attention to it. Secretly hoping that the photo will spark the littlest of things and bring all the memories of me rushing back to her.

'I wish I could remember'. Those words stuck in my head and stood out like a sore thumb. My heart sank at the thought of Amy never being able to remember me or remember us. If a picture doesn't spark anything I don't know what will. It hurts me that I can't say anything but I like the idea of Amy not knowing too. I watch her as she leaves my side making her way to her closet. She returns with the photo in a frame. I smile at the fact that she wants it framed but my smile grows wider when she puts the frame directly in front of a picture of Amy with another girl. I don't know who the girl is but I don't like how happy she makes Amy look. Out of all the photos I've seen today that one is my least favorite. Not because I don't know who she is, well that's part of it but it's more of the fact that I haven't seen her that happy since we've been reunited. I know that sounds horrible but I want to be the only one to make her smile like that. I lie though. I hate it because I know Amy remembers her. She remembers everything about her and they clearly are huge part of each others lives considering she was in almost every picture with Amy. And if she is such a big part of Amy's life why isn't Amy mentioning it to me. Better yet, why haven't I asked.

She looks different in the photos with the mystery girl then she does in the one with me and it stings. Her eyes are different. It's always her eyes. They tell so much. They say what words can't always say. They say what she doesn't want to say. Her eyes tell two different stories looking back-and-forth between the two photos that no sit on her nightstand and I only can figure out one of them and it's the one I'm in. I see the twinkle. The one I remember her having and it warms my heart to be able to see it again even if it is just in a photo. But it hurts at the same time because that twinkle is clearly absent from all the other photos even the ones with the mystery girl and I still can't help but to wonder why.


	7. Chapter 7

**I finally finished! Sorry it took so long I wrote the next four chapters in reverse order so it took me a while to get to Chapter 7. So the next couple updates should be coming weekly! Thank you for being patient with me it means a lot that so many people are enjoying my story. Im having a little writers block with Chapter 11 and I'm not quite sure where I want to take the story from where I ended it in Chapter 10 so hopefully I can figure it out before then. But for now I hope you enjoy the next couple chapters! Remember to leave a comment or review!**

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As I wake up I can't help but notice Reagan's arm securely wrapped around me and her warm breath against my neck. I can't stop myself from smiling at the girl laying next to me as I turn to face her. She looks so cute when she sleeps. So peaceful. I wish we could stay like this all day but I know we can't. I have to sneak her out before everyone gets up especially my mom. Peering down at Reagan's body I begin to draw small circles on the exposed skin peaking out from her shirt. Her body is warm to the touch. As I hover my finger tips over her soft skin she begins to hum at the light touches. I smile at the sound as I continue the motion. She begins to stir and moves herself closer to me. I met her eyes when they flickered open. She leans in and kisses me softly whispering 'good morning' in my ear.

_"Good morning to you too."_

We lay there wrapped in each other's arms not wanting to move. Not wanting to let go.

_" I wish you didn't have to go."_

_"Me too... But you know if your mom catches me in here I won't be able to sneak in anymore."_

_"I know. I just wish we didn't have to worry about someone walking in. I just want you all to myself."_

_"You do?"_

_"Yeah. I do."_

Leaning in I kiss her only for her to stop it.

_" You know if you would spend the night at my place we never would have to worry about someone interrupting. We could spend the whole day in bed. We could do whatever we wanted." _

_"Is this your way of asking me to spend the night at your place?"_

_"If you want it to be. I mean you haven't been there yet and it would be nice not to have to scale the side of a house to be able to see you."_

_"So you think you're going to be sneaking in more?"_

_"I hope so. I like being with you. But it would be nice if you come to my place to."_

_"I'd like that."_

_"Do you want to come over tonight?"_

_"I'd love too! I just have to figure out what to tell my mom."_

_"Tell her the truth. Would it be so bad if she found out about us?"_

She said 'us'. I didn't know we were an 'us'. I like the sound of it. The sound of 'us'.

_"I want to tell her. I just don't think she'll handle it well."_

_"Just tell her you're staying at a friends house."_

Friend. The word stuck out like a sore thumb and it stung. I don't want to be just friends. I liked it better when we were an 'us'. And how do we go from an 'us' to a 'friend' in less than a minute.

_"Okay. I'll ask."_

I kiss her one more time before separating and rolling out of bed.

_"You should really get going if you want any chance of me coming over tonight."_

I watch her as she removes herself from my bed and walks over to me.

_"I didn't know you wanted to get rid of me so fast."_

_"I never want to get rid of you. I just need to kick you out temporarily."_

She kisses me one last time before walking to the window.

_"I'll call you later to let you know if I'm coming over." _

_"Okay."_

I sigh as I watch her leave. I wish she could have stayed longer. But I know I'll talk to her later.

Glancing at the clock I know I have only a few minutes before my moms alar will go off. Making my way downstairs with all the photo albums in hand I come to a complete halt when I see my mom in the living room. She glances up from her place on the chair.

_"Good morning baby. What are you doing with those?"_

_"Hi mom. I was just reminiscing. I forgot how much you loved taking pictures."_

_"Yeah. I loved the idea of keeping you little and not letting you grow up. So I made sure I captured every moment."_

_"Well thank you. I really enjoyed looking at them all."_

_"Did you have any favorites?"_

I desperately wanted to tell her of my new favorite picture sitting on my nightstand and to be able to tell her about Reagan but I figure I should ask about the photo before telling her about the girl in it.

_"Actually there's one picture I wanted to ask you about."_

_"Which one?"_

_"I'll go get it. I pulled it out so I wouldn't forget."_

I lied. I had other motives for pulling the image out of the album. I set the albums in their designated home and ran up to my room. I removed the photo from the frame and make my way back downstairs. I handed my mom the picture and watch as she looks over it.

_"I haven't seen this in years. What made you pull this one out?"_

_"I know it's from Belles but I don't recognize the girl let alone remember her."_

I waited patiently to see if she knows. Knowing it was a shot in the dark chance that she would remember. She let out a deep breath before speaking.

_"That's Reagan. You two were inseparable. Every time we went to Belles I couldn't keep you two away from each other."_

_I cut her off. How come she remembers but I don't. If Reagan and I were so inseparable why do I have no memory of her._

_"If we were so close why don't I remember her?"_

_"I'm surprised you don't. She's the only reason we ever went to Belles. You would always bug me and your father to take you there just so you could be with Reagan. I've never seen two people be drawn together as much and as strong as you"_

_"What happened that I stopped asking you to take me there?"_

_"I'm not sure exactly. It stopped around the time your dad died. I tried taking you there but you refused to get out of the car. You would just sit in the parking lot staring at the door until I gave up trying. Eventually I just gave up entirely. Then,Karma came into your life and Belles and Reagan just became a thing of the past."_

_"Can you tell me about her?"_

_"Sure."_

I watched her as she glanced at the photo once more.

"She was a few years older than you and very sure of herself. She always knew what she wanted and she wasn't afraid to share it with you. I remember one time we walked into Belles and she grabbed your hand away from me and told me that you were hers and that she wouldn't let you leave unless I agreed to let you spend the whole day with her."

_"And what did you say."_

_"I said 'okay' and walked out the door. I've never seen you more happy then that day." _

_"So you just dropped me off and left me alone?"_

_"Amy. You weren't alone. You had Reagan and I knew then that she wouldn't let anything happen to you. So yes. I did leave."_

She looks at me before continuing.

_"That photo in your hand. That was taken that day. And that dress that she's wearing she basically wore that everyday. She told me one time that as long as she had that dress and you in her life she would be happy. And I believed her. You know that stuffed cow you love so much?"_

_"Yeah. I never sleep without it."_

_"She gave it to you. She was always so generous to you and every time we went to see her she always had something to give you. I save them all if you want to see them."_

_"You saved them?"_

_"I couldn't bring myself to throw them out. Every time I tried I felt guilty and had a strong feeling I should hang on to them for you."_

_"I would love to see them."_

_"I'll go get them then."_

I watch her as she makes her way upstairs. A few minutes later she returns with a small shoebox.

_"Here you go baby. I have to leave to go to work but go ahead and look through everything."_

She hands me the box before walking to the door.

_"Mom?"_

_"Yeah sweetie?"_

_"Thank you."_

_"You're welcome."_

I watch as she walks out the door and wait for the door to close before running upstairs to my room. I sit on my bed with the box on my lap and carefully pull off the lid and set it next to me. The box is filled with small trinkets and hand-drawn pictures. I carefully start pulling each item out in hopes that something will spark my memory. The box is almost empty and I'm still having no memory of her. I can only hope with the next few items I pull out one of them will ignite something in me. Even if it's the littlest of memories I want to be able to remember. Be able to hold on to something. Be able to tell her.


	8. Chapter 8

**You guys are awesome! Thank you for all the follows, favorites and comments. So as a little thank you i'm updating a couple days early! I hope you enjoy! If you keep it up ill post a bonus chapter this week!**

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Today was the day. The day Reagan was coming over for dinner. The day she will meet my mother. The day I'm going to to introduce her as my girlfriend. The day I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend. We've been going out for about two weeks but we never officially put a label on what we are. I know she hasn't been seeing anybody else but I don't know if she wants to be exclusive or if she just wants this to be a fling. A phase. The only catch is I still have to ask my mom if Reagan can come over and somehow convince Reagan to have dinner with my family.

Walking down the steps I begin to scan the room in search of my mother. I eventually find her in the kitchen with her coffee mug in one hand and newspaper in the other.

_"Mom."_

_"Hi baby. What are you doing up so early?"_

_"I wanted to ask you something before you left for work."_

_"Is everything okay?"_

_"Yeah I just... I just wanted to ask you if I can invite a friend over for dinner tonight."_

_"A friend?"_

_"Yes mom. A friend."_

_"Do I know this friend?"_

_"You'll have to wait and see."_

_"Amy. I don't wa.."_

I cut her off before she can finish her sentence.

_"Mom please."_

_"Fine. Dinner is at six."_

I wrap my arms around her and squeeze tight.

_"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"_

_"Okay. Okay that's enough now. You're going to wrinkle my suit."_

I release her from my embrace and run back into my bedroom. One down. One to go. Okay I can do this. Today's date night so I know Reagan isn't working. I just need to convince her to give up our night together to spend the night with my family. Pacing back and forth in my room I finally gain enough courage and call Reagan.

_"Hey Shrimp Girl! Couldn't wait till tonight huh?"_

_"That's actually what I'm calling about."_

_"You're not canceling on me are you?"_

_"No. Definitely not. But..."_

_"I don't like the sound of that but."_

_" it's not bad. Well at least I don't think it is."_

_"Okay?"_

I sense nervousness in her voice and I begin to panic. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe it's too soon. Maybe. No. I'm going to do this. I need to do this. I want to do this.

_"Amy? Are you still there?"_

"_Yeah. Sorry. I got distracted."_

_"So... What about tonight?"_

"_Right. Okay. So I was wondering if you possibly wanted to skip our date night and come to my house for dinner instead."_

Silence. Silence was all I heard.

_"Reagan? Hello? If you don't want..."_

She cuts me off.

_"No. I want to. I just wasn't expecting.."_

_"For me to invite you over."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Well I want you to. I want you to meet my mom."_

_"You do?"_

_"I do."_

_"Then I'll be there."_

_"Really?!"_

_"Yeah. What time should I come over?"_

_"Dinner is at six. So maybe 5:30ish."_

_"Do I need to bring anything?"_

_"No. Just yourself."_

"So I'm guessing I shouldn't come through your window then."

I sense the sarcasm in her voice but answer anyway.

_"The front door would work. Maybe after you can sneak in?"_

_"Walking through the front door only to be snuck in later through a window. I think I may like tonight after all."_

_"I hope the highlight of your night won't be you walking through the front door instead of coming through my window."_

_"I hope not either. I was planning on saving that for later!"_

_"And what exactly do you think will happen later?"_

_"I don't think. I know."_

_"You do huh?"_

_"I do."_

_"You're getting a little cocky there don't you think?"_

_"Hey. A girl can dream can't she."_

_"Only if I can be in them."_

_"So. Amy Raudenfeld wants to be in my dreams?"_

_"Maybe."_

_"Hmmm. Am I in your dreams?"_

Silence. Silence is all there is. How do I answer that? The answer is 'yes' but I don't want her to get weirded out at the fact that I do think about her while I sleep.

_"Will that bug you if you are?"_

_"Not one bit."_

_"Then...yes."_

_"Really?!"_

_"You sound shocked."_

_"I just wasn't expecting you to say yes."_

_"Am I in yours?"_

_"So about dinner?"_

_"Hey! Don't change the subject."_

_"Fine. I'll tell you. You'll just have to wait until tonight to find out!"_

_"Fine. You'll just have to wait until tonight to find out the other reason I called."_

_"You wanted more out of me then dinner?"_

_"Yep. But now you'll have to wait to find out."_

She begins beg.

_"Tell me! Please!"_

_"Nope. You have to wait now."_

_"I'll tell you now if you tell me!"_

_"Nope. You'll find out tonight."_

_"Fine."_

_"Okay. I got to go. I have to get a bunch done before you come over."_

_"Alright. I'll see you later."_

_"I'm looking forward to it."_

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5:25. Okay five more minutes.

_"Amy!"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"Are you going to tell me who this friend is?"_

_"It's a surprise."_

_"Amy I don't like surprises."_

_"She'll be here in a few minutes and I promise you'll love her."_

Not a moment later we both turn to the door as we hear the doorbell echo through the house. I can feel my moms eyes on me as I walk to the door. I smile at the girl who is waiting behind the door. She looks beautiful.

_"Hi Shrimp Girl."_

_"Hi. You look amazing!"_

_"Thank you. You don't look so bad yourself."_

We stand there staring at each other only for us to be brought back to reality by my mother.

_"Amy let the poor girl in. Let me meet this mysterious dinner guest."_

I step aside and let Reagan walk through the door. She reaches her hand out and meets my moms.

_"Hi I'm Reagan. I'm Amy's..."_

I cut her off.

_"Reagan is..."_

Before I can get the rest of my words out I am cut off by my mom.

_"Oh my god. You're so grown up."_

I smile knowing my mom knows exactly who Reagan is. Reagan looks at me confused though.

_"I'm sorry. You must think I'm crazy. I'm Farrah. I use to know you when you were little."_

_"You remember me?"_

_"Of course! You and Amy were inseparable when you were younger."_

_"I can't believe you remember that was so long ago."_

_"I could never forget. You made Amy so happy. You don't remember?"_

_"No."_

Both of them move their eyes in my direction and I take the opportunity to change the subject.

_"I would love to stand here and reminisce over my childhood but I think dinner is ready._"

Dinner was going great. Reagan was catching my mom up on what she's been up to and telling her she should stop by Belles. Everything was going as I anticipated until she turned to me then back to Reagan.

_"So how did you two run into each other after all this time?"_

I feel my mind go blank. I knew what to say when Karma asked but I never thought of what to say to my mother. I'm brought back to reality at the sound of Reagan's voice.

_"We actually are da..."_

I cut her off. I don't want the next word to escape her lips.

_"Dance partners. Reagan is teaching me how to dance."_

_"Yeah. I'm her coach. I thought we were making good progress but after our last session I'm not so sure."_

I know what she's referring to and I hear the disappointment in her voice but I ignore it for right now.

_"I didn't know Amy was into dancing."_

_"I have always been into it. I just needed the right person to teach me and when I met Reagan at a party I knew if anyone could teach me it would be her."_

_"Well you'll have to show me what you've learned when your lessons are done."_

_"Maybe. I think I still have some room for improvement."_

The rest of the night was going much better. We all made her way to the living room and put in a movie. It was nice to not have to worry about more questions about me and Reagan. As the movie begins I feel Reagan's hand on mine. I quickly pull it away only for it to find its way on my upper thigh. I stand up at the contact.

_"I'll be right back."_

I quickly make my way upstairs and into my room closing the door behind me. Moments later I hear a knock on the door followed by Reagan's voice.

_"Amy. Are you okay? Your mom sent me up here to check on you."_

I open the door and meet her eyes.

_"Yeah. I'm fine let's go finish watching the movie."_

I begin to walk towards the steps only for Reagan's hand to grab my wrist and pull me towards her. I do my best to resist and put a gap between our bodies.

_"Come on Reagan lets go finish watching the movie. I don't want my mom to come looking for us."_

I see the smile disappear from her face as she walks past me and makes her way down the steps. I sigh and trail behind. For the rest of the movie a gap exists between us. I want to move closer but I know Reagan is irritated with me and I don't want to move closer only for me to push away any other contact she wants to show me.

The movie finally ended and we make our way to the door.

_"Reagan it was wonderful seeing you again. You should come by more often. I know Amy would love to have you over more."_

_"It was nice to catch up with you too and thank you maybe I will."_

_"Well it's getting late. Amy why don't you walk Reagan out to her car."_

I shake my head knowing that this is my chance to make sure Reagan is okay. Reagan is parked down the street out of distance of my house. When we reach her truck I grab her hand to attempt to get her attention. It doesn't work and Reagan quickly pulls hers away.

_"Reagan. Please say something."_

_"Oh now you want to talk and hold my hand. What the hell Amy!"_

I Look at her and I can see the anger in her eyes.

_"You didn't want to tell your mom we're dating and you wouldn't even hold my hand. And when I tried to kiss you, when we were alone you didn't even want to get near me. Are you straight?"_

_"No. I'm not."_

_"Do you even want to be with me?"_

_"Of course I do. Where's this coming from? You know I'm into you."_

_"I had this girlfriend that I was crazy about. Then she dumped me to get back with her ex. Boyfriend."_

_"First I don't have an ex anything and second I'm not her."_

_"She told me I was a phase. I can't go through that again."_

_"Hey. You're not a phase to me."_

I lean in and kiss her. Trying to get my point across. I want to make sure she knows this is more than a fling and far from a phase.

_"If you're into me why wouldn't you tell your mom?"_

_"I wanted you to meet her just as Reagan and not as the girl I'm dating. I wanted my mom to know you for you. And I wanted to ask you something before I made proper introductions. That's why I invited you to dinner."_

_" I don't care what your mom thinks. I just want to be able to hold your hand and kiss you without feeling like I'm unwanted."_

_" I want you. I want you in my life. I want you to be part of me. I want us to be an 'us'. I want... I want you to be my girlfriend."_

_"You do?"_

_"I do."_

_" I would love too!"_

I lean in again. This time Reagan making first contact. The kiss is rough and demanding, while at the same time soft, sensual, and intimate. Everything around us begins to fade away. It's just me and Reagan. Nothing else exists as our tongues begin to battle for dominance. We are both full of passion and I give in to Reagan, letting her take control and giving her what she wants. I can do this all day but I know I have to break our connection. Moments later we part with great hesitance but for much needed air.

_"I should head back before my mom comes looking for me. Did you still want to sneak in?"_

_"I would love too but I know what will happen as soon as I crawl through that window. I know I won't be able to resist you. Your lips. Your body. Your eyes. That smile and the way you look at me that makes me tremble. So I'm going to stop while I can and leave while I still have some ounce of control left."_

I kiss her goodbye. I wanted her to come back to my room but I know she's right. As much as she couldn't resist I know I couldn't either. I mean she's drop dead gorgeous. I swear her lips are going to be the death of me and those eyes, I can stare into those eyes all day,

_"I'll call you later. Okay?"_

I nod my head knowing if I say another word we will never be able to separate.

_"Night Shrimp Girl."_

_"Night Reagan."_

_"Oh. And by the way the answer is yes."_

_"Yes to what?"_

_"Your question earlier about wether you're in my dreams or not. The answer is yes."_

I grin back at her.

_"I like that we both think about each other while we sleep."_

_"Me too."_

And with those last two words trailing off her lips she disappeared. I watch her as she drives away before making my way back home.

I walk into the house and sigh. I can't believe she said yes. I can't believe she's my girlfriend. i can't believe she's mine. She's my Reagan. I am quickly brought out of my thoughts at the sound of my mom walking towards me.

_"Reagan's really sweet. It was wonderful seeing you two together again. It brought back many good memories. You should have her over more often. I like you together. You make a cute couple."_

_"Wait. You know we're dating?"_

_"Amy. If you didn't want me to know you should have came up with a better story than her being your dance coach. I've seen you dance and know you well enough to know no amount of lessons can help. Besides you gave it away every time you looked at her. I could see it in your eyes."_

_"You're not mad?"_

_"Why would I be mad?"_

_"Well you weren't exactly supportive or happy about the fact that I came out as a lesbian and was dating Karma."_

_"Amy. I don't care if you're a lesbian or if you're straight. I just want you to be happy and I didn't see that with Karma."_

_"Karma made me happy."_

_"I know she did and I know she still does. But when I see you two together I know you're hurting because you can't be yourself with her anymore. I know you loved her and maybe still do and that she doesn't feel the same way. So yes I wasn't exactly happy but that was only because my little girl was hurting and there wasn't anything I could do to help."_

I stare back at her not knowing what to say.

_"So when I found out you and Karma were faking it I became relieved because there was hope that I could see you happy again and that some of the hurt would disappear with the fact that you didn't have to keep such a huge secret anymore. But as the days went on the hurt didn't go away. It wasn't until a couple weeks ago the hurt disappeared and I finally know why. Seeing you with Reagan I couldn't be any happier or supportive. She brought you back. She's making you happy."_

Tears are now trickling from my eyes as I move towards my mom and wrap my arms around her.

"_Thank you."_

_"For what sweetie?"_

_"Just thank you."_

She kisses the top of my head.

_"You're welcome baby."_

_"Mom?"_

_"Yeah?"_

I pull away slightly and look up at her.

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too. Now go upstairs and call your girlfriend."_

I give her one last squeeze before loosening my grip and giving her one last smile of thanks before making my way to my bedroom to drown in my thoughts and get lost in my girlfriends voice.


	9. Chapter 9

**You guys are seriously amazing! As I promised here is your bonus update for the week! Updates will continue to come every week unless I get backed up with future unwr****itten chapters. But for now enjoy!**

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**Reagan POV**

I've never been so nervous in my whole entire life. I have only been dating Amy a few weeks but I can't help myself. I want answers and Amy isn't exactly an open book. Which brings me here. Sitting in Amy's driveway staring at the front door. I stare at the door going back and forth contemplating whether or not I should even be here. I know it's going to jeopardize our relationship but I have to take the risk. Taking one last deep breath I leave the comfort of my truck and brace myself for what I'm about to do.

_"Reagan! What a pleasant surprise but Amy isn't home."_

_"I know. I came to see you."_

_"Well come in. Come in. Make yourself comfortable. Can I get you something to drink?"_

_"No thank you. I'm fine."_

_"So what brings you here?"_

_"I just wanted to come say hi." _I lied.

_"Now I think I know you enough to know that's not true. So tell me the real reason you're here."_

I take one more deep breath before I speak again.

_"Mrs. Cooper."_

_"Please. Call me Farrah."_

_"Ok. Farrah."_

_"Yes."_

_"Can I ask you something?"_

_"Of course dear! What is it?"_

_"Can you tell me about Amy's dad?"_

Silence filled the room as she turned towards me. She motioned to the couch.

_"Have a seat."_

I followed the instructions, immediately sitting down and facing her.

_"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. It's just Amy has only mentioned him once and I can tell there's something she isn't telling me about him."_

_"I can't tell you what Amy won't. That's Amy's business and if you really want to know, you should ask her. But whatever it is you think Amy is keeping from you she has it locked up and buried inside for a reason and she's not going to just let anyone in."_

I bow my head as regret fills my body and I instantly know what she's trying to get at.

_"I'm sorry. I should go.."_

She cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.

_"He was sarcastic, charismatic, thoughtful and incredibly loyal. He was everything Amy is now. Sometimes when I look at her all I see is him. It still amazes me that so much of him is in her, for him only being in her life for such a short period of time. She was five when he left. He died in the winter. Amy always thought it was poetic how he lived and died with the seasons. Being born in the spring a time when new life begins and dying in the winter when life seems to fade away. I see where she got it from. He always loved when the seasons changed. They were his favorite times of the year." _

She pauses taking a moment to compose herself and to wipe away the tears beginning to stream from her eyes.

_"That winter when he left us. A part of Amy went with him. I haven't seen that part of her ever since. I always wanted my baby girl back but she never came back. I always thought it was because of her father but seeing you with her I know I was wrong. It was you. You're the missing piece that disappeared so many years ago. You brought her back to me."_

Tears were streaming down my cheeks as she continued to speak.

_"You two were always joined at the hip. You were inseparable. It took everything in me to break you apart before her dad would show up to join us. Half the time you would even eat with us because I would just give up on trying to separate you."_

_"If we were so inseparable, why doesn't she remember me?"_

_"Well maybe that's what she's been keeping from you and what she has locked away."_

As she walks away leaving me on the couch with tears in my eyes she turns to me again.

_"You know, she always told me she didn't want to go back to Belle's because it reminded her too much of her father. Now. Now I'm not so sure."_

Before I even had a chance to respond she disappeared into the kitchen leaving me alone with my thoughts and tears. After sitting a moment collecting my thoughts I grabbed my jacket and walked out the door. I didn't hear what I wanted to hear but I know I'm leaving with more questions than what I had walking through the door.

Once in my truck I pull out my phone and dial the number that has become so familiar to me over the past couple weeks.

_"Hey! I thought you had to work?"_

I ignore the question slash statement.

_"Can you sneak away for an hour or so we need to talk?"_

_"Yeah. Is everything okay?"_

_"Just meet me at Belle's. I don't want to talk about it on the phone. I want to see you."_

__"Okay. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."__

I sensed concern in her voice and I knew what she must be thinking but I can't deal with it right now and hang up the phone. Pulling into the parking lot I could see her sitting in our booth. She looked sad and I knew why. I didn't exactly end our phone call the right way. Walking into the restaurant I could see the concern and sadness up close. It was all over her face. I sat across from her so I can see her eyes. God I love those eyes. I wish after tonight I can still look into those eyes.

_"If you're going to break up with me do it quick. I can't handle.."_

I cut her off. Pressing my lips against hers secretly wishing that this won't be our last kiss. The kiss was delicate and cautious. I took my time making sure she wanted it as much as I did. As I began to pull away I felt her arms around my waist pulling me in closer and her teeth biting my lower lip slightly as she began pulling it back towards hers. The kiss quickly intensified as she slid her tongue across my bottom lip asking for permission to deepen the kiss. I pursed my lips denying her request and began to pull away again. I linger for a moment. Hovering slightly above her lips. Giving us the much needed time to catch our breath before completely seperating myself from her. I want nothing more than to sit here and kiss her but I need to get this off my chest and I know we're starting to gain a little audience and I don't want to give them a show.

I rest my forehead on hers and look directly into her eyes and whisper,_"I don't want to break up with you." _before moving to my spot across the table.

_"I wanted you to come here because I need to tell you something and I figured this place is as good as any to tell you."_

I took a deep breath before continuing. Knowing what I was going to say next might destroy us, I wanted a moment to just be with her.

_"I didn't go to work today. I lied. I went to see your mom."_

_"Wait. You went to see my mom?"_

_"Please. Let me just get this out before I lose my nerve."_

__"Sorry. Continue."_  
_

__"I went to see your mom because I wanted to ask her about your dad. I could tell you were hiding something from me and I...I knew you wouldn't tell me so I..."__

__"So you went behind my back and asked my mother?!"__

I could hear the anger building in her voice as each word escaped her mouth.

_"I'm sorry. I just needed to know."_

_"Did you get your answer?!"_

_"I think you already know the answer to that. Look I didn't ask you here to try to pry your past out of you. I just want to be honest with you."_

_"If you didn't want to pry you shouldn't have went to my mother."_

_"I know. I'm sorry. I feel horrible but I don't regret doing it. Even though I didn't get the answers I went there for, your mom made me realize something about you and she left me with more questions then anything."_

_"And what kind of questions would those be?"_

I could still hear the anger in her voice and I wanted nothing more than for it to disappear but I know it won't. I betrayed her. I broke our trust and thats hard to come back from.

_"Questions about our past."_

_"What questions could you possibly have about our past? We've only been dating a few weeks."_

_"Not that past. Our other past."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"I lied to you. I lied about not remembering..."_

I can feel the tears forming in my eyes and drop my head in an attempt to hide them from Amy. Fighting the tears I gaze up to look at her and look into her eyes. I stare at her and watch her face change. I can see her face begin to soften as the anger disappears and turns into sadness.

_"Amy. I remember you. I knew exactly who you were the first time you mentioned coming here when you were little. I just couldn't bring myself to tell you and..."_

She cuts me off again.

_"So you've been keeping this from me this whole time? You've been lying to me since day one. Day one Reagan!"_

_"I know. Im so sorry. I just didn't want to lose you again."_

_"Wait. Again. What do you mean again? I'm sorry I can't do this. I need to leave."_

Tears were now running down her face as she began to gather her things and walk towards the door.

_"Amy. Stop."_

The words escape my mouth as I grab her hand just before she reaches the door. Our eyes are both filled with tears and I begin to plea.

"_Please stay. We need to talk about this. I need you to stay. Please."_

_"I'm sorry. I can't do this right now. I need to go. I need time to process this. Process us."_

And just like that she was pulling her hand away from mine and waking away. Leaving me alone crying my eyes out. This is it. I've done it again. I lost the only girl I truly ever cared about for the second time. I sat there for ten minutes shedding tears till I couldn't shed any more. I walked outside and froze instantly. Amy was standing there in the parking lot with her arms wrapped around the auburn haired girl that i've seen so many times in pictures but never in person. I couldn't take my eyes off them. They seemed so silent. Still. I stood there transfixed. Paralyzed. I did't even notice the auburn haired girl lift her head off Amy's shoulder. I looked at her and saw the tears being hoarded in her eyes. We stared at each other for what seemed like hours before she pulled herself from Amy's embrace and looked into her eyes. The set of eyes I would see next I know would set off the flood gates and let loose whatever tears I have left. As she spun my eyes remained locked. I wanted to see her and I wanted her to see me. Our eyes locked and I could see the hurt hidden behind the tears that she was holding captive. Her eyes were puffy and strained but I couldn't stop staring at them. I search them trying to find an answer. Trying to figure out whats going through her mind but I can't get past the hurt and pain. I take a step forward trying to close the gap between us but it does no good as she takes a step back. I glance down breaking our eye contact to see the auburn haired girls hand grab Amy's. Her arm begins to become extended as the other girl pulls her away. Walking backwards Amy follows the direction of her arm until she reaches the car parked behind them. Never once braking eye contact with me. I stare at her through the car window unable to move from my spot. She gazes back at me and our eyes lock once again. As I watch her disappear I can't help but wonder if I should have chased after her. I should have fought harder to keep her to stay. I should have never let go.


	10. Chapter 10

**You guys have been awesome so I'm not going to make you wait a week. Updates will come 1-2 times a week so stay tuned! Your comments have been AMAZING! Im glad so many people are enjoying my story. Just don't give up on it over the course of the next 4 chapters. I promise the story ends on a good note. **

* * *

**Amy POV**

I just couldn't sit there anymore. I couldn't listen. I just needed to leave. As I pulled away I could hear her crying behind me but I couldn't look back. I had to go. I had to let go and walk out the door. It took everything in me to continue walking. I couldn't bare to see her hurt and I didn't want her to see me with tears streaming down my face as well.

How could she go behind my back and talk to my mom? Better question how could she lie to me for so long? I'm not mad at her for lying about not going to work because I lied about what I was doing today to. I told her I was working on a school project with Shane but really I was with Karma, the one person in my life I still haven't told her about. I know I've been keeping things from her but the way she went about finding what I was keeping locked up was what made me mad. But what really mattered and hurt the most was the fact that she didn't come to me and that she didn't tell me about remembering.

The moment I realized that I remembered I wanted nothing more than to tell her. That's why I was with Karma. She was helping me recreate the day in the picture. I wanted to surprise Reagan and tell her everything. Now I'm not so sure I want to tell her.

I fumble in my pocket searching for my phone and call the only person I can truly count on and trust.

_"Can you come pick me up?"_

_"Yeah. Is everything okay?"_

_"No. It's not. Can you just please hurry?!"_

_"I'm on my way. Are you still at Belle's?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Okay. I'll be there as soon as I can."_

I hang up the phone and sit on the ground in front of Belle's hoping Karma gets here before Reagan comes out.

Karma got here in record time. Something in me wondered if she stayed close by knowing somehow that something bad would happen.

She knew I was nervous when Reagan called and said she needed to talk. She knew I feared the worst. She knew I wouldn't be able to handle anymore hurt to my heart if my worries about what the talk was about were true. So I did wonder. Did she stay near by in case disaster struck? Did she remain close in fear that my heart would be shattered again? Apart of me wonders. Apart of me also thinks that Karma wants my heart to break so she can mend me. So she can have me to herself again. But I know that can't be true. Karma would never wish hurt on me.

She didn't waste anytime once she got out of the car. She ran towards me and I could see the worry in her face.

_"Amy are you okay? What happened? Did you tell her? Did she break up with you?" _

The questions kept pouring out of her mouth and I didn't know which one to answer first. I just stared at her as the tears fell down my face. I manage to speak between the sobs.

_"I didn't tell her. I couldn't. She's been lying to me this whole time."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

The tears are streaming more now and I'm having trouble getting the words out.

_"Reagan. She remembers everything. She knew who I was since the first time we came here." _

I take a moment to wipe away some of the the tears before I speak again

_"That's not even half of it."_

_"What else did she lie about?"_

_"She didn't lie again. She went to talk to my mother about my dad and about me and what I've been keeping hidden from her."_

_"Wait. She went to talk to your mom?"_

_"She wanted answers. She said I wouldn't give them to her so she went behind my back. If she just would of ..."_

Tears are coming out faster now and it's becoming harder to breathe. Karma takes a step closer to me and pulls me into a hug. The warmth of her body and steady heartbeat begin to relax me as the sobs start to fade.

_"If she just would of asked, I would of told her."_

_"I know."_

_"She had no right to go behind my back. She should have came to me."_

_"I know."_

_"I don't understand. I thought everything was going good with us."_

_"It was. It still is."_

_"How do you know?"_

_"Because Reagan's right behind us."_

_"I don't want to talk to her right now."_

"You don't have to. Just look at her."

"Why?"

"You'll know when you see her."

I feel her letting go of me. She stared at me and I knew she wouldn't take me home until I turned towards Reagan.

_"Amy. Trust me. Just look at her then I'll take you home."_

I broke eye contact with Karma and braced myself for the girl I was going to see next. I turned towards her and our eyes instantly met. I get it now. I see what Karma was talking about. Her eyes were swollen and I can tell she's been crying from the trickling stray tears that are falling from her eyes. They aren't tears of hurt and anger like mine though. They look different. Her face looks different. Her face looks familiar though and its when she takes a step forward I realize why. It's the face I made after I told Karma I loved her and she said she didn't love me back. I'm frozen. I can't move and don't want to move. But when she took that step I had to take one back. I can't talk to her now. Not when I'm like this. Not when she's like that. I'm not ready for that conversation yet. So when Karma grabs my hand and begins to pull I follow. My eyes never leave Reagan. I watch her through the car window and wonder. I wonder why she didn't fight harder for me to stay. I know why I didn't fight. I didn't want to say something I would regret. I didn't want to do something out of anger. But Reagan. I'm not so sure of. I wanted her to. I really did. I would of stayed. Maybe. No. I definitely would of stayed.


	11. Chapter 11

**Here you guys go. I know some of you weren't happy with the last chapter and with Amy but I promise she's over reacting for a reason and that will be explained in the next chapter. Once again thanks for the feedback and love it means a lot ! **

**Karma POV**

I hate seeing Amy this way. She looks so broken. I haven't seen her like this since the night she said she loved me. The night our friendship changed. The night I broke her. I glance at her every few minutes to make sure she's still there. The car ride back to her house was painfully quiet. I prepared myself for this. I prepared myself but Im not sure she did. I mean how could she. She never could have predicted the night ending the way it did. So I prepared. I prepared for her. I prepared for me. I stayed close to Belle's. I stayed close to Amy. I wanted to be near by just in case the conversation Reagan wanted to have went south. I wanted to be there for Amy. And now. Watching her stare out the window like her whole world has just been ripped away Im glad I did. She needed me and Im happy I could be there for her. Im happy she still needed me after everything we've been through. I want to help. I want to fix her aching heart. I want to wipe away her tears. I want to hold her tight. Let the past hour disappear. But I know as much as I hold her and comfort her she's still going to feel broken and that breaks my heart. I know the only person who can fix this is Reagan and that hurts even more. I want to be the only person to mend Amy's heart. The only person who has Amy's heart. So when we pull up to Amy's house and she doesn't say anything. Doesn't move. I know. I know she doesn't want to be there. I know her so well we don't even have to look at each other. We don't have to speak. We don't have to do anything and I know exactly what she wants. Exactly what she needs. Exactly what she's thinking. And it makes me wonder if Reagan knows her like that. If she knows Amy as much as I do. If she did. If she does. Maybe this situation would have never happened. And maybe if she doesn't I still have a chance. A chance at having my Amy back. A chance of not having to share her. A chance of maybe loving her like she loves me.

_"You don't have to go home. You can stay at my house if you want."_

She snaps out of her bubble she's been in the whole way home and I see her face for the first time since leaving Belle's. Her face is puffy and her eyes are strained unable to produce anymore tears. She looks defeated. Like she's done fighting. Done with everything. She doesn't even speak. She just looks at me and nods. I don't even think she's capable of forming sentences or thoughts. Her mind is elsewhere. It's probably in the same place as her heart. With Reagan. So I don't even want to try. At least for right now. She needs time and I'm going to give it to her. No matter how long. I'm going to give it to her. I know when she's ready she'll talk. She'll come to me. And I'll be waiting. I'll always be waiting.

* * *

_"Amy come on its been one whole day and you haven't said one word. Look you don't have to talk but can you at least eat something. I brought you donuts!"_

It was a weak attempt. A last ditch effort of getting Amy to remove herself from my bed. She's been in the same position since last night. She hasn't moved. Hasn't spoken. Hasn't done anything. So I'm worried. I thought she would have come to me by now. I thought she would of said something. So I'm resorting to donuts. Fucking donuts. If these don't work I'm going to have to push her off the edge. Push her to talk. Push her to do anything besides lay in my bed.

_"Amy please. I want to help. I want to talk and help you figure things out but I can't do that if you won't let me. I'll wait. I'll wait till you're ready to talk but please. Just please say something. Anything. Any single word. Just try. Try to eat something. Try moving."_

_"She hasn't even called me."_

_"What?"_

_"After everything that happened last night how could she not call me. Text me. Want to see me."_

_"Amy she's hurting too."_

_"Not like me."_

_"Amy. You don't know that. I saw her last night. She was clearly hurting. Maybe not in the same way but she was hurting none the less."_

_"I don't understand how she could lie to me for so long. So easily."_

_"Maybe she was scared. You didn't exactly tell her right away either Amy. You can't be mad at her for something you did too."_

_"How can you sit there and defend her?"_

_"I'm not defending her. I have no reason to defend her. All I'm saying is it's a two way street. You left her. You needed time. So don't be mad at her for giving it to you. You have her number. You're able to call her just as easily as she can call you."_

_"I don't want to call her. I want her to call me. I want her to fight for me. She didn't even try firghting. She didn't even try Karma. How can I be with someone who won't even try?"_

_"Because. Because you love her Amy. You both left Belle's defeated. You both left broken. How can you expect someone to fight with a wounded heart. A broken heart."_

_"I don't know Karma. But I still wanted her to try."_

We are both distracted by the buzzing on my night stand and I watch Amy as she reaches for her phone.

_"It's her."_

_"Are you going to answer."_

_"No. Not now. I need more time to think. I need more time to plan what I'm going to say to her. But I'm glad she called. Even though I'm not ready I'm glad she's still fighting."_

* * *

It's been two days. Two whole days and Amy has still spent the last two nights crying herself to sleep. I can tell she's getting better. Calming down more with every passing minute. Though she still is crying I know they aren't tears of betrayal, or hurt anymore but tears of realization of how much Reagan means to her and how she almost lost her or will lose her.

_"Have you answered any of her calls yet?"_

_"No."_

_"Amy. You can't keep doing this. You have to talk to her."_

_"I know. I will I promise. I just don't want this to be the end."_

_"It won't be. Just talk to her"_

_"What if she doesn't like what I have to say?"_

_"Then I guess it will be your turn to fight."_

For a moment she just stared at me. Like her mind is stuck on my last statement._ 'Your turn to fight'. _It's not until a faint knock echoes through the house that she is brought back to reality and out of her daze. I make my way to the door only to see Reagan walking away. I debate in my head whether I should let her keep walking. Let her drive away or if I should let her in. Let her talk to her girlfriend. Let her talk to my Amy. I ponder.


	12. Chapter 12

**Reagan POV**

Its been two days since Amy left Belle's. Left me. and I still haven't heard from her. She isn't answering any of my calls or texts and I'm starting to get worried. I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her. I'm falling for her. I've never felt so strongly for someone in such a short period of time. I've never fallen this fast. I've never felt so complete. Even looking back on my relationship with Naya before she broke my heart o get back together with her ex-boyfriend I can't recall ever feeling this way. So as I lay here I knowI have to do something. I can't let Amy go that easy. I have to fight. I have to try to fight. I have to see her. I have to explain.

* * *

Déjà vu sets in as I pull into Amy's driveway and I pray that this time the outcome will be different. I walk up to the door and take a deep breath before knocking. I take a step backwards as I see the handle of the door begin to move and hope that it won't be slammed in my face by the person on the opposing side when they see me. I'm oddly relieved when I see Farrah on the other side

_"Hi. Is Amy home?"_

_"No she's at Karma's. She hasn't been home for a couple days."_

Karma's? That must be the girl I saw Amy with. The girl from all the pictures.

_"Do you think you can tell me where Karma lives?"_

_"Hold on one second."_

I watch as she walks away returning a few minutes later with a piece of paper with an address on it.

_"Thank you."_

_"You're welcome."_

I take he address and make my way back to my truck.

Minutes later I pull into the driveway of the house the mystery girl that now had a name lives. I knock on the door and wait patiently. A few minutes pass with no answer and I turn to walk back to my truck only to spin around to the sound of the door closing behind me and an unfamiliar voice calling my name.

_"Reagan. Wait."_

The girl is now making her way towards me at a fast pace. As my eyes remain locked on her face.

_"Don't go. You need to talk to her."_

_"I know. That's why I'__m here."_

_"Right. Well come inside then. She's in my room sleeping. She cried herself to sleep a couple hours ago. She's heartbroken you know."_

_"I know. I am too."_

I began to follow her into the house. She closes the door behind me and points to a closed door down the hall.

_"She's in there. I'll give you guys space to talk. I should be back in an hour or so. My parents won't be home until tomorrow so you'll have time to figure things out without anyone interrupting."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Don't thank me. I just want my best friend to be happy again and right now you have been what makes her happy."_

_"You don't make her happy?"_

_"Not anymore."_

_"Why?"_

I know I'm crossing the line. I just met this girl hell I haven't even introduced myself and neither has she but I'm curious. What changed from all the pictures until now?

_"That's not for me to tell you. You need to talk to Amy."_

_"I will."_

_"I hope so. Well I should get going and let you two get to it."_

_"Thanks. By the way who exactly are you?"_

_" Karma. Amy hasn't told you about me?"_

_"No."_

_"She hasn't said one word about me?!"_

The anger is evident in her voice and only gets worse as each syllable leaves her mouth.

_"No. Nothing."_

_"Great. Just great. Well it looks like I'm going to have to have a talk with Amy too."_

_"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cause a problem between you two."_

_"It's not your fault. I'm just going to have a long discussion with her when I get back."_

Before I knew it she was storming out the door and having it slam behind her. I walk slowly towards the door Karma pointed to earlier and carefully push it open. I peaked my head through before entering. Amy's laying on the bed in the fetal position. Her eyes are puffy and her cheeks are moist from the tears. I make my way over to her and lay next to her. I wrap my arm around her and pull myself closer so I can feel her body against mine and breathe in her scent. I feel her relax into my touch becoming less tense with every exhale. I lay there enjoying the silence. Enjoying being able to be close to Amy once again but I know this is the calm before the storm and I know I have to wake her. Before I have a chance to wake her, her body shifts and she rolls to face me. Our eyes meet and I can see the sorrow in her eyes.

_"Hi Shrimp Girl."_

_"What are you doing here?"_

_"I missed you and I needed to talk to you and try to explain."_

_"How did you know I was here?"_

_"I went to your house and your mom told me where I could find you."_

_"Where's Karma?"_

_"She had to leave. She wanted to give us some time to talk."_

_"I don't want to talk. You hurt me Reagan."_

_"I know and I'm sorry. I understand if you don't want to talk but can you at least listen?"_

She shakes her head and looks up to me from her position resting on the pillow.

_"I'm sorry that I lied and I'm sorry I went behind your back and talked to your mom. But I'm not sorry for doing it. I'm sorry for how I did it."_

I take a deep breath before continuing.

_"After meeting your mom and looking through the photos I could tell you were keeping something from me. Keeping something hidden. I thought it was something about your dad and I knew you didn't like talking about him so I went to the only person I could."_

She interrupts me and I can hear the hurt in her voice with every word.

_"If you would of asked me I would have told you."_

_"I understand that now but I don't think I could have got the same answer or left with the question I did if I would of asked you. And that's the only reason I'm not sorry for talking to your mom. As for not telling you that I remember you and knowing who you were when we went to Belle's I am sorry but I didn't want to scare you away and as we got closer I didn't want to tell you and fill you with my memories when you have none of your own. I didn't want to give you memories. I wanted you to have memories."_

_"What question?"_

_"What?"_

_"You said you left my house with a question you wouldn't have had if you talked to me."_

_"Amy."_

I close my eyes and take a deep breath.

_"What's the real reason you stopped going to Belle's?"_

She stares at me for a moment not saying a word. She reaches over her body and removes my arm from my embrace before removing herself from the bed. I close my eyes once more trying to hold back the tears that are threatening to break through. I fail to do so as tears began to fall down my face. I don't even notice that Amy has crawled back into bed until I feel her thumb running against my cheek wiping away my tears.

_"Don't cry. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you. I'm mad you talk to my mom and not me but I can't be mad at you for not telling me that you remembered. I understand why you didn't and I'm glad you didn't."_

_"Really? Why?"_

_"If you would have told me from the beginning or before we found that picture I wouldn't have talked to my mom. I wouldn't have found this."_

I looked down at her hand and see a small silver locket in her palm.

_"Amy. Where did you get this?"_

_"You. You gave it to me."_

I look at her taking my eyes off the familiar piece of jewelry to see a soft smile on her face.

_"You gave it to me after you told me I was your best friend. You said as long as I hung onto it you would be a part of my life."_

I smile at her and begin to tear up once again but this time they're happy tears.

_"Well I still have it and I still want you in my life. I'm sorry it took me so long but I remember. I remember everything. So to answer your question, I didn't want to go back to Belle's because I didn't want to lose another person in my life that I cared for. That I loved. Losing my dad hurt me but if I would have lost you it would have destroyed me. So I stopped asking to see you. I didn't want to risk losing you to something other than me. I couldn't have been able to recover if I lost you in another way. A way that wasn't my desicision. A way I couldn't control."_

_"Amy. You wouldn't have lost me."_

_"You don't know that. Besides if we would have stayed friends. If I would have stayed we might not be where we are now. I like where we are now. I like that we found each other again. I like having to get to know you all over again. I like. No. I love that I'm falling for you."_

_"I'm falling for you too and it scare me. I've never fallen this fast for someone. These past two days have been torture. Not being able to talk to you or see you destroyed me. I want you in my life. I need you. I want to be able to see you everyday. Talk to you every hour, every second of the day. And every minute I don't get to do one of those things a part of me breaks. And that scares me even more because I don't know how long it's going to last this time."_

_"I don't know how long it's going to last. I know if we're not together though I still want you in my life. Even if we are just friends. Im not going to let you walk away."_

I stare back at her as her eyes shift down away from mine and watch as she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. I can tell she's hurting but I don't know why.

_"I'm not worried about going anywhere. I want to stay. I want to be with you."_

_"Amy."_

_"Please let me finish."_

_"Okay. Sorry."_

_"I'm worried you're the one thats going to leave. The one thats going to walk away."_

_"Amy. Where's this coming from?"_

_"I need to tell you something but I'm afraid you'll leave once you find out."_

_"Amy. It's going to take a lot for me to want to leave."_

_"Just promise me you'll stay."_

_"I promise."_

_"I'm sorry I ignored you these past few days. I just needed time to myself to think about things._

_"Think about us?"_

_"No. Well sort of, but not in the way you're thinking. I'm not mad at you for not telling me and keeping that you remembered me a secret. I'm mad at myself because I haven't had the guts to tell you mine. Until now. Okay. So a lot has happened over the past ten years. Things that I'm not proud of and things that I didn't exactly plan. But all these things led me to you and for that I'm grateful. But if you're going to be with me and want to be with me I need to be able to tell you this. I need you to know. I don't want anymore secrets between us."_

I reach out and grab her hand letting her know it's okay to continue and reminding her of the fact I'm still there.

_"The girl who let you in. The one whose house this is."_

_"Karma."_

I finish her sentence seeing her struggle to get the name out.

_"Yeah. Karma. You see me and Karma have a complicated relationship. She's been my best friend for ten years. She came into my life after my dad, after Belle's, after you. She's a huge part of my life and if you're going to be with me you have to accept part of me is always going to be hers and with her."_

_"Amy your allowed to have a best friend."_

_"That's the problem. She's more than a best friend."_

_"You two were a couple?"_

_"No. Sort of."_

I drop her hand and just stare at her as the tears begin to form in both our eyes. How could Amy do this. How could she run to her. We get into our first fight and she runs to her ex-girlfriend.

_"We were faking being lesbians to be popular."_

_"You were a fake lesbian?!"_

_"No. No. No Karma was faking. I... I um..."_

_"You're in love with her.__"_

I watch her as her head drops. She looks everywhere except at me. She didn't even have to say anything to give me an answer. It's all over her face. The pictures make so much sense now. It was love. Amy has love for Karma. Even if she didn't admit to herself or to Karma at the time, it's so clear in the photos. That's what made her eyes different, thats what I couldn't quite figure out at the time. Amy loves the girl in the photos, the girl who has been in her life for ten years, the girl who is her best friend, the girl who isn't me. And it's all in Amy's eyes. All right there. Right in front of me. And I can't help but to wonder if this is the reason she kept Karma from me. Why she kept her a secret. Why she never mentioned her. And the more I think the more I know it has to be true. What other reason could there be.

_"That's it I'm leaving."_

_"Reagan don't go."_

_"Sorry Shrimp Girl. Life's to short to chase someone who's chasing someone else."_

_"I'm not in love with Karma anymore."_

_"Then why didn't you tell me about her? I'm sorry. I can't do this if Karma is going to be lingering in the background."_

_"She won't be I promise. I should have told you about Karma. My feelings for her are complicated we have a past but... but I want a future with you. But she's always going to be a part of my life and you've got to be okay with that."_

_"I can't do this. Not now. I'm sorry."_


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry this is a little late. I ran into some personal issues that I needed to handle so I kind of took a break from everything else. My next few chapters might be delayed as well so bare with me. They are coming. I'm not happy with this chapter but I wanted to give you guys something. So let me know what you think. I promise the angst is almost over. So if you're not enjoying it know fluff is in the future. **

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**Amy POV**

She promised. She promised and she still left. I don't blame her but at the same time I don't understand. We weren't together when the stuff with Karma happened. The stuff with Liam. She wasn't even in my life. And the funny thing is if neither of those things happened I never would have even met Reagan. There would have been no interrogation at Liam's. No accidental run in at the movies. There would have been nothing. Faking a relationship with Karma led me to Reagan. Sleeping with Liam led me to Reagan. Everything led me to Reagan. So I don't understand why. Why she had to leave. Why she left without talking.

I try calling only for it to go unanswered. So I try again only for it to go straight to voicemail.

_"Rae. Please pick up. Please come back and talk to me. Karma is always going to be a part of my life but I don't want to be with her like that anymore. She's my past and I... I want a future with you."_

I hang up the phone as tears begin to leave my eyes. Karma was right. It's my turn now. My turn to fight. I reach for my phone one more time only for it to drop from my hands at the sound of Reagan's voice.

_"I didn't leave. I promised I wouldn't remember. I just needed some air. I needed to collect my thoughts."_

_"I thought I lost you."_

_"I just need to know why. Why fake being a lesbian? Why sleep with Liam?"_

_"Karma's my best friend in the whole entire world. I would do anything for her. I love seeing her happy. So one day Shane mistook us for being lesbians and Karma ran with it. She wanted to be popular. She wanted the attention. She wanted Liam. And I just wanted to make her happy so I went along with her plan. It wasn't until we kissed at the assembly that things changed. I realized at that moment I may actually have real feelings for her. I ignored them for a while but they kept growing with every touch of the hand. With every kiss."_

I take a moment for myself to recollect my thoughts and gage Reagan before continuing.

_"I had hope that she felt the same way. Especially when we kissed during a threesome with Liam. Which never actually happened by the way. But I was wrong and she still put all her attention towards him. Then the wedding happened. I thought we were good. I thought she was done with Liam. But I was wrong. During my toast to my mom and Bruce which was more of a speech to Karma he crawled out from a table behind Karma. And I left and ran to my room. Karma came in a few minutes later and she asked. She asked if I had feelings for her. It was the first time in weeks she paid attention to me without it benefiting her popularity. The first time she noticed I could think of her as more than a friend. That night I told her I loved her. That I was in love with her. She didn't feel the same way though and she broke my heart. So I got completely wasted and I slept with Liam."_

_"Do you still love her?"_

_"I'll always have love for Karma but no. Not anymore. Not like that. Not since you."_

_"How do I know you won't do the same thing to me. Karma's your best friend and if you could do something like that to her... how do I know you won't do it to me."_

_"Sleeping with Liam is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made. I regret it for what it's going to do to me and Karma's friendship. I still don't know how to handle it. I still don't know how to tell Karma."_

_"You haven't told Karma?"_

_"No."_

_"You haven't told Karma but you told me." _

_"Yeah."_

_"Why?"_

_"I don't want any secrets between us."_

_"And you want secrets with her?"_

_"No. But I don't know how to tell her. I don't want to lose her."_

_"I'll be there when you tell her if you want."_

_"That would be nice. Thank you. I need you to know I would never do that to you. I don't just regret sleeping with him because of what it's going to do to Karma. I regret it because of me too. I always promised myself... told myself, that my first time was going to be special and with someone I love. And sleeping with him was the furthest thing from that. So after it happened I wished I could have another first time. A re-do. But with someone I love. With someone I'm completely in love with. Someone I want a future with. So I need you to understand and believe me when I say I'm not going to do the same thing to you. The next time I have sex, anytime I have sex it's going to be because I love the person I'm with."_

_"You love Karma or loved Karma. How do I know you won't do the same thing with her. No matter how many times you tell me you don't love her like that, part of me still questions it."_

_"You just have to trust me. Trust us. I wouldn't be with you if I loved someone else. I would never do that to you. I care too much about you, about us, to jeopardize our relationship. I want to be with you 100%. I don't want anyone else. I just want you."_

_"Prove it."_

I'm taken back. How can I prove it? I just told her I only want her. What else can I do to prove to her she's the only one I need. The only one I want.

_"What?"_

_"Prove to me I'm the only one you want."_

_"I just told you I don't want anyone else. I don't know what else to say."_

_"Tell me you love me. Tell me you're in love with me."_

_"I can't do that."_

_"Why?"_

_"I don't want the first time I say that to come out of a fight. To be forced. I want it to be special. I want to remember it and how amazing it was to say it. To hear it. And I don't want this to be that memory."_

I can see the hurt in her eyes. I want to tell her I really do, but not like this. Not now. I'm crazy about her. I love her. I'm in love with her. There's no more falling. I fell. And I fell hard. I'm taken. She's the only one for me. She has my heart and no one else can take it from her. But I can't tell her. Not now. But soon. I don't think I can keep it to myself much longer. She deserves the perfect moment. She doesn't deserve to be told this way. I want more than anything to give that to her. A moment that's perfect.

_"Reagan. I just want it to be perfect. I want it to be special and something we look back on and think fondly of."_

_"Amy it's never going to be perfect. It's never going to be what you picture it to be."_

_"I know that. But I refuse to let it be this moment. I know no matter where or when I say it, it will be perfect because I'm saying it to you. I just want better than this."_

_"Okay."_

_"Okay?"_

_"Yeah. Okay. But I can't wait forever Amy."_

_"I know. Neither can I."_

**Reagan POV**

I know it's bad timing. I know this was probably one of the worst times and places in our relationship to say '_I love you'_ but I just needed to hear that it's coming. I'm glad when I asked she didn't say it. As much as she says I deserve the perfect moment, she deserves it more. And though she didn't say it, I know she wanted to. And as much she would like to have another moment I know I'm going to remember this one, because it's the moment I realized she really does love me. Even though she didn't say it, I could see it. And when the moment does come, I'll have two defining moments in our relationship that I can look back on and know I'm with a girl that loves me with all her heart.


	14. Chapter 14

**Let me first start this off by saying that this story is Reamy Endgame. I don't care about what the teaser for season 2B looks like. I love Reamy therefore this stays Reamy no matter what happens in 2B or season 3. With that being said I hope you continue to read my story. All your reviews, comments, follows and favorites have been amazing. I would like to send a personal thank you to Emotonalminesweeper : your comments have been AMAZING thank you so much for your consistent kind words it means a lot! On a side-note lets take a minute to celebrate we get a season 3! WOOOHOOO! So lets get this story rolling again. I have a lot of chapters in mind that I want to get published before 2B premiers! Remember to review and comment I read everything and I take suggestions!**

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**Karma POV**

I pull up to my house and see Reagan's truck still parked in the same spot as I left it. That must be a good sign. She's still here. They're talking. They're figuring things out. The house is eerie quiet as I make my way to my room. I peek through the door to see Amy and Reagan laying on my bed talking quietly. Their eyes are red and puffy like they just finished crying. So I take a step back and knock before barging in.

_"How's everything going in here?"_

I watch as they both look at each other before Reagan turns to me.

_"Okay. Everything is okay."_

I can tell her words are more for Amy then me so I just nod my head.

_"Do you mind if I talk to Amy for a minute then?"_

_"Anything you want to say to me you can say in front of Reagan."_

_"Amy. I don't think that's a good idea."_

I see Reagan turn to Amy and whisper before Amy responds by saying something inaudible. I don't even think Reagan heard.

_"It's okay Amy. I can give you a minute."_

_"No. I want you to stay. I'm going to need you here when I tell her."_

They stare at one another for a moment before sitting up to face me.

_"Reagan's staying."_

_"Fine. But don't get mad at me if I say something you're not happy with."_

I wait for a response only for Amy to nod back. So I'm taking that as my cue to go ahead.

_"Amy she has no idea who I am. I feel like an idiot! You lied to me. She has no clue I exist."_

_"I didn't know how to tell her. We're best friends were insanely close and oh yeah oh I was in love with you."_

I look to Reagan who seems unfazed while I'm caught by surprise I thought she still loved me.

_"Was. It's great were getting past that."_

_"I know and it's because of Reagan. I really like her. And I didn't want to scare her away. I was going to tell her eventually."_

_"You've always said our friendship comes first."_

_"It does. That's what makes this so hard. What makes this so difficult to tell you."_

_"Tell me what?"_

_"The night I told you that I love you I did something really stupid and it was the biggest mistake I've ever made. I was hurt and I got really drunk and I did the one thing that you would never forgive me for."_

I watch her as tears begin to stream from her eyes and her voice becomes heavy. My mind is racing trying to figure out what she's going to see before escapes her.

_"I... I slept with Liam."_

I'm stunned I can't form words as anger and hurt build inside me. I state at her as tears pour out my eyes. How could she do this? How could she sleep with him? Out of everyone why did she pick him? Why did she sleep with him right after she told me she loved me? I close my eyes trying to pretend what she told me never happened. Trying to pretend my Amy is still the person I thought she was but I'm brought back to reality at the sound of her voice.

_"Karma I'm so sorry. I never wanted..."_

_"Get out!"_

_"Karma. Please."_

_"Get out! I hate you. I hate you for doing this."_

She continues to beg but I can't hear it anymore. I can't look at her right now.

_"Get the fuck out of my room. Get out of my house. Get out of my life."_

_"You don't mean that."_

_"Leave. Now."_

She doesn't move. She just stands there with tear stained cheeks. I can tell she doesn't want to leave. I can tell she knows what would happen if she walks out the door. I watch as Reagan gets off the bed and walks towards her. She wraps her arms around Amy and I watch is Amy falls apart in them. I watches Amy breaks and I know I'm minutes, seconds away from doing the same thing. I watch as Reagan pulls Amy off her chest but still doesn't let go of her. They stare at each other a minute before Reagan drops Amy's hand and moves her own hand to Amy's cheek wiping away some of the tears with her thumb. I'm glad Reagan's here. I'm glad she stayed for Amy. I'm glad she's here for the both of us because if she wasn't here... if she wasn't here to comfort Amy to calm her down... if she wasn't here I don't know what I would have done. Reagan being here stopped me from saying things I would regret, stopped me from reacting. So as Reagan began to pull Amy towards the door I was thankful.

How could she do this to me? I thought she loved me. I thought she would never hurt me. Sure we've had our fights but I don't think we can get past this one and if we do I don't know if we ever can get back to what we used to be. I know the ball is in my court and I'm the one that chooses to keep her in my life or walk away and not look back. And right now I'm not sure what I want to do. Amy is the one person in my life I thought I could trust and now I have to rethink our entire relationship. I have to see if I can have a life without her in it. I have to see if she will fight for our friendship because at this point I don't know if I want to fight for it. I know Liam hasn't been in my life long and we weren't technically together at the time so maybe I should hear Amy out. Maybe I should give her a chance to talk and explain. For now though I need to hate her. I need to be mad. I need to not talk to her. At least until I'm ready.

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**I hope you liked it. I really struggled with this chapter I'm not a big fan of Karma so I always have difficulties when it comes to writing her POVs but I find it necessary to include them once in a while after all Amy isn't Amy without Karma.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry this took so long. Its been a rough month but hopefully I can get back to posting regularly. I really struggled with this chapter and I ended up re-writing it like three or four times so I hope you like the end result. Your comments, follows and favorites have been incredible and it means the world to me that so many are reading what I'm writing and are actually enjoying it. I also know the Reamy relationship has been moving rather slow so over the next few chapters the time frame of their relationship will pick up. With that being said I hope you enjoy!**

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**Amy POV**

I try calling. I try but it goes straight to voicemail.

_"Karma please pick up. I can explain. Let me try to fix this. Fix us."_

I hang up and try again hoping something changed over the last few seconds but it hasn't and I'm put straight to her voicemail yet again.

_"Karma. I'm so sorry. Please don't let this be the end. Don't let this be how we end."_

I keep calling. Even though she's not answering I keep trying in the hopes she will. Hours drift by and I'm losing hope. This could be the end. I drop the phone on my bed and close my eyes accepting that I lost her. I lost Karma. The only thing that is keeping me up, the only thing that is keeping me from breaking more is the fact Reagan is here.

_"Still no answer?"_

_"No. I don't know what to do. I can't lose her. She has to let me explain."_

_"You won't lose her. She loves you too much to just let you disappear out of her life. She just needs some time. She needs to process everything."_

_"I'm afraid if I give her more time she'll forget about me. Forget about our friendship."_

_"She won't. I promise."_

_"How do you know?"_

_"Because you're unforgettable. It's impossible to forget that you exist. You're a necessity. Her world, my world wouldn't be complete if you weren't in them."_

_"I'm scared she'll never speak to me again."_

_"Then keep trying. Don't stop fighting. She's bound to pick up sooner or later. Try one more time and if she doesn't pick up we will try again tomorrow."_

I nod my head and grab my phone one more time. The ringing is becoming so familiar now. I don't even notice when it stops.

_"Karma? Please say something. Anything."_

All I hear is silence before the phone cuts off.

_"Any luck?"_

_"No. What if she never talks to me again."_

_"She will. Come on let's get some sleep. You can try again tomorrow."_

I don't say anything and just follow her to my bed. I don't even want to sleep I just want to keep trying but I know if I don't lay in bed with Reagan and try to distract myself my mind will only wander. As I lay there with my head resting on Reagan's chest I can't help but to take in the smell of her perfume and to be calmed be the sound of her heartbeat. Reagan and Reagan alone is the only thing keeping me together. She is the only thing that is giving me hope. She is the only thing making me feel better.

As the light shines through the window the next day I know I'm going to have many more nights like this. Ones with Reagan by my side. Ones without sleep. Ones without knowing where my friendship with Karma stands. I look to Reagan who is still sleeping so I decide to try calling Karma. When the call goes unanswered it's at that moment I know I may have really lost her. We've never gone hours without talking. Even after huge fights in the past we've only made it as far as three hours without talking or texting and it's already been 24 hours.

Hours turn to days and days turn to weeks and Karma still is ignoring my phone calls and keeping her distance from me at school. I don't know how much longer I can last. I've given her space. I've cut down my phone calls. I don't know what else I can do besides giving up completely and that just isn't an option. If she doesn't respond soon the weeks are going to turn to months and that just isn't as option. So I have to take drastic measures. If she doesn't answer I'm going to give her no other choice and I'm going to show up at her doorstep.

_"Trying Karma again?"_

_"Yeah. It's going to be the last time though. If she doesn't answer I'm taking matters into my own hands. I can't just keep waiting on her. If I want her in my life I have to fight a little harder."_

Alright here we go again. Dial tone.

_"Any luck?"_

_"No. It just keeps ringin... Karma? Are you there?"_

_"I hate you."_

_"Karma please just give me a minute so I can explain."_

_"Fine. Meet me at my house in ten minutes and don't bring Reagan."_

Before I could even respond she hung up the phone.

_"I have to go. She's letting me explain."_

_"I'll come with you."_

_"No. She said I can't bring you. I need you to stay here. I need you here when I come back. She's right I need to do this by myself."_

_"Okay. I'll be here. I'll stay as long as you need me."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Amy I'll do anything for you. Now go to Karma before she changes her mind."_

_"I'll be back soon. Something tells me I won't be staying long."_

_"Go. I'll see you when you get back. I promise I'll be right here waiting."_

Ten minutes. Ten minutes is all I have to get to Karmas and I'm running. I'm running like my life depends on it and in a way it does. Karma is my life or at least a big portion of it. When I reach her house I'm out of breath and I take a minute to collect myself before knocking. It feels so weird knocking. I haven't knocked in years. But I know under the circumstances I need to knock. I need to announce my presence. I need to let her let me in. A few minutes pass before the door finally opened and I see Karma's mom standing there.

_"Amy sweetie. Come in Karma is in the living room."_

_"Thank you."_

_"Karma. Amy's here."_

_"Hi Karma."_

_"Hi."_

_"I'll give you girls a few minutes."_

_"No. Stay. I want you to listen to what Amy has to say. I want a witness."_

_"Okay. Let me just say this is a safe place and..."_

_"Mom! Just sit down and listen to what this slut has to say."_

_"Karma. Don't you think you're being a little harsh?"_

_"A little harsh. A little harsh!"_

_"I just think you should give her a chance to explain."_

_"Oh. Okay. Amy! Please explain to me how you could have sex with my boyfriend and then lie to my face about it for weeks."_

_"Amy. You had sex with a boy?"_

_"Focus on the crushing betrayal. You did the one thing you knew I could never forgive. You left me no choice but to hate you and I hate you for that!"_

_"Karma I'm so sorry... I... Okay you don't have to hate me. It's not as bad as it sounds."_

_"No. I want to hear how sleeping with the boyfriend of your best friend in the entire world is not as bad as it sounds! But when you're done, if I'm not convinced you have to transfer schools because I never want to see your fucking face ever again! You have 60 seconds."_

_"Just to be clear I'm not interested in Liam. I only slept with him because I wanted to hurt you in the worse way possible. Remember when you saved up all your money to buy that Cinderella dress and you kept it in my room so that your mom wouldn't see it?"_

_"Karma!"_

_"Wow. I'm really screwing this up. My point is, you were always fantasizing about meeting your Prince Charming and I was happy just to share a cardboard castle with you. And it wasn't until we kissed in the gym that I realized why. I've been in love with you since the day we met. And suddenly we were pretending to be a couple and there was hand holding and kissing and threesomes. I started to have hope. Hope that you were realizing that your Prince Charming was Princess Sarcasm. But when that hope died my heart broke and I was hurt and angry and I just wanted to cause you pain. And then I got drunk and Liam was there like a human sledgehammer. Then I sobered up and I knew I made the biggest mistake of my life and I knew if you found out this would happen. The you hating me part."_

_"Times up."_

_"Screw the time. You said we can get through anything! Please just give me a chance to earn your trust back!"_

Silence was all that there was between us so I had to do something. Pulling her half of the best friends necklace out of my pocket I walked to the kitchen and held it over the garbage disposal.

_"This is it. This is where you decide whether or not I'll be in your life anymore."_

I can feel the chain slip through my fingers as the silence between us grows. This could be the end. And it's becoming real as the chain is one drop away from being destroyed.

"Wait."

Thank god. I was not ready to let that necklace leave my fingers. I walk over to Karma with tears in my eyes and she meets me with the same expression. I hold the necklace in my hand tightly not wanting to let go until I open it to show Karma.

_"Do you want this back?"_

She shakes her head and I open the clasp to put it back around her neck where it belongs only for her to stop me.

_"But I'm not ready to wear it yet."_

Okay. She won't wear it but at least she wants it. She wants me. I can accept that for now.

_"So you girls are okay now?"_

I turn to Karma not sure of the answer myself.

_"Yeah. For right now I think we are."_

_"Okay I'll leave you two alone then."_

We watch as Karmas mom exits the room before she turns to me again.

_"It's Friday night don't you have plans with Reagan?"_

_"Yeah. She's at my house waiting for me."_

_"Go."_

_"You're more important."_

_"I know. But I'll be here when you get back."_

_"I'll call you tonight."_

_"Okay. I promise I'll answer."_

I walk toward her and give her a hug. I don't want to let go. I just want to stay here hugging her all night to make up for lost time.

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too."_

_"You promise you'll be here. I won't let go until you promise we're okay."_

_"I promise. I'm not ready to live without you. I want us to make it through things that are meant to tear us apart and this is one of those things. So I promise I'm not going anywhere."_

_"You think we can make it through this?"_

_"If anyone can I know it will be us. We've been through to much to let a boy come between us. Now go to Reagan. I'm sure she's worried."_

I separate from her reluctantly and make my way to the door. I know we are okay but I also know we have a long way to go before we are 'us' again.

_"I love you."_

_"I love you too. Now go to Reagan. I promise I'm fine."_

_"Okay. I'll call you later."_

_"I'll be waiting."_

Moments later I find myself in front of my bedroom door with the biggest smile on my face. Things are finally starting to look up for me. As I walk in my room I see Reagan curled up in a ball fast asleep on my bed. I walk up and lay behind her wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling myself closer to her so that my chest presses against her back. As my eyes began to close I could feel Reagan move herself closer to me before she attempted to speak while half asleep.

_"How'd it go."_

_"It went okay. I think we're going to be okay."_

_"I'm glad."_

With that I close my eyes and begin to drift off to sleep only to be stopped by Reagan's voice once again. She always says the weirdest things while she's in her state of being awake yet still sleeping.

_"Hey Amy?"_

_"Yeah Rea?"_

_"I love you."_

And with those three little words my eyes shoot open. Reagan just told me she loved me. Reagan loves me. Does she even realize what she just said? I peek over her shoulder and see her eyes closed tightly and hear her steady breathing. Yep she's sleeping but she said it! She said she loves me but I didn't say it back. I told Reagan the next person I want to be with I want to love and be in love with and right now in this moment I'm questioning if I'm there. There's a big difference between '_I love you'_ and _'I'm in love with you'_ in my opinion so I wonder which one Reagan wanted to say if she actually wanted to say either of them. So here I am laying in bed spending yet another sleepless night thinking about one the most important girls in my life and what's going to become of our relationship.

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**Well I hope you liked it. Please leave feedback I would love to hear your opinion or to hear suggestions of where you would like to see Reamy go in future chapters. xoxoxo**


	16. Chapter 16

**Karma POV**

I wasn't lying to Amy when I said I want to move past this whole Liam thing but part of me can't help but to look at Amy differently. She a different person now. She's not my Amy anymore. And as much as I want to move forward I know it's not going to be the same. The truth is, during the weeks that I ignored Amy and wanted to hate Amy all I could do was think about her. And after today how could I not. She's loved me since day one and I've never noticed. I'm her best friend in the whole entire world. I'm supposed to know her better than she knows herself. I should have noticed even if Amy never would have. Looking back the signs where there. The long stares, the touches where her fingers lingered longer than what they should have, the conversations about boys that would abruptly stop when asking if she likes anybody. I guess I just pushed it aside and told myself 'We're best friends. This is what best friends are supposed to do' I mean it wasn't false. Best friends did do those things. I do those things. But I never thought about why until today. This is the second time Amy has told me she loves me but it's the first time I've realized I may have the same feelings. I never would have thought in a million years that I would be falling for a girl let alone Amy. I've always fantasized about my Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet. I never pictured that Amy would be the one doing the sweeping. But I can't tell her. At least not now. I need to figure my feelings out myself before I tell Amy. I can't get her hopes up. I can't break her heart again.

**Reagan POV**

Amy doesn't know but every time I've stayed with her I've been up all night to make sure she's okay because I know she hasn't been sleeping in the weeks that followed the fight between her and Karma. So when Karma finally picked up I was relieved that Amy could finally explain what happened. I'm relieved Amy can finally put all this behind her. Part of me is also relieved that we can finally get some sleep. I'm thankful Karma finally answered because if she wasn't going to answer soon I was ready to take matters into my own hands and pull a Shane and kidnap her and throw her in my truck. So I watch as Amy runs down the street to Karmas house and I wish I could be by her side but I know she has to do this by herself. I know I'm more help to her here then to follow her because if I went with her I would give Karma a piece of my mind for what she's put Amy through the past few weeks. So I'll gladly wait for Amy to come home to me. I would wait for Amy anywhere for any amount of time. So as I sit here and watch the seconds and minutes pass by I know she'll return to me so I allow myself to fall asleep. I feel at home in Amy's bed and I wish I could spend every night falling asleep with her wrapped between my arms and wake every morning with her hair tossed in my face and her fingers entwined with mine. I know that, that will never happen though. Amy isn't ready for that step in the relationship yet and I don't want to push her no matter how ready I am. I want to move at the pace Amy wants to move because I don't want to risk losing her. I don't want to scare her away by moving to fast. So as I drift off to sleep I'll allow myself to dream of the future I want with Amy even if it may never come.

My eyes crack open at the sound of Amy opening her bedroom door. How long was I sleeping? I glance at the clock and I've only been sleeping thirty minutes. That means Amy was at least at Karmas ten minutes. I hope that was enough time. I let my eyes close yet again when I feel Amy crawl behind me and wrap her arms around my waist. I'm afraid to ask how it went but I know I need to. Even though I'm half asleep I know I need to ask. And when I hear Amy say it went well I'm relieved. Things can finally get back to normal. Things can finally start moving forward between me and Amy. I feel like we've been in a stand still since the whole Liam bomb dropped. And it's not because of Liam it's because Amy was only focused on fixing her relationship with Karma. Everything always comes back to Karma. Everything always has to revolve around her even if it has nothing to do with her. So now that we're back to good I'm ready to take that step forward. So when I feel Amy nestle against me once again I let the three little words I've kept trapped for so long loose. I know it's not ideal to tell the girl you're dating that you love them while half asleep but I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to tell her. But when I don't hear anything back part of me regrets saying it and I begin to hope Amy fell asleep before the words escaped their cage. But when I feel her move I know she heard. I know without a doubt she knows exactly what I said. So I do the only thing I can think of and pretend to be sleeping.

Maybe it is too soon to tell her. Maybe she's not ready. Maybe I just ruined the best thing in my life right now. I guess I'll just have to wait. No matter how long it takes for her to respond I'll wait. I just hope it's sooner rather than later. I guess I'll just have to wait and see what tomorrow brings.

* * *

**sorry this is so short I needed a filler chapter before I get to the next chapter to show where everyone is at. I promise the next chapter will have loads of adorable Reamy moments. (At least I hope you think they are adorable)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Amy POV**

Things are finally looking up for me. Karma and I are slowly getting back to normal. It took a couple months but I'm glad we're finally getting there. We still have a long way to go but at least we're moving in the right direction. Reagan and I on the other hand have been stagnant and I know it's because of me. I feel like Ive been holding Reagan back. Holding us back. We've been together a little over two months and I have not yet given Reagan more indication of how I feel. The last conversation I had with her about it was when she found out about Karma and about Liam. I really do love her and want to take the next step in our relationship I just haven't told her yet. I'm not entirely to blame for us not moving forward though. I mean it's not like Reagan has told me she loves me again. She hasn't even brought up the fact that she said it.

We're supposed to have a date tonight and I asked Reagan if I could plan it. She normally is the one who plans our dates but I want to make this one special. I want to surprise her. I want to show her how much I love her. I want to tell her that I love her. That I'm in love with her. Which brings me here laying in my bed trying to figure out what to do. I want the night to be perfect. Reagan deserves to have the perfect night. I just have to figure out how to give it to her. I have to figure out how to surprise her considering she's the one who will be driving.

After a few hours of thinking it hits me. I just hope I have enough time to pull it off. First things first I have to call Reagan and let her know to not come outside while I work in her truck.

_"Okay so I need you to unlock your truck for me and don't come outside until I say so."_

_"Hello to you too."_

_"Sorry. Hi Rea. I'm just trying to get everything ready for tonight and I want it to be a surprise."_

_"It's okay. Consider the truck unlocked and me locked in the apartment until further notice."_

_"Thank_ _you! You're the best! I can't wait for you to see what I have planned!"_

_"Me either! I'll see you tonight okay. I have to get going I have some last minute things to get done before tonight."_

_"See you tonight."_

Okay step one done. Step two: get to Reagan's and set everything up. Reagan only lives ten minutes away by driving so it should take me about thirty minutes to walk there and that's cutting it really close. If I'm going to pull this off I'm going to need help. I need reinforcements. I need Shane.

_"Shane. I need your help with Reagan. I want to make tonight perfect and I need as much help as I can get."_

_"I don't know how much I can help you with tonight but my mom sells sex toys in her car and I can get you a discount if that helps."_

_"No! Not that kind of help. We haven't even had sex yet."_

_"You haven't slept with her yet?"_

_"No. I don't want to rush anything and I want to make sure I love her before I sleep with her."_

_"Well at least you're not the stereotypical lesbian that rushes into things."_

_"So will you help me?"_

_"Of course! What can I do?"_

_"First off I need your car. Second I need as many pillows and blankets as you can get."_

_"Done and done. When do you want me to come over?"_

_"Around three would be perfect."_

_"Okay see you then!"_

After hanging up the phone I start to gather my own pillows and blankets and a couple extra odds and ends. When Shane finally gets to my house (fashionable late of course) we load his car and head to Reagans. I have him pull up to Reagan's truck and we start setting everything up. It's honestly taking less time than I thought it would and everything looks perfect. I just have to run home and grab a few things and finish getting ready. I decide to send Shane home and opt to walk to Reagan's to pick her up for our date. I've never been so nervous. When I get to her apartment and knock on the door I'm taken back by the girl standing on the other side. How can anyone look so incredible in skinny jeans and a tank top is beyond me but Reagan looks gorgeous and I can't stop smiling.

**Reagan POV**

I haven't heard from Amy since this morning. So I have no idea what she has planned for tonight. I have no clue when she's going to come over. I have no clue what to wear. She's left me completely in the dark. I look at the clock for what feels like the hundredth time today when I hear a knock at the door.

I open the door to see Amy standing there. She greets me with the biggest grin. I haven't seen her smile like that for weeks.

_"Are you ready?"_

_"Amy I'm not even dressed. I don't have any makeup on. My hair is a mess."_

I don't even have time to form the next sentence when Amy moves across the threshold and presses her lips against mine causing me to fall back a little. She pulls away slightly just so her lips are hovering over mine. Letting out a whisper that sends small vibrations to my lips. She leaves me completely dazed as she pulls away.

"_You look perfect."_

When I finally open my eyes I find Amy staring at me and holding something in her hand.

_"Put this on."_

It takes me a minute to realize it's a blindfold.

_"Amy I have to be able to see if I'm driving."_

_"I know it's just until we get into the truck. I don't want you to see what I planned until we get there."_

_"And where exactly are we going?"_

_"It's a surprise! Now please put the blindfold on so we can get going."_

I grab the blindfold and wrap it around my eyes and turn around so Amy can tie it. When she's done her hands slowly move down my neck slowly making there way down my back to finally rest around my waist. I feel her body press against mine as she leans in and trails kisses from my shoulder, to my neck, to my cheek. I know where her end goal is so I begin to turn my body to face her as she catches my lips in the process. I've never seen Amy like this. She has so much desire. So much need for touch. I can get use to this side of her. We don't break the kiss as Amy begins to pull me out of the apartment. I quickly feel for me keys and close the door behind us before finally separating.

_"What has gotten into you today?"_

_"What? I can't kiss my incredibly sexy girlfriend?"_

_"I'm not complaining. I've just never seen you like this."_

_"And you still can't. You're wearing a blindfold remember."_

_"You know what I mean."_

_"I just missed you is all. I couldn't wait to get here so I can show you what I have planned."_

_"Let's go then. I want to take this thing off as soon as possible."_

With that Amy takes my hand and slowly leads me to my truck. Once inside she gives me permission to take off the fabric obstructing my vision and I do as I'm told.

_"So where are we going?"_

_"I'll give you directions. It's not exactly a place that you can just type into your GPS and go to."_

_"Okay then. Lead the way."_

I follow the directions Amy gives me but I feel like we're lost. I haven't seen any form of civilization for miles. She says we're getting close when we pull down an old dirt road that hasn't looked like it's been driven on in years.

_"Just one more turn and were there."_

Where she tells me turn isn't even a road it's just an opening between the trees just wide enough for my truck to fit through. My mouth goes dry when I see what's on the other side of the trees. I've never seen such a beautiful view. It's breathtaking.

_"We're here!"_

_"What is this place?"_

_"This is my special place. I come here to just think and relax. To get away from everything. Everyone. I've never shown this to anyone. It's always been mine."_

_"Why did you bring me here then?"_

_"I wanted to share it with you. I wanted us to have a place we can escape to together. A place that we can call ours."_

_"It's perfect."_

_"Come on. This isn't it. I have something else to show you."_

I watch as Amy leaves the truck and walks to my door. I open it and she takes my hand telling me to close my eyes. She leads me to the back of my truck before telling me to open them and when I do I'm taken back by what I see. She's made our own little bed in the back of the truck. Full of blankets and pillows.

_"Surprise! I thought we could lay down and watch the sunset then sit and look at the stars."_

_"That sounds perfect! How'd did you come up with this?"_

_"It just came to me while I was laying in my bed staring up at my ceiling. I wanted to make it special and do something you probably haven't done. I wanted it to be perfect."_

_"I can't imagine a more perfect date."_

Amy really has thought of everything. She brought us dinner, dessert, a hoodie in case I got cold. Laying here with Amy is absolutely amazing. It's so peaceful here. I still can't believe she found this place. After watching the sunset we both laid back in the truck and stared up at the sky. I've never seen so many stars. I'm not an astronomer or anything but I start pointing things out to Amy. I remember my dad telling me stories about some of the constellations when I was younger so I'm using that to my advantage.

_"That one over there is Cassiopeia. She bragged of her beauty to everyone. Saying her and her daughter Andromeda were the most beautiful. Poseidon didn't like that she was claiming to be the most beautiful so he sent a sea monster to kill Andromeda. At the last minute though she was saved and Poseidon didn't like that. So as punishment he set Cassiopeia to the stars to live part of her life upside down."_

_"How do you know all this?"_

_"My dad use to tell me stories when I was younger. Cassiopeia was always my favorite one to hear."_

_"Do you know any others?"_

_"A few."_

_"Okay. What's that one?"_

_"Which one?"_

_"That really bright one."_

I follow her finger up to the night sky and realize what she's pointing at.

_"That's the North Star."_

_"Oh. I hate the North Star."_

_"Whys that? It's supposed to help you if you get lost. It's supposed to bring you home."_

_"I understand that but everyone is always talking about the North Star and how they like finding it and how it's one of their favorite stars. I'd rather find a shooting star. They're just so much more interesting. They're more beautiful."_

_"I never thought of it that way."_

We sit in silence for the next hour or so when Amy lifts her head off my chest and sits up. She looks at me with a worried look and I can't help but wonder if something's wrong.

_"Hey. Are you okay?"_

_"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm just thinking about us."_

_"What about us?"_

_"Do you remember when we were little and every time I came to Belle's you would have something for me?"_

_"Of course. You said your mom kept everything and that you have it all in a shoebox in your room."_

_"Yeah...well I was going through it and I realized something."_

_"It's not something bad I hope."_

_"Sorta."_

_"Okay... What is it?"_

_"I realized throughout our entire friendship and relationship I've never given you anything. I have a whole shoebox full of pieces of you and pieces of us and I realized you don't have that. And I want to change that. Which is why I got you this."_

I watch Amy as she pulls a small box out from behind the pillow.

_"Amy you don't have to give me anything. I have you. I don't need a shoebox that has small pieces of you and of us. You're the only piece I need. The only piece I want."_

_"I know I don't have to. I want to. I know that's cliche but I don't know how else to say it."_

She places the box on my chest as I begin to sit up causing it to fall in my lap.

_"Before you open it though there's something I need to say or tell you I guess. So here it goes. You remember the night I talked to Karma and finally got our friendship back on track?"_

She pauses and looks to me for a response. I nod at her knowing I know exactly what day she's talking about.

_"When I got home that day to find you sleeping in my bed I felt like I was finally home. I knew when I crawled in the bed and laid next to you it was exactly where I belonged. It was exactly where I needed to be. Exactly where I wanted to be. And as I was about to fall asleep you told me that you love me."_

I bow my head as the events of that day play back in my mind.

_"I stayed up all night repeating what you said. You told me you loved me and it was...perfect. I couldn't have imagined it any other way. I know you haven't said it since and honestly, I don't care because once was enough. But since that night I've been racking my brain trying to figure out how to give you the perfect moment. Which brings me to the box. While going through past memories I remembered the locket you gave and how you said as long as I had it you would be part of my life. You made the commitment back then to be with me but I never gave you the same. Which is why I got you this."_

I watch as she opens the box in my hand and pulls out a locket identical to the one I gave her at Belle's so many years ago.

_"Amy. I can't take this. I gave this to you."_

_"No you didn't. Mine is right here."_

I watch her as she pulls it out from around her neck.

_"I've never taken mine off since I've found it."_

_"How'd you find this it's identical to yours?"_

_"I had a little help from your mom actually."_

_"It's beautiful. Thank you."_

I lean towards Amy and kiss her but she's not kissing back and I can tell something is off. When I pull away Amy just stares back at me with a look I've never seen before.

_"Can you put it on me?"_

_"Of course. But just one minute I'm not done with what I need to say. You gave me a promise with your locket and I want to do the same. As long as you have this I promise to be part of your life. No matter what role you want me to play I promise I'll always be here. I don't want to ever learn what life is like without you. I love you. I am in love with you and..."_

I cut her off and press my lips against hers. This time she kisses back. I feel all my worries disappear as Amy pulls me closer. When we finally break for air I look at Amy and I recognize the look on her face now. I don't know how I didn't see it before. When I look at her I see the face that was captured in the picture of us so many years ago. The one that's different then the one she gives Karma. The one I finally understand and love. I know now more than ever that I love this girl. I don't even know if it's possible but I love her more now than when I first told her. So I let the words slip out of my mouth once again.

_"I love you too Amy."_

And as soon as her name leaves my lips I find Amy there. She pulls me flush against her body and begins to lower me so I'm laying on my back. The kiss quickly escalades as her hands find their way down my torso and underneath my shirt.

I try to speak but Amy is cutting me off at every word. I know she said the next time she would have sex was when she was in love. And I know she just told me that she loves me but I know she's not ready and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm not ready either.

_"Amy...we...need...to...stop."_

_"No stopping."_

I reach under my shirt and pull her hand down. I know if I say she's not ready she'll argue with me and she would inevitably win. So I have to be the one who wants to wait.

_"Amy as much as I would love to continue what we were doing here we need to stop."_

_"You don't want to sleep with me?"_

_"No. I do. It's just that you just told me that you loved me. I want to just enjoy being in love with you before we complicate things with sex."_

_"How will things get complicated if we both love each other?"_

_"It's not that things will necessarily get more complicated it's that if we have sex now thats all we're going to remember about tonight and I don't want that. I want to remember tonight as the day you told me that you loved me. Plus if we start having sex now I'm never going to be able to stop. I won't be able to keep my hands off you."_

_"And what's so bad about that?"_

_"Nothing. I just... I never thought I would be the one saying this but I want to wait."_

_"You want to wait?"_

_"I do."_

_"Okay. We'll wait then."_

And as quickly as the conversation started it ended. I meant what I told Amy. I do want to sleep with her but right now just isn't the right time. We need to just enjoy being in love and when the time comes that we do have sex I know without a doubt in my mind it will be perfect and we would be grateful we waited.


	18. Chapter 18

**Sorry that this took so long. Ive been suffering from major writers block. Ive kind of been all over the place with ideas and chapters and I'm trying to get everything in an order that I think would make sense. So please bear with me! Thank you again for all your PMs, reviews, comments, favorites and follows. It means the world to me that so many people are enjoying my story. I hope you enjoy this chapter. I always have a difficult time when it comes to Karma's POV so hopefully ****you'll like it. Thank you again and I promise I'll try to update soon!**

*****On a sidenote the rating of this story has been changed to M due to adult language and content to come in future chapters (just wanted to give you a heads up and make you aware). The summary has also been changed because I have a better understanding of where I want to take things and I feel the story has evolved since I first wrote it.**

**Karma POV**

Today is the day. The day I'm going to tell Amy how I feel. It's been a little over a month since Amy confessed her love for me for the second time and I'm finally ready to tell her I feel the same way. I know she's with Reagan and things seem to be moving well with them but I can't hold this in anymore. I need to tell her. I need her to know. She deserves to know.

_"Hey. What are you doing tonight?"_

_"Nothing why?"_

_"I was hoping we can reinstate movie night or binge watch 'House Hunters'."_

_"Yeah. That sounds nice. Reagan's working tonight so it will help me keep my mind off her."_

Ahhh. Why did she have to bring up Reagan. I don't want to hang out with Amy if she's only using me to get her mind off of her. But I get to see her and that's what counts.

_"Good because I'm outside your front door."_

_"Come on in. I'm in my room."_

_"Okay. I'm on my way up."_

I hang up the phone and make my way up the stairs. Amy has her door closed and I slowly push it open not knowing what's going to be behind it. Amy never has her door closed when she's home alone. She never has her door closed when she knows I'm coming over. When the door finally opens I'm left standing there speechless with my mouth parted open. Amy is just standing there in a bra and her underwear.

_"Karma...Karma? Hello earth to Karma!"_

_"Sorry. I zoned out there for a minute."_

_"I know. You've been doing that a lot lately. Are you okay?"_

'Of course I'm not okay! I'm completely in love with you and I haven't told you yet and you're just standing there looking incredibly sexy and I'm just thinking about what I want to do to you.' Is what I should say. Is what I wish I could say. God I wish I could just run up to her and throw her on the bed and make her as wet as she's making me right now.

_"KARMA!"_

_"Sorry. Yeah. I'm fine."_

_"So what are we watching? I have my laptop set up on the bed."_

_"Actually I was hoping we could go to my house for movie night this time."_

_"But we never do that. We always sit on my bed, cuddle and bicker back and forth about what to watch until we settle on 'House Hunters' or hate watch 'Twilight'"_

_"I know and don't get me wrong I love doing that but I want to switch it up a little. We still can cuddle and I'm all in for hate watching 'Twilight' I just want to do at my house for a change."_

Truth is I just want to be at my house, in my room in case she rejects me. I can't handle walking home right after my heart has been ripped out of my chest.

_"Okay. Let me just change."_

_"Perfect! Hurry up though I have a lot planned for us."_

I watched her as she disappeared into the bathroom with a handful of clothes. I watched her through the crack of the door. She looks so beautiful and it kills me that she doesn't think so.

_"Come on! Hurry up Amy!"_

_"Chill. I'm almost done."_

A moment later she emerges in her bacon sweats and donut t-shirt. How anybody can look sexy in food themed clothes and sweats is beyond me but Amy can pull it off and she looks sexy.

_"Let me just grab my phone in case Reagan calls. Then we can go."_

I quickly grab her phone from the nightstand before she can get to it.

_"No phones tonight. No Reagan. No Liam. I want your full undivided attention. Just us. Like it use to be."_

She whimpers before giving up knowing full well she won't win.

"_Fine. Can we at least bring it to your house?"_

_"Ok. But it's staying on silent and far away from your prying eyes."_

_"Deal."_

I hand her, her phone and in the process grab her hand and start leading her down the steps and out the door.

We're about three hours into our Rachel McAdams movie marathon and I just can't hold it in anymore. All these romantic movies are really taking their toll on me.

_"Amy I need to tell you something."_

I get no response she's just sitting there texting Reagan. Yeah Reagan. I broke down and ended up giving her, her phone back about half way through '_The Time_ _Travelers Wife'_ and I regret it now more than ever.

_"Amy?! Hello! I'm trying to tell you something important here. Something life changing."_

_"What? Oh. Yeah. Sorry. What were you saying?"_

_"Why are you so attached to that thing now? You never cared about your phone."_

_"I'm just texting Reagan. We haven't stopped talking since last night minus the two hours you hijacked my phone."_

_"What could you possibly be talking about? You've been ignoring me this whole time."_

She drops her phone and looks at me for the first time since she got her phone back. She has the biggest smile on her face.

_"Reagan told me that she loves me last night. Well she told me like a month ago but she said it again last night and I said it back. I love Reagan. I'm in love with Reagan and it feels amazing to say it and have the feelings..."_

_"Reciprocated."_

_"Yeah. I mean it's a big deal. I never thought I could get past loving you. I never thought I could love anyone as much as I love you. But now I have her and the awkwardness between us can go away because you don't have to worry about me being in love with you. We can get back to normal get back to being us."_

'I want the awkwardness. I don't want to go back. I want us to be an _us_. I want to be with you.' Ahhh. I wish I could just tell her. I know I can't now though. She's happy. Reagan makes her happy. For once in my life I need to put her before me and what I want. I had my chance. I missed my opportunity. At least for now. I've never seen Amy like this and I don't want to take it away from her. So for know I'll wait and I'll do my best to act happy and supportive.

_"That's great Amy. I'm happy for you."_

_"Really? Because I was nervous about telling you."_

_"Yeah. I'm fine. I'm glad you found someone who makes you happy."_

I hope she can't detect the pain and sadness in my voice and judging by her face right now I know she doesn't.

_"You should go be with her."_

_"I don't want to ruin our movie night. Plus you said you have something to tell me. I think the words 'life changing' were used."_

_"Don't worry about it. It can wait. Go be with your girl."_

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yeah. I forgot I promised my mom I'd help with the juice truck anyways."_

I lied. I just can't bear to watch one more romantic movie with Amy knowing I can't have that with her. I can't have her next to me right now when all I want to do is hold her and kiss her.

"I can wait."

_"Go."_

_"What?"_

_"Go to her."_

_"I want to be here with you though."_

_"Amy you haven't been here since you walked in the door. Now go. We'll have another movie night. Go be with Reagan."_

_"Are you sure?"_

God if she asks me if _'I'm sure'_ one more time I'm going to explode.

_"Yes! Now go before I change my mind."_

She pulled me into a hug. Locking my arms against my waist.

_"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I'll make it up to you I promise!"_

The words didn't even finish leaving her mouth when she detached herself and walked out the door closing it behind her. I can't even contain my tears. As soon as that door closes I'm gone and I can't control my emotions. My thoughts. My words. I just slide down the door with tears infusing my eyes and cheeks and I let the words slip from my lips.

_" I love you."_


	19. Chapter 19

**Here it is guys! Sorry it took so long. Im working on a few more chapters for this story so hopefully updates won't be so far apart. A little ****reminder this story is Reamy endgame with Karmy moments. I love both pairings but I entered this story with the idea of Reagan and Amy being together and thats not going to change no matter what drama Karma brings into their relationship.**

****Sorry for any mistakes I didn't proof read.**

**Amy POV**

While one of my relationships is going great the other seems to be drowning and drowning fast. I feel like my relationship with Karma is becoming more broken every day. Shes been acting so weird around me lately and I don't know what to do. I'm trying my best to spend more time with her by canceling the occasional date night with Reagan, reinstating Friday night girls night, being more open and honest with her about things but nothing seems to be working and it's starting to take a toll on mine and Reagan's relationship. I'm putting too much of my time and effort towards the wrong girl. Yes, Karma is one of the most important people in my life, if not the most important but Reagan is a close second and every minute I spend with Reagan is knocking down Karma's position in my life. I'm trying to incorporate Karma. I really am but it's a two way street. I can't be the only one putting effort in. But that's how our relationship has always been. I'm the one that has always went above and beyond for things. So I guess I can't really expect anything different now.

_"Hey Karma! What are you doing tonight?"_

_"Nothing. Why?"_

_"Perfect! We're going out."_

_"What about Reagan don't you guys have something planned it's Saturday night."_

_"Don't worry about Reagan today is all about you and me."_

_"So what do you have in mind?"_

_"Girls weekend. I'm talking about four flavor a of frosting, trashy magazine quizzes, snickerdoodle cookies... I'll even throw in some romantic comedies."_

_"That sounds perfect! But can I possibly add a few things to the list?"_

_"Whatever you want. This weekend is all about you. No phones. No Liam. No Reagan."_

_"Are you sure that's a good idea? Won't Reagan be mad if you go completely silent?"_

_"Stop worrying about Reagan. I'm not worried so you shouldn't be either."_

_"I just think you should talk to her before hand is all."_

_"You sound like you're trying to get out of this weekend."_

_"No. No thats not it at all. Trust me I want this weekend more than anything. I just don't want it to cause a fight between you and Reagan."_

_"It __won't and if it does thats my problem and for me to deal with. I want this weekend Karma and Reagan is just going to have to accept that."_

_"Okay."_

_"Okay?"_

_"Yeah. Okay. I'll bring the trashy magazines! My subscription to 'Us Weekly' is finally paying off."_

_"You mean besides being the perfect reference for the __dossier__ you made while we faked being lesbians?"_

_"Yeah not my greatest idea."_

_"No. Definitely no! So I'll see you around seven?" _

_"Seven and not a minute after."_

As I hang up the phone I know Karma is right and I have to talk to Reagan. I know she's cater waitering today at the country club down the street and won't be able to answer her phone so I know I have to make a pit stop before picking everything up for tonight.

As I pull into the parking lot I can see her truck and I feel a small smile form on my face. I sneak in through the back door and instantly lay my eyes on Reagan who has her back turned towards me. The kitchen is completely empty and I use it to my advantage as I sneak behind Reagan and wrap my arms around her waist. I feel her body tense at the touch unsure of who is touching her. Her body quickly relaxes and embraces my touch and she turns around in my arms to face me.

_"What are you doing here? You're going to get me fired."_

_"I wanted to see you."_

I feel her grab my hand and begin to pull.

_"Come with me."_

_"Where are we going?"_

_"Freezer."_

_"Wait. What?!"_

_"You. Me. Freezer. Now."_

I heard her the first time but didn't really believe her until she pushed through the door to the walk-in freezer and pinned me against the door when it shut. She started kissing me with an eagerness I haven't seen before and it is hot. Thank God we are in the freezer or my skin would definitely be hotter than what it is now. I mean who would've thought it was possible for you to feel so hot in like 32° F. I feel her kisses turn passionate and she presses her body closer to mine. As much as I would love to continue kissing her and just take her and pin her against the door like she did with me I know we need to stop. I know I need to talk to her. So I try to stop her between kisses.

_"Reagan. We. Need. To. Stop."_

_"I don't want to stop."_

_"Neither do I but if you keep kissing me like that I'm not going to be able to restrain myself. And I don't want our first time to be in the freezer no matter how hot that sounds. Plus I need to talk to you about something."_

_"To be continued then?"_

_"Definitely to be continued."_

_"So what did you want to talk about?"_

_"I just wanted to come see you and let you know I'm having a girls weekend with Karma so I'm going to be off the grid for the next couple of days."_

_"Can I join? I would love to get to know Karma better."_

_"As much as I would love you to be there, Karma and I agreed no Liam which by default means no you."_

_"Was that her idea?"_

_"No. It was mine."_

_"So you don't want me there then. This has nothing to do with Karma or Liam."_

_"It's not like that."_

_"What is it like then?"_

_"I just want to spend time with Karma with no distractions or drama and since our big fight we really haven't had that. It's still weird between us. Our last girls night just made it more obvious that something is off with us."_

_"Fine."_

_"You don't sound fine."_

_"Well Amy you seem pretty set on your decision."_

_"I just don't want you to be upset about this."_

_"I'll be fine. Go spend time with your precious Karma."_

_"I'll call you later. Okay?"_

_"Don't bother."_

_"Reagan."_

_"Amy. I promise it's okay. We will hang out Monday."_

_"Alright. I'll talk to you Monday then."_

_"Monday."_

_"Thank you for pretending to be okay with this. I promise I'll make it up to you."_

_"You better!"_

_"I will."_

_"Okay. Go before I change my mind."_

I give her one last kiss before opening the freezer door and walking out with Reagan not too far behind. When I get to the door I can still feel her eyes on me. I glance behind me and just see her staring with a somber look on her face.

_"Hey!"_

I watch her as she snaps out of her daze and looks at me in my eyes.

_"I love you Reagan."_

I see a smile form on her face and watch as her eyes get a little brighter.

_"I love you too!"_

As soon as the words left her lips I knew everything was going to be okay. I know she's not happy with me spending the weekend with, Karma but she's going to be okay because she knows ultimately no matter how much time I spend with Karma she's always going to be the one I go home to or at least I hope she does.

**Karma POV**

I'm excited for a girls weekend I really am. I'll admit I've been distant lately. I couldn't bear to be near her knowing I love her but she loves Reagan. I have to remind myself though that no matter who Amy loves now they may not be there tomorrow but I will. I'm always going to be in Amy's life no matter what and I know that with every fiber of my being and it brings me great joy that Reagan can't say that and that her future with Amy is unknown and limited. Everything about them is limited. Everything is unknown. Reagan doesn't know if she will see Amy when she wakes up but I do. She doesn't know if she will talk to her every morning and night but I do. She doesn't know where her relationship with Amy stands no matter how much Amy tells her she loves her I know she's still questions her lasting power but I never have to. I know I'm always going to come first no matter what Reagan thinks. No matter what Amy tells Reagan I know she's saying it more to calm her down, to keep her to stay, to not hurt her. Amy will admit it too. She just won't tell Reagan. She knows she is my number one priority like I am hers and no one is ever going to change that. So when she told me not to worry about Reagan because she wasn't it brought a smile to my face because it just cemented everything even more and it gives me more to look forward to tonight.

* * *

Seven. Could honestly not get here fast enough. I just want to be with Amy with no interruptions. No Liam and especially no Reagan. As I walk through the front door I smile knowing I can walk in anytime. I don't have to announce myself. I don't have to knock. I don't have to sneak in through a window. I'm always welcome no matter the time. No matter the day. As I get to Amy's room the door is only open a few inches but it's open enough for me to see everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. It wasn't like the last time I saw her. This time is different. She must have just got out of the shower because there she is in all her glory. I don't think I've ever seen a more perfect body. I mean I've seen Amy naked before but not like this. Her hair is draped over one shoulder and the water caught in it drips down her perfectly toned body that I have no idea how she acquired with all the donuts she eats. I wonder if Reagan has ever seen her like this. If Reagan has touched her like I want to touch her right now. As she searches her dresser for clothes I find myself not being able to take my eyes off of her. My eyes scan her entire body making sure to take in every detail. I can't keep calm as I stand watching. I just want to burst through the door and pull her body into mine. It takes everything in me to resist. I watch it she clasps her brawl over her breasts. I bite down a moan as I watch her hands slide down her hips and pull up her panties. I would do anything to glide my fingers over her body like that. To be able to pull her flush against my body so flesh touches flesh. I'm literally in a trance staring. Completely fantasizing and daydreaming that I don't even notice her grabbing her phone until I feel a slight vibration in my pocket and let me tell you I would give anything for that slight vibration to be somewhere else. At that moment I'm brought back to reality as her face appears on the screen.

_"Hey! Are you almost here?"_

_"Yeah. I'm just about to walk in your room now."_

I watch as she turns towards the door and watches it open. And we both hang up our phones and make eye contact. I feel a smile pull on my lips and watch as she mirrors my face. Little does she know my smile is for a completely different reason than finally being able to start girls night. I'm just hoping this one doesn't end like the last one did. I don't want her to leave. I want her to stay. I need her to stay. I want us to get back on track.

**Amy POV**

As I hang up the phone and stare at Karma I watch as a smile forms on her face and I can't help but to smile back. There's just something about being in the presence of Karma that brings me joy. She's the only one that can make me happy instantly. Just by being present. She doesn't have to say anything or do anything like others her being there, being here is more than enough to turn any dark day to a bright one. Not even Reagan can bring me the amount of happiness that Karma does and I don't think she ever will.

_"So what did you want to add to the schedule this weekend? Besides the usual trashy magazines, snickerdoodles and frosting comas."_

_"I was thinking some much needed girl talk and maybe some cuddling?"_

_"That sounds perfect! What do you want to start with trashy magazines and snickerdoodles then we can segue into the black hole of RomComs?"_

_"Perfect. Just as long is I can pick the movies. I know you said RomComs but something tells me you're going to sneak in a documentary or two."_

_"Deal."_

After coming out of the dark hole of endless clichés and "meet cutes" as Karma likes to call them it was time to have as Karma described "much needed girl talk". I follow Karma upstairs and followed her lead and sat on the bed beside her.

_"So what did you want to talk about?"_

_"You, me, you and Reagan, me and Liam. I know we said no Reagan and no Liam but I really need to talk to you about a few things that have been bugging me."_

_"Okay."_

_"Just promise me you'll listen and answer my questions."_

_"What questions?"_

_"We will get to those later. But first let's talk about the fact that you told Reagan you're a lesbian."_

_"I'm a girl in a monogamous relationship with another girl. What else would you call me?_

_"Uh, I'm gonna go with Amy."_

_"Why are you so against me being a lesbian?"_

_"I'm not! I'm against you changing who you are to make someone else happy. You can't lead her on and let her believe something that isn't true. __Amy you have to tell her the truth.__"_

_"What if I do and she wants to break up with me. I don't want to lose her."_

_"You can't lose yourself to keep her."_

_"What about you?"_

_"What about me?"_

_"You changed who you are to be with Liam."_

_"Thats another thing I wanted to talk to you about. __I made a mistake with Liam. I shouldn't have slept with him. I shouldn't have made him fall for me by pretending to be something I'm not. I don't want him anymore."_

_"What do you want?"_

_"I want to be happy and Liam never gave that to me. You give that to me. I just want things to go back to the way they were before. Just me and you."_

_"I don't know if I can do that. I have Reagan now."_

_"I know that and I don't want to come between you two. I just want to get back to the old Karma and Amy. No more secrets. No more sneaking around. I want to know everything."_

_"Okay. What do you want to know?"_

_"You're sometimes attracted to guys but you're dating a girl."_

_"Yeah. Your point."_

_"Well I know you slept with a guy and that wasn't the greatest of experiences for you, so I was curious if Reagan has changed anything for you?"_

_"We haven't slept together."_

_"You haven't?"_

_"No. I wanted to but she wanted to wait."_

_"She wanted to wait?!"_

_"Yepp."_

_"What is she waiting for?"_

_"I don't know. But I know it's going to be different without even doing anything. I love Reagan. I didn't love Liam."_

_"Will you tell me about it when it happens? I mean I don't want any details or anything but promise me you'll talk to me about it."_

_"I promise. Is there __anything else you wanted to ask?"_

_"Not right now. But it means a lot that I know you're here now no matter what if I ever do."_

_"Of course I am. I'm not going anywhere."_

_"Neither am I"_

Karmas conversation took me by surprise. I wasn't expecting anything that came out of her mouth tonight. She's right though I need to be honest with Reagan if I want a future with her. I can't keep leading her to believe something that isn't entirely true. I guess we have a lot to talk about on Monday. Going forward I know tonight is going to be the turning point for everything. Karma and I are moving forward and putting the past behind us and being 100% honest with each other and it means a lot that she is showing interest in my relationship with Reagan. I love the fact that I know I can always count on her and that she's always going to be there to talk or to just listen. As for tonight and the weight it will carry into my relationship with Reagan if I'm being honest I'm scared of the unknown and I'm scared of what her reaction will be. I can only hope that she loves me enough to stay and listen and not bolt and end what we have.

**Karma POV**

I know I may have overstepped a few things with our girl talk but I needed her to be honest with herself. I don't want her changing like I did to impress someone. I want her to be Amy. My Amy. And to be honest I also was a little curious if she and Reagan have taken things to the next level. I know Amy. She made a mistake with sleeping with Liam. And I know she wants to be in love the next time she has sex. So her saying that she hasn't slept with Reagan yet is giving me a small glimmer of hope that maybe one day we can experience that together.


	20. Chapter 20

**I finished this chapter a lot sooner than I thought so ****I'm updating early. I really hope you like it! The next update is going to take a little more time because I want to update my other story as well. Let me know what you think!**

****I do not own Faking It or any of the characters featured on the show.**

* * *

**Amy POV**

Monday.

I've been waiting for this day and dreading this day at the same time. I'm excited to see Reagan but I know I need to talk to her about what me and Karma discussed this weekend.

_"Hey I'm on my way over if that's okay."_

_"Of course! Just come in whenever you get here. I'll leave the door unlocked."_

_"Okay. I'll see you soon then."_

After hanging up the phone I find myself second guessing whether I should tell Reagan about me sometimes finding guys attractive. I mean what harm could it do not to tell her. I love her and that's what counts, right?

As I walk up the stairs to Reagan's apartment I can't stop picturing how Reagan will react when I tell her and as I open the door it only gets worse.

_"Reagan?"_

_"I'm in the bedroom."_

As I walk down the hall to her bedroom I know what I have to do but when I get to her bedroom and see her standing there in a towel I know I want to prolong telling her as long as possible. Standing here, leaning against the door frame watching her completely oblivious to the fact that I'm right behind her I know there's no place I'd rather be. I can see a future with her and I don't want to lose that.

_"So how long are you going to stand there staring?"_

_"It depends. How long are you going to stand there in a towel?"_

With no hesitation she just looks at me and smirks and drops her hands letting the towel fall to the ground in the process. I just stand there in shock with my mouth gaping open. I've never seen Reagan naked before and seeing her like this now I instantly regret not seeing her like this sooner. She's breathtaking.

_"So…how long are you going to stare now?"_

And there it is. Not only is she standing there completely naked but she has that smirk on her face and her eyebrow is arched, challenging me to do something about her current position. And I'm left baffled in the archway of her bedroom and hallway. I'm honestly torn. I mean this should be a no brainier, right? I mean my girlfriend is standing in front of me naked. I shouldn't even be thinking of anything else right now, but I am. If I take one step forward I'll fall into Reagan's trap (which of course I wouldn't complain about) but if I take one step back she'll know something is wrong and follow me out of the room. So I just continue to stand there staring blankly.

_"Amy? Hello! Earth to Amy."_

And just like that I'm brought back. Her voice alone bringing me back to the reality standing before me.

_"I know I'm sexy and everything but I never rendered anyone speechless before."_

Her cockiness astounds me sometimes.

_"Sorry. My mind just went somewhere else for a second."_

_"That was more than a second. You were gone for a few minutes."_

_"I was?"_

_"Yeah. I got dressed and everything and you never moved, you just stood there."_

I glance down at her body again and all I see are sweatpants.

_"Oh."_

_"Come on. Let's go watch a movie."_

Before I could say anything she was taking my hand and pulling me to the couch in the living room. We laid in silence together with my head resting on her chest just enjoying each others presence.

_"I missed this. I missed you. Your next girls weekend better include me. I don't like not talking to you, not seeing you, not being able to touch you."_

_"I missed you too."_

_"What's up Shrimp Girl? You seem a little distant today."_

_"It's nothing I'm fine."_

_"Amy you're not fine. You barely said two words to me all night. I can tell something's bugging you. Did something happen over the weekend with Karma that I need to know about?"_

_"What makes you think it has anything to do with Karma?"_

And with the mention of her name I can feel her body begin to free itself from beneath me. We're no longer laying in silence. We're sitting upward staring at each other with tension in the air.

_"It always has to do with Karma and you just spent the past couple days with her. It's not wrong of me to think it has something to do with her. Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me it has nothing to do with her."_

I sit there in silence just staring at her not knowing what to say.

_"You're not saying anything. So I'm taking that as it is about her."_

_"No. It's not like that. She just..."_

_"She what, Amy? She told you she loves you? She told you we aren't right together? She..."_

_"Stop. Just stop! She didn't do any of those things. She just made me realize I need to be honest with you about something."_

_"Honest about what?"_

_"Honest about me and who I am."_

_"Amy. You have to give me more than that."_

_"I lied to you the other day when I told you I was a lesbian."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"I'm sometimes attracted to guys..."_

_"After everything I've been through with my ex, how could you not tell me you're into guys?"_

_"Because I'm not sure I am."_

_"You just said you're attracted to guys what do you mean you're not sure?"_

_"I only slept with one. So I have nothing to compare it to."_

_"Oh, yeah, and he just happened to be the boyfriend of your best friend, the same best friend you kept secret from me because you're in love with her, and supposedly, you're over that."_

_"I am. And Karma has nothing to do with this."_

_"And I'm supposed to believe you? After all these lies?"_

_"I'm not in love with Karma. Karma's not even a lesbian."_

_"Neither are you apparently!"_

_"Look. The only thing Karma did was, she just reminded me of who I am."_

_"And who is that, exactly?"_

_"A sexually confused girl who wants to be with you."_

_"So you're not a lesbian."_

She said that in a way that stung. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A statement I don't know how to respond to.  
_"I don't know. The best answer I can give you is maybe. I'm sorry I don't have everything figured out like you do."_

_"Ha. Hardly. I don't have everything figured out, like I have no idea how I'm gonna get over you."_

_"Then don't."_

_"Amy. I can't be with someone who doesn't know who they are. You're still questioning your sexuality and I need to be with someone who already knows theirs."_

_"Part of questioning your sexuality is eventually getting the answer, right?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Well I know my answer and survey says I love you and that's not going to change. No matter how many guys... or girls I may find attractive, you're the one I want."_

_"Amy. I can't risk getting hurt again. I can't go through that kind of pain again."_

_"I'm not going to leave you for a guy and I'm not going to leave you for another girl. I really need you to understand that and to believe me. I don't want to ever cause you pain. I love you Reagan."_

_"I love you too Amy. But.."_

_"But nothing. Why can't we be together? And don't say because I don't know my sexuality because that's bullshit. I'm attracted to you and that's all that should matter. I know for a fact you're attracted to other women. So should I leave you for the fact that you could possibly leave me to be with them?"_

_"No."_

_"Then what is it Reagan? Why are you going to ruin what we have over a 'what if'? What are you so scared of that you don't want to be with me after I've been so open with you about everything. I didn't have to tell you. I could have kept this to myself."_

_"Yeah. You could have."_

_"I could have but I didn't. I want you to know everything there is to know about me Reagan even if it causes a fight like this because I know at the end of it, it's going to bring us closer together."_

_"I just... I just don't want you to disappear from my life again."_

_"Reagan. I'm not disappearing. You're pushing me."_

_"I guess I'm just trying to pull the ripcord before you can get to it. So it won't hurt as much when you inevitably do leave."_

_"I'm not reaching for the ripcord, Reagan. As far as I'm concerned there is no ripcord. I don't want an escape ploy. I'm in this for the long haul. You need to stop sabotaging us and just fall with me."_

_"We're just in different places, Amy as much as I wish we weren't..."_

_"No. Don't do that. We are in the same place. We both love each other. We are both in love with each other. There are no other places."_

_"Amy don't make this harder than what it is."_

_"You're the one making it hard Reagan. Not me."_

_"Amy..."_

_"Don't 'Amy' me! I'm in this 100%. I don't want this to be the end and you need to stop thinking that it is."_

_"I don't know if I can do that."_

_"Why are you so determined to walk away from me and walk away from us?"_

_"I don't want to walk away."_

_"Then stay."_

**Reagan POV**

I don't know what to say. I want to stay I really do. I just don't know if I can survive through another Charlotte. But I have to remind myself Amy isn't Charlotte. She's different and I'm different when I'm with her. She's right. I need to stop sabotaging us and take a leap of faith. I need to jump and just let myself fall with her.

_"Okay."_

_"Okay, you'll stay? Or just okay?"_

_"Okay I'll stay. But things have to change."_

_"What things?"_

_"I think you need to spend less time with Karma and more time with me. I'm not saying you need to cut her out of your life completely, I just want more time with you. You spend almost every day with her and I only see you two,three times a week if that. If you want this as much as you say you do, prove it."_

_"How about I sleepover and we spend the whole day together tomorrow?"_

_"What about school?"_

_"I don't have school. Something about prom being mandatory and boycotting something or another. I kinda zoned out when Karma showed up with donuts."_

_"So I can have you all to myself tomorrow?"_

She smile at me before inching her way closer to me.

_"No. You can have me all to yourself tonight… and tomorrow."_

Before I even have a chance to respond, her lips find mine as she slowly moves herself onto me pushing my body so it lays flat on the couch once again. I break away from the kiss and instantly regret it by the look on Amy's face.

_"And what exactly do you want me to do with you tonight?"_

I wasn't expecting to do anything with Amy . I'm still not ready to be with her completely especially after today. But that doesn't mean I'm not curious. I watch as she ponders. Like she's not quite sure what to say or she's weighing all her options.

_"I just want to lay here with you, wrapped in your arms. I don't want anything else. I just want you."_

As those words left her lips I knew I could believe them. And as she rested her head back on my chest and hugged me a little tighter I knew she meant them.

* * *

The next morning I found myself stuck. Amy had me pinned against the couch in a death grip. But somehow I was okay with it. I felt safe. The way her body felt pressed against mine was something that dreams are made of. I watched her sleep for a few minutes before her body began to stir and her eyes fluttered open.

_"Good morning Shrimp Girl."_

_"Good morning."_

_"So what do you want to do today."_

_"Hmmm...today is all about you. All about us. I want you to be able to trust me and feel comfortable with me and the only way that is going to happen is if you know everything there is to know about me. So I propose we play twenty questions."_

_"You're serious?"_

_"Yeah. Theres a lot you still don't know about me and theres somethings I would like to know about you. So we will take turns going back and forth. Nothing is off limits and we can't just answer 'yes' or 'no'."_

_"Okay. You start."_

We both sit up on the couch and face each other.

_"I want to know about Charlotte."_

_"What do you want to know?"_

_"Everything. But lets start with 'Is part of you still in love with her?'"_

_"Part of me is always going to have love for Charlotte but no part of me is 'in love" with Charlotte. She was a big part of my life but she's in the past and I want to keep her there."_

I take a moment to myself to think of what to ask Amy. She's right there are things I want to know. I just don't know where to start.

_"Okay. My turn. When you slept with Liam, did you enjoy it?"_

I watch as she takes a big breath before opening her mouth to answer.

_"As you know, I was drunk when I slept with Liam. I didn't voluntary jump into bed with him, it just happened. I don't remember that much while it was happening. I just remember thinking 'this is what everyone makes a big deal about'. I didn't understand and when I woke up the next day, I felt ashamed and it wasn't just about the whole Karma side of it. It was different. I felt violated and I thought to myself 'I never want to experience that ever again'. So... no, I didn't enjoy it."_

_"Can I have a follow up question?"_

_"Only if I get to have one later."_

_"Deal."_

I'm nervous asking this next question. I don't know if I want to hear the answer.

_"Would you ever sleep with another guy?"_

_"I thought about it. Sometimes I find myself walking down the street and seeing a guy I find attractive and wonder what it would be like. If it would be different then it was with Liam but then I really think and I know thats something I don't want to consider or think about. If I was dating a guy the answer would be 'yes' but the thing is I don't want to date a guy and theres no guys I want to date. So as of right now, in this moment, no, I would never sleep with another guy... Okay my turn. How many people have you had sex with?"_

_"Two. There was my girlfriend before Charlotte her name was Brooke. I dated her for about a year before I broke up with her because I couldn't see a future with her. We were young and still figuring things out. And of course theres Charlotte."_

_"Can I have my follow up question now?"_

_"Sure."_

_"If you've slept with both of your ex-girlfriends why don't you want to sleep with me?"_

_"You think I don't want to sleep with you?"_

_"Yeah. Every time we get close you stop us. You're the one who always wants to wait."_

_"Amy. I say I want to wait because I do want to wait. You're different then Brooke and Charlotte I don't want to rush us and it doesn't help that the timing __hasn't been ideal."_

_"How am I different? We've almost been dating for six months and the timing is never going to be perfect. What is holding you back from being with me?"_

_"You just are I can't explain it."_

_"Try."_

_"I was young when I was with Brooke and we did it because we thought we had to, we didn't do it because we wanted to. Charlotte was a little different. I wanted to be with her. She made me feel loved but at the same time I could tell it was a game to her. Everything was on her terms. After a while I stopped wanting it because it felt forced and then when I found her in bed with her ex-boyfriend it all made sense."_

I take a deep breath before continuing. I need to make sure she understands.

_"With you, I don't feel forced like its an obligation or like its a game and that scares me. __I've never been with someone where everything fits and where we both want the same thing and I don't know how to handle that. I guess I'm just scared to let go and be with you because I don't know what will happen after."_

_"Im scared too Reagan. I don't know whats going to happen after but I do know having sex isn't going to change anything between us. I mean it __will but not in a bad way it will only bring us closer together. I know that cliche but I don't know how else to explain it. We can't keep pushing it to the side because we are afraid. Thats not good for our relationship. But if you honestly want to wait, I'll wait. I'll always wait."_

_"Would you leave me for Karma if she was a lesbian or bisexual?"_

_"No."_

_"You said no 'yes or no' answers."_

_"I would never leave you for Karma or any other woman. If I wanted to be with Karma I wouldn't be sitting here with you now. Why do you hate Karma so much?"_

_"I don't hate Karma. I hate the idea of her. She's your first love and your best friend I don't know how I can even compete with that. The fact that she is always going to be in your life is just something I need to get use to."_

_"It's not a __competition. Im not some prize you can win. She is my first love and my best friend but that doesn't mean she's my entire world. I know its going to take time to understand our friendship, I get that. But you have to understand she's been there for me for over ten years and it's hard to cut someone like that out of your life even if the cutting is in a small way."_

_"Do you think we could ever have what you and Karma have?"_

_"Maybe someday. Do you want what me and Karma have?"_

_"No. I want more."_

_"Then don't focus on my relationship with her. Focus on my relationship with you."_

_"Whats your greatest fear?"_

_"Not knowing. It scares me when I don't know something. Whether its an answer to something, an outcome of an event or not knowing whats going to happen in the next minute, hour, day, year. I don't like the unknown. Whats yours?"_

_"Being alone. I don't like to be by myself. I need someone there whether they are __literally right next to me holding me or they are a phone call away I need to know they exist. It scare me to think about going through life with no one.__If you could go back in time and have the opportunity to change something from your past, would you?"_

_"No. I like how my life is now. I would be afraid if I went back and changed something I wouldn't be here and I like being here. Would you change anything"_

_"A few things if I had the I would definitely want to go back and stop you from leaving 'Belles' that night you rushed out with your mom."_

_"Why would you change that?"_

_"I __didn't like not having you around after that night it made me feel alone and I like my life a lot better when you're apart of it."_

_"I like my life better when you're apart of it too."_

I could feel the hours go by as we kept asking questions. We didn't want to stop. We just kept asking not caring about stoping when we hit twenty. I don't know how to explain it but playing twenty questions with Amy was freeing. It felt good to ask things. It felt good to get all my fear out in the open. It felt good to get answers. But even after asking endless amounts of questions, I still feel like theres so much more to ask and learn and I can't wait to have another opportunity to ask them.


	21. Chapter 21

**Reagan POV**

It's been six months. Six months. Part of me can't believe we made it this long but a bigger part is thankful we did. I love Amy and I can't picture my life without her. We're supposed to go out and celebrate today. I have the whole day planned out. All I told Amy was to be ready at 5pm and to wear something comfortable but still be dressed up. As I pull up to Amy's house I start to become a little nervous. I want today to be perfect and I'm worried I'm going to screw it up somehow. I begin knocking on the door secretly hoping my nervousness doesn't show. I take a step back as I see the door handle move. My heart sinks when I see Farrah.

"Why_ hello Reagan! Don't you look beautiful."_

_"Is Amy ready?"_

_"Honey, Amy's not home she's at Karmas. She should be home soon. Do you want to wait in her room?"_

_"That would be great. Thank you."_

As I make my way up the stairs I can feel my heart breaking. How can Amy not be home? How can Amy be with her and not here with me? As I open the door to her room I secretly wish she's behind it but I know she won't be. I make my way to her bed and sit down and pull out my phone. The call goes straight to voicemail.

_"Amy where are you? I'm in your room waiting for you. I thought we agreed I was picking you up at five."_

I hang up the phone and let myself fall back on her bed. I wait like that for fifteen minutes before trying to call her again but once again it goes straight to voicemail.

_"Amy please pick up. I need to know you're okay. Please come home. I have this great day planned for us and you're not here and I ... I'm getting worried. Please call me."_

I hang up the phone once again and pull my knees up to my chest. I can feel the tears escaping my eyes and making their way down my cheeks. Minutes pass by and I'm giving up hope that Amy's coming home. I can't force myself to move as the minutes turn to hours. I'm paralyzed as tears continue to fall from my eyes. The darkness that encompasses the room is one of the only things keeping me calmer than what I am because if the lights were on I would remember who's room I'm in. I'm taken out of the bubble I created when the lights flicker on and the sound of Amy's voice reaches me.

_"Oh my god! Reagan! I'm so sorry."_

My head turns towards her as she she runs toward the bed. Towards me.

_"Reagan I'm so sorry I lost track of time and I wanted to make sure everything was perfect for you tonight."_

I feel her hand on my shoulder and watch as she brings her free hand up to my face to push back the fallen hair that hid my puffy eyes.

_"Get off me! If you wanted it to be perfect you would have been here. You wouldn't have kept me waiting. You wouldn't have been with her."_

_"I'm sorry. I really am. I wanted more than anything to spend tonight with you. I just got distracted with Karma and one thing led to another and before I knew it... it was past five and I rushed over hoping that you would still be here."_

_"I couldn't leave. You hurt me. You broke my heart tonight. I needed you to be here and you weren't. You chose her over me."_

_"I didn't choose her. She was helping me get ready."_

_"She could have done that here. Lauren could have done it here. You shouldn't have left. You shouldn't have gone to her."_

I can feel the tears escape with every word and I can see the tears begin to collect in Amy's eyes as she speaks again.

_"I know. And I know how you must be feeling right now and..."_

_"No. Don't you dare finish that sentence. You have no idea how I feel right now. You have no clue what I'm going through right now."_

_"I promise. Me being with Karma is nothing more than a friend helping a friend."_

_"Are you sure about that? Because you sure have been spending a whole hell of a lot of time with her and none with me. Do you still love her?"_

It took everything in me to ask. But I had to know. Why else would she want to be with her and not me.

_"I'm really getting sick of you asking if I still love Karma. Every time you ask I always tell you the same answer but for some reason you don't seem to believe me. It's like you want me to say 'yes'."_

_"I don't want you to say 'yes'. I just want you to be here for me. You're always with her, always talking to her, talking about her."_

_"She's my best friend."_

_"And I'm your girlfriend! You should want to be with me. You should want to talk to me. You should be here for me and not her."_

_"I'm sorry I spend a lot of time with Karma. And I'm sorry about tonight. There's just some things I can't talk to you about that I need her for."_

_"Like what?"_

_"For starters us and well... mostly you."_

_"I don't want you to talk to her about us. I want you to talk to me. If we're having problems I need you to talk to me."_

_"She helps me get my thoughts together before I talk to you. It helps me to get her advice. I don't always use it but I'm glad she's there to give to me. I'm new to this. You're my first girlfriend, my first relationship so I don't always know how to handle certain situations and she helps me with that."_

_"You can come to me for those things. I know this is your first real relationship and I want to be here for you through it. We're doing this together. As much as you're learning about the relationship, I am too. This is new territory for me too Amy so I need you to be able to communicate with me, be here with me."_

_"Okay. But I'm still going to talk to her and spend time with her. I listened to you when you said I needed to spend less time with her. I've cut back I really have. But I can't cut her out completely and you shouldn't ask me to do that. She's always going to be part of my life and I really need you to be okay with that. I can't keep having this argument. I'm always going to talk to her. I won't talk to her about us if that's what you really want but I need you to know I don't just talk to her about our relationship. I talk to her about other things too. I talk to her about how great you are, how happy I am to be with you, how happy you make me and how gorgeous you are and that I'm the luckiest person in the world to be able to be with you."_

_"You do?"_

_"Yes! Of course Rea! I love you. And no matter how much time I spend with Karma that's not going to change."_

_"I love you too. I...I just want you to show it. It hurts me when you would rather spend time with her than me."_

_"That's not true. I want to spend time with you. I do. I've never wanted to spend my time any other way. Its just after the fight between me and Karma I feel like I need to spend time with her even if I don't want to. I have to try to repair our friendship."_

_"I understand that. I do. But that fight was months ago. And our relationship is the one that's suffering. I don't want to make you choose and I don't want to tell you, you can't see her, but if something doesn't change I can't be doing this anymore."_

_"You would throw away what we have because of Karma?"_

_"Amy. I love you. I really do. More than I loved anyone but relationships are about give and take and all that I'm doing is giving and you... you're taking and giving to Karma. So yes. I would consider leaving."_

_"I promise you're my first priority. I don't want to choose between the two of you. You both are important parts of my life but if I have to choose I ... I choose you. I'll choose you every time. I love you and I don't want anything or anyone to jeopardize our relationship."_

_"I'll stay. But you have to promise me you won't make me regret it. I can't have my heart get broken again."_

_"I promise. Now can I show you something?"_

_"What is it?"_

_"Just come with me."_

I followed Amy outside and she led me to my truck.

_"Get in. I need you to take us somewhere."_

_"Amy. I had to cancel all my plans for tonight. I don't have anywhere to take you."_

_"But I do. Now get in!"_

I follow directions and listen to Amy as she tells me where to go. The roads are empty and lit by streetlights. It's peaceful. I would be happily content wandering the streets with Amy. I would be happy doing anything with Amy. We drive for another fifteen minutes before Amy tells me to pull over. I follow her out of the car and watch her as she walks towards me. She looks beautiful under the light of the stars and moon. I just stare at her in aw of her beauty. I don't even notice Amy grabbed my hand until she started pulling me after her. I follow her in the dark not knowing where she's leading me. Until we come to a clearing. It's beautiful and I'm taken by surprise. I wasn't expecting this. I wasn't expecting her to bring me back here. We haven't come back here together in months. I know Amy said she wanted this to be our place but I know she still wanted it to be hers. So I left it up to her to decide if we come back. I'm the one that normally plans things. Amy hasn't done anything like this since she first told me that she loved me.

Candles are everywhere and in the middle of the burning flames is a blanket laid out ever so nicely. I watch as Amy makes her way to the blanket and picks something up. The next thing I hear is our song playing all around us. I watch as Amy makes her way back to me.

_"May I have this dance?"_

_"How did you do all of this?"_

_"I told you I had help. This is what I did with Karma. This is what she was helping me with."_

_"I'm sorry I over reacted earlier."_

_"It's okay. You didn't know. But this is what I'm talking about. When I'm with Karma it's not just us. You're there too. I mean you're not there physically but I can feel you there. And she gets that. She knows and she accepts it. It's hard for her too. Having to share me. I've been her best friend for ten years and nothing has ever come between us. Until you. And you're a big change for her. I mean she knew we would date people and have people come in and out of our lives but she never could have expected the person to come into my life has already been there and was there before her and occupied the same place she has now."_

_"I never thought of it that way."_

_"I know. That's why I'm telling you. I want you to understand where she's coming from. Where I'm coming from. I know it's going to take time but I just need you to realize it's not just hard for you. It's hard for her and it's hard for me."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_"Don't be sorry just come dance with me."_

I take her hand as she leads me closer to the candles that are scattered around the blanket and we begin to dance. This girl is going to be the death of me. She takes my breath away with everything she does. The way she looks at me, the way she moves with me, the way my name rolls off her tongue. She could do and say anything and I would find it the sexiest thing ever. But here right now. As we dance under the stars to the song that was playing the night Amy told me she loved me, she's stealing more than my breath.

_"I can't believe you did all of this for me."_

_"Reagan. I would do anything for you. I love you and I can't imagine what my life would be like if you weren't in it. This. All of this, is nothing. I want to give you more than this because this doesn't even begin to show how much I love you. It's only a small piece, a fragment of how much I love you and what I would do for you to show you that."_

I think I get it now or at least I'm trying to. I know it's hard for Amy but I never stopped to think that all of this is hard for Karma too. I mean Amy went to a lot of trouble to do this for me and Karma helped her with everything. Maybe I am being to hard on Amy for spending time with her. It's wrong of me to keep Amy away from her. If someone were to tell me I couldn't see Amy I would break. You can't force someone out of someone's life and I get that now.

* * *

After dancing to a few more songs we laid down on the blanket and just watched the stars. We just laid there waiting for the sun to rise and for the stars to fade away. Tonight was eventful to say the least and after everything that happened today something was still bugging me. Something was still weighing on my mind.

_"Can I ask you a question?"_

_"Go for it."_

_"When we first came here you said no one else knew about this place but you. Then you said you wanted to share it with me and make it ours. But tonight you said Karma helped you with everything which means she was here. Which means it's no longer ours. It's hers to, right?"_

_"No."_

_"But she was here. She knows about it."_

_"She knows about it. She's always known about it. She just doesn't know where it's at. I blindfolded her so she wouldn't see. Today was the first day she has ever seen it and it will be the last time."_

_"You blindfolded her?"_

_"I told you this was our place and I meant what I said. I need a place to get away from everything and everyone including Karma but I never want to get away from the you. That's why I brought you here from the beginning. I always want you to be able to find me."_

Words can't even explain how happy it makes me that Amy wants me to be able to find her no matter what. The fact that she went to the length of blindfolding Karma to keep her promise amazes me and it makes me realize she really does love me. I mean I believed her when she said it before but it's different now. I can see it. I don't just hear it anymore. Granted its always been in her eyes but to actually see it in this capacity is unreal. And it makes me feel like I'm finally ready.

_"Amy?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"I don't want to wait anymore."_

_"Okay. Let me just clean up then we can go home. We can watch the sunrise another day."_

_"No. I. Don't. Want. To. Wait."_

As the words left my mouth I turned towards Amy and looked at her, waiting for a response but she fell silent and just stared into my eyes. She looked scared. No thats not right. She looked hesitant. Then it hit me. She's never done this before. I mean I know she's had sex but she's never been with a girl.

She's never been with me.

* * *

**Sorry this took a while. I was planning on updating my other story but I hit a road block with it so I figured I would update this one! Let me know what you think! I always like seeing and reading feedback. Im also open to suggestions on chapters you would like to see so just let me know if you have a suggestion or idea!**


	22. Chapter 22

**Im back! I know. I suck and Im sorry. Ive been going through a lot these past few months and I'm just trying to get ****everything figured out. So writing unfortunately was put on the back burner even though it is literally the only thing that keeps me sane. But I'm back and I hope to be updating more frequently. I already have seven new chapters written for this story but I still have to write a few more filler chapters so the timeline of events moves smoothly. So please bare with me.**

**With that being said, here is what you all have been waiting for! I warn you the POV changes very frequently through this chapter. I tried writing it only switching the POV once or twice but it just wasn't working and this is the best way I could do what I wanted in the chapter without forcing myself to cut important scenes. This is also the longest chapter Ive ever written and I struggled writing it. It is by far the hardest chapter I had to write so I really hope you like it!**

****I apologize for the mistakes. I did not proof read, I just wanted to get this posted for you as soon as possible****

*****Rated M*****

* * *

**Amy POV**

_'I don't want to wait anymore.'_

The words hit like a freight train. I've been waiting for Reagan to be ready for months but hearing the words leave her lips now, I find myself not knowing what to do. I always assumed when she was ready she would just go for it and I would just follow. I never thought she would tell me. Now she's staring at me waiting for me to respond. Waiting for me to do something. But I'm lost. I've never been with a girl. I've never been with her. I don't know what to do. I can feel my face flush as I stare at her completely lost and begging for help. Begging her to save me from my thoughts and my hesitations.

**Reagan POV**

I can see Amy pleading with me through her eyes. I can tell she's stuck in her thoughts and paralyzed by her fears and worries of being with me. I know she wants to be with me. She just doesn't know how. I watch as she shuts her eyes and lays back on the blanket. I lay back joining her. She's so silent. So still. I can see her chest moving rapidly and I turn to face her moving a fallen piece of hair behind her ear. I can see her begin to steady her breathing.

_"Hey. We don't have to do anything tonight if you don't want to."_

I watch as she takes a deep breath and turns to face me.

_"No. I want to. I really do. It's just that I -."_

_"You've never been with a girl."_

_"Yeah."_

I can see the tears start to form in her eyes. I know how much this means to her but she's overthinking everything. She just needs to get out of her head and not think. I wipe the tears from her cheek with my thumb and lean in and kiss her gently. As I pull away I can hear her take a deep breath and sigh.

_"Hey. It's okay. Just breathe."_

_"I can't."_

_"Just relax and-."_

_"No. I can't breathe because every time you kiss me it takes my breath away. And if your kiss can do that I can't imagine what you'll do to me when we're together."_

_"Don't think. Just do. Get out of your head and just be here with me."_

As the words leave my lips I just stay there staring into her eyes. Waiting for confirmation. I don't want to initiate anything. Amy needs to make the first move. I don't want to pressure her. I don't want to do anything if she has the slightest hint of hesitation.

The next thing I know Amy's lips are crashing into mine pulling me out of my head and my thoughts, bringing me back home to her. The kiss is rushed but full of passion. I can feel Amy's love in the kiss and it's euphoric. I begin to kiss back with equal force as I feel one her hands at the nape of my neck pulling me closer. I let my body follow her pull until I'm laying on top of her. We've been in this position before but this time is different. I pull away from the kiss bringing her bottom lip with me before letting it go to pull my upper body off her. As I sit there straddling her waist and watch her heaving body I can't help but to fall for this girl even more. She's perfect and I can't imagine being here with anyone else. Looking down at her I find her eyes locked on me and I take the opportunity to strip myself of my top. Looking back down at her expecting to find drifting eyes I'm a little taken back that her eyes never left mine. It's at that moment I realize that this isn't just sex. Brooke and Charlotte were just sex. Amy is more than that. More than some quick fuck.

**Amy POV**

Staring up at Reagan and finding her eyes staring back was comforting. Calming. All my fears were erased and it was just us. I would be happy to stop everything right here. Right now and just stare at her and have her stare back like nothing else in the world matters. But I can tell that isn't in the cards by how Reagan is leaning towards me. Her lips find mine as I let out a sigh of relief. Her lips are moving against mine in away that I've never witnessed. It's tentative. Tender. It's like the confident girl I'm in love with has disappeared. She looks so... vulnerable. It scares me that I can do that to her. But at the same time I love seeing her this way. Having her kiss me like this and me kissing back is one of the most sensual things I've bared witness to. I already can feel a pool of heat forming and if she can make me feel this way just by a kiss I know a I'm in trouble.

I can feel something shatter within me as she pulls away from me. All I want is her lips to be back on mine. I'm craving her touch and I hate her for taking that away from me right now. I follow her body up to try and capture her lips only to have Reagan's hands find my already heaving abdomen.

**Reagan POV**

As I pull away from her lips to regain an idea of the reality in front of me, my hands find the hem of her shirt. I let them hover over her tight, glistening abs and slowly inch them up her body taking her shirt with them. I can feel the heat radiating from her skin under my finger tips as I inch my way closer to her chest. I can feel Amy's body press against my hands as she leans forward so I can free her from her top and in that moment all I want to do is savor every moment. Take in every touch. And slow everything down so this can last forever. As soon as her shirt leaves my hands they immediately find her skin again. It's funny how my fingers can barely touch her skin but I still feel everything. As I slowly trace my way up her body with my finger tips, I can feel every inch of her body tighten and I'm captivated. I can't help but to stare.

_"God. You're so beautiful."_

_"It drives me crazy when you look at me like that."_

_"Like what?"_

_"Like I'm the only girl in the room. Like I'm the most important thing in the world."_

_"That's because you are."_

As soon as the words drifted out of my mouth I let my lips capture hers in what I can only describe as one of the most passionate kisses I've ever experienced. I can feel my face flush and goosebumps form on my flesh every place imaginable. I can't even fathom how she can evoke such responses out of me. I let her deepen the kiss as my hands move delicately down her frame and gently cup her breasts that are still being kept hostage by the thin lace material of her bra. I cautiously move my fingers under one side of her bra. Letting them explore the flesh beneath the lace. As they graze over her nipple I can feel it stiffen and I want nothing more than to replace my fingers with my tongue and taste every inch of her soft skin. She lets out a low moan at the new contact allowing our lips to disconnect and letting mine taste their way down her neck towards her collarbone making sure to suck at every pulse point. As I kiss my way down her body I notice Amy's hands are struggling to find a place to rest. I pause for a moment, letting my hands find hers, gently taking hold of them and guiding them to my back.

_"You're allowed to touch me Ames."_

**Amy POV**

I know Im allowed to touch her. I just don't know where to touch first. We've never been this close with so much exposed skin. I've seen her naked that one time but, this, this is so much better. And as those six little words leave her mouth, I can't help but think that we're wearing too many clothes and I want nothing more than to rid Reagan of the fabric that is separating our bodies. I don't respond to her comment and instead let my newly placed hands find their way up to the clasp of her bra. I can feel Reagan's body tense as my fingers unclasp her bra and slowly move their way to her shoulders freeing her arms of the straps. I don't take my eyes off of hers. Even as the material falls off her, exposing her ample breasts my eyes remain locked on hers. I have to say Reagan's advice is definitely working in my favor. Not being stuck in my head is giving me a new found confidence and I could not be more grateful for that at this moment as my hands traveled up to the nape of her neck pulling her down towards me. I can feel Reagan's newly freed breasts press against mine and in that moment I regret not taking off my bra as well. I let my fingers tangle in her hair as I pull her closer to my lips and as I capture her perfectly pouty lips between mine I can feel myself melt. I try to deepen the kiss but Reagan has another idea and releases my lips and begins to pull her body away from mine and I can't help but to follow in an attempt to have her lips back on mine. When I finally open my eyes realizing her lips aren't coming back to me I find her smirking at me like she knows something I don't. And reality hits when I can no longer feel her body pressed against mine. I'm lying abandoned on the ground watching Reagan as she puts more separation between us. Even though I can't feel her touch I can feel her gaze and I let my eyes settle on hers. And as she slowly let's her hands drift towards her hips releasing the button holding her pants up I know I'm done for.

A sense of calm comes over me knowing that Reagan's eyes are fixated on mine and though she's stripping herself clean of one of the last articles of clothing left on her body, me eyes can't seem to be anywhere else but looking back at hers. My eyes falter but don't wander as I watch her shimmy herself out of her pants and as she lets her hands find the hem of panties. She's moving so slow but she's not doing it teasingly. And as that black material makes its way down ever inch of her lower body I watch in agony waiting for it to hit the ground so I can feel her on my skin again. But when it hits the ground, she just stands there like she's waiting for something. Then it registers. She's waiting for me. Waiting for me to say something, making sure I haven't zoned out like last time. But right now I think actions will speak louder than words and I allow myself to stand on my feet making my way closer to her stripping myself of my pants in the process. When I get close enough so only a small space exists between us I hear Reagan let out a small shudder and I let my hand cup her cheek. I watch as Reagan leans into the contact and closes he eyes.

_"Hey. Look at me. I need you to open your eyes and look at me."_

I've never seen Reagan so vulnerable. I begin to stroke her cheek with my thumb in attempt for her to open her eyes. And when they finally flutter open and meet my gaze I feel like I can really see her for the first time.

_"You're so beautiful."_

And for the first time I let my eyes wander over every inch of her body, letting my hands explore the newly exposed skin. I move delicately up and down her sides, stopping shy of her hips and breasts not wanting to seem too greedy. I can tell the roaming of my hands is having an affect on Reagan by the heat exuding from her skin. As my hands trail back up her body I wrap my arm around her waist pulling her towards me, closing the small gap between us. Leaning in I place a soft kiss on her lips and let myself linger there, waiting for Reagan to respond. Being so close and breathing in the same air as her is intoxicating.

**Reagan POV**

Amy's lips are just barely touching mine and it takes everything in me to hold back. I would give anything to just push her down on the blanket and just fuck her, but that wouldn't be fair to her or myself. I don't want this to be over in a blink of an eye. This isn't just some quick fuck. This is sex, with the love of my life and I'm going to revel every moment, every touch and every taste. So even though Amy's lips are a mere centimeter away from mine I pause to let myself inhale everything that is Amy.

_"You know. It's not fair that you still have clothes on and that I'm completely naked."_

_"So. Do something about it."_

Speechless. Did she seriously just challenge me?! I have to say Amy is bringing the confidence and it is sexy. But she's right. I do need to do something. I eliminate the small gap between our lips and wrap my arms around her body, slowly sliding them down her back until they meet her hips. I gentle grip and begin to lift her off the ground allowing her to wrap her legs around me. Adjusting to the new position is proving to be more challenging than I expected. All I want to do is have my hands wander over her newly exposed skin but I know if I don't support her she'll fall so I allow my hands to find refuge on the small of her back, hoping that it will only be temporary. As my hands slide up to their new resting place I let my tongue glide across Amy's bottom lip, asking for permission to enter. She parts her lips and I let my tongue cross the threshold. I let my tongue explore every inch of her mouth before I let it find Amy's. And when it does, I swear I went to heaven. I can feel the warmth and softness of her tongue as I massage it with mine and I never want to forget the taste. I let my tongue move slowly against hers not wanting to be rough and hurried but Amy seems to have another idea in mind as she tries to dominate and take control of the kiss. I let myself give in to her. Letting her have the control she is eager to have. I pull my tongue back into my mouth only to have Amy's chase after it a mere second later. I let her roam the new space deepening the kiss even more than I thought possible. I can feel my breathing getting heavy and I can hear Amy's doing the same but neither one of us wants to pull away. It's intoxicating being breathless but still breathing. The only air being taken in is what Amy breathes out and it's making me lightheaded but in the way that I feel like I'm floating and not like I'm going to pass out. The scent emitting from her body and breath is arousing and I wish I could surround myself with the aroma all the time but I know if I do I'll never be aware of anything else around me and I so desperately need to be aware of everything that is Amy and not just her smell. I need to be in a state of consciousness so I can taste every fiber, touch every inch, hear every noise, see every movement and smell every scent. So I let myself fall back, putting distant between our lips, letting the oxygen rehydrate our lungs.

_"I love the things you do with your tongue."_

_"Then why did you pull away? I was just getting started."_

_"As much as I wanted to continue to kiss you I also wanted to be able to breathe."_

_"Well you're breathing now."_

_"True. But I want to be able to kiss more then just your lips."_

_"So, whats stopping you?"_

She has a point. What is stopping me? I mean I have this incredibly sexy girl wrapped around my naked body and I'm just holding her. I haven't even stripped her of her bra and panties. It's weird that we switched roles. I like this confident Amy but I seriously need to step up my game.

I let my eyes find hers again as I let one hand slide up her back. Her eyes are dark; dilated, full of desire and need. I want nothing more than to release the ache and yearning that she shows in her eyes. When my hand finally finds its destination I let it unclasp the thin material I've been wanting to tear off her body since the moment I removed her shirt. I watch the straps fall from her shoulders and as the material pools between our bodies I let myself walk towards the blanket with Amy still wrapped around me. I let myself lean forward, gently resting Amy's body on the warm blanket and as her body hits it I can feel her stretch her legs that were tangled around my waist. I hover over her a moment before throwing the lace material resting on Amy's chest to the side. My fingers are tingling with desire to touch the newly freed skin but I hold off, letting my lips crash into Amy's swollen lips. We're battling for dominance but I'm not going to let Amy take control this time. I deepen the kiss. Pushing my tongue further into her mouth, allowing it to caress everything in its path. I can feel and hear Amy's breathing getting heavy and take the opportunity to pull away from the kiss tugging on Amy's bottom lip with my teeth as a pull away from her lips. A moan escapes her mouth at the gesture. I revel at the fact that I can make her produce such a sound and wonder what other sounds I can get her to make.

The sweet taste of Amy's lips is embedded on mine and leaves me questioning what the rest of her body tastes like. I don't want to waste another minute questioning. I want answers. I want to discover the unknown. So, I release Amy's lip and without delay I let them attach to her cheekbone and slowly trail kisses down her jawline to her neck. As I pass her pulse point with my lips I hear her let out a gasp due to the extra sensitivity. Greedy with the need to hear the sweet sound again I let my lips taste the spot once more. I bite down gently on her soft skin making sure I leave a mark and slowly run my tongue over the reddened area to soothe the skin. I continue my attach down her collarbone to her shoulders and down her arm to her hand and finally to her fingertips. I mirror the same movements on the other side of her body. Starting with her hand and moving back up to her lips. Once at her lips I debate whether I should kiss them or continue to trail kisses down her torso. There is no debate though. How can I not kiss her? That's like waking up Christmas morning and seeing all the presents under the tree but not wanting to open any of them. And lets face it I was never one of those kinds of people.

I hover centimeter above her lips just staring between her eyes and her slightly parted lips before closing the distance. The kiss is passionate and quick. I pull away regretting it slightly but I know I have others pieces of soft flesh for my lips to press against. I decide to not kiss my way down her neck this time and just move straight down to her chest. Placing light kisses against the skin until I meet her breasts. I remove my lips from her skin and place my finger tips on the outer edge of one of her supple breasts tracing gently, slowly circling inward towards her erect nipple. I let my fingers graze the tight tip before capturing it between my fingers and pulling it gently. The sweetest sound fell out of Amy's mouth at the action and only gave me more incentive to continue the assault. Rolling her nipple with my fingers is arousing to me and Amy but it still isn't enough. I want to taste, lick and nibble every inch of her creamy flesh. Removing my fingers, I let them drift to her other breast repeating the stimulating movements. My lips wrap around the vacated skin my fingers were mere seconds ago, caressing her nipple with my tongue. As I suck harder and flick her nipple with my tongue, I hear Amy whimper and I release both the nipple in between my finger tips and my mouth.

I look up to her meeting her eyes before kissing my way down her abdomen. As I reach her belly button I hesitate knowing I'm getting dangerously close to her center. I dip my tongue into her navel and let it swirl around before letting my tongue retreat back into my mouth. Im centimeters away from her center now and I let my fingers hook into the waistband of her panties. As I begin to pull I lock eyes with Amy. I want to watch her as I remove the last piece of clothing separating our skin and bodies. She looks so nervous but at the same time she's begging. Begging me to remove the material so she can feel my lips on her again. I slide the thin material down her body never breaking eye contact and as the material falls from her feet a sense of warmth overtakes my body. Amy's naked and Im captivated and anxious and breathless. I want this image and this memory to never disappear. I want to be anchored to this moment. Anchored to her body.

**Amy POV**

Reagan's touch is driving me insane. I can feel goosebumps everywhere as she explores my body. My body is aching for more contact but I'm left here abandoned, laying on the blanket, stripped of all of my clothes with Reagan just staring at me. I need her warmth. I need her touch. I need her.

"Rea?"

I can barely form words let alone say her name, but, I need to let her know I want her.

"Please don't stop."

I can see the change in Reagan's face. Its like she's been awakened and finally wants to embrace me. Her hands find my body again and I can feel my body tense and tighten as she lowers herself towards my center. I gasp as I feel her warm lips kiss the inside of thighs and as her grip tightens around me, I brace myself for what I imagine will happen next. She's moving dangerously close to my core as she places soft kisses up my thigh and just when I think she's finally going to touch me Im proven wrong. She skips over my center and kisses her way back up to my lips. When she reaches my lips I feel her body collapse on mine. Feeling her everywhere and having every inch of her pressed against me is intoxicating. Her skin is hot and sweaty matching my own. Im so lost in the moment I almost don't notice how Reagan's breasts are grazing mine but as her nipple brushes against my own Im brought back. She kisses me hard and I can't take anymore. The heat is growing between us. With every swipe of her tongue and every movement of her roaming hands, I fall further into the rabbit hole and I never want to escape. I just want to keep falling.

**Reagan POV**

I love Amy but right now I don't want to listen to her. I want to take this slow. Even though it's agonizing, I don't want to dive in. I want to show her how much I love her by showing her I don't need to fuck her to be with her. I want to look back on today and say it was the best day of my life and I won't be able to say that if its over before anything even started. You can't just go from zero to sixty. You want a build up. That way when you get there you're ready.

As I kiss Amy and massage her tongue with my own, I let my hands wander, sliding through the small gap between our bodies. I let them knead and caress the warm, tingling skin of her breasts and let them trail soft touches down her torso towards her core. As I inch closer to her entrance I can hear Amy's breathing deepen and I can feel her body rise and fall rapidly. Her hands rake against my back when my fingers finally find their destination and begin to circle her entrance. I have her right where I want her and it's pleasurable that I can bring her to this point. But I want to take her further. I insert one finger and begin to thrust as my free hand makes its way back to her breasts. Feeling her tongue in my mouth, her breast beneath my hand and her warmth surrounding my finger, is enough to make me cum on the spot, but I want to rise and fall with her. I start to increase the speed of my finger and insert another, knowing I can't last much longer. Amy moans at the new pressure and I take the opportunity to remove my tongue from her mouth and latch on to her chest, nibbling and sucking it gently. Im in awe of how wet Amy is and how wet she's making me without her even touching me. I know she's getting close but, there's still so much I want her to feel before she releases. Im feeling brave and remove my fingers. Bringing them up to my mouth as Amy watches and suck them clean. I guess you can call it a preview of what's to come.

Placing both hands on the sides of her body I begin to place open mouth kisses straight down her body before wrapping my hands around her thighs and spreading them giving me better access. I can feel Amy's eyes burning into me but, I don't let it stop me and bring my face closer to her folds. I let my tongue slide out of my mouth and begin to lick, letting the palm of my free had find her clit in the process.

I delve my tongue inside of her unable to hold back my need and desire for her. As I swirl and flick my tongue inside of her I'm able to taste her fully for the first time and I can't get enough. She tastes so sweet and I find myself getting lost in her taste and the feeling of my tongue inside her, causing me to lose my rhythm I created with the palm of my hand against her clitoris. I can feel myself getting close and I know Amy can't be to far behind from the noises escaping her mouth and the nails gripping the sheets . As much as I would love to stay positioned between Amy's thighs with her hips pushing up against my lips and tongue, I want to see her come undone and I know I can't exactly accomplish that from where I am. Reluctantly I pull back my tongue from her warmth and replace it with two fingers. I can feel her walls constricting and tightening as my fingers go deeper inside of her and I feel a sense of relief that I retracted when I did. There's no way in hell I want to miss staring into her green orbs when I finish her off and If I would have stayed I would have missed it. When I finally get positioned and make my way back up to Amy as my fingers continue to press into her I notice her eyes are locked shut and her hands have moved from the sheets to my back, clinging tightly to my skin.

I slow my pace, trying to gage Amy, wanting to finish when she does, but, I can't prolong the inevitable much longer.

"Rea. I can't handle much more."

There it is confirmation. Now Im just missing one thing.

"Open your eyes."

She doesn't listen and I watch as her back arches off the ground and the sweetest sound escapes her lips as I push deeper inside of her.

"I want to see you. I want to see you come undone."

I watch as her eyes shoot open at my words. I want to see the affect I have on her. Sure I've been watching her responses all night, but, right now everything is falling on this one singular moment. I continue to pump, occasionally curling my fingers and pressing against her. I can feel her walls closing in on my fingers, constricting them in place. I thrust my fingers in once more, knowing she's going to fall any second. Her hips are pushing up against my fingers erratically, ruining the rhythm we created together. She's falling and falling fast. I can feel a wave of warmth overtake my fingers as Amy's walls begin to contract as I hit her sensitive patch of nerves. Watching her fall is mesmerizing and Im captivated. I can feel her body shake and her muscles tighten beneath my own. She's pulsating against my fingers and and against the rest of my body. The sensation pushing me over the ledge. I let myself fall into the feeling as shockwaves ripple through my body, completely letting go, I let myself ride out my orgasm with Amy.

I've never felt more awake then I do now. I let myself bask in the afterglow of the euphoric, mind-blowing moment that I just experienced. Im just laying here, anchored to Amy, aching in all the right ways, watching and waiting for her, but, I find myself not being able to wait. I want to have her body pressed completely against mine again, so I let my body give way, collapsing onto Amy's heaving body completely out of breath and drunk off of everything that is her. Her sweat laced skin is glistening under the light of the stars and candles and it's honestly one of the most beautiful sights I have ever seen. All I want to do is lay here wrapped up in her the rest of the night and into the morning.

"Rea. That was-"

"I know."

We sit in silence for a moment, my body still resting on Amy's. I can hear her heart beating, its soothing and gravitating. Somehow laying here listening to the rhythmic beats echoing through her chest is the perfect way to end tonight. I don't need anything from Amy. She's already given me more than I could have ever imaged, so, laying here innocently draped over her body is honestly the best thing she could give me and it's Heaven. I mean if I had to describe Heaven, it would be this moment, with this girl.

I move my ear off her chest and replace it with my chin as I stare up at her.

"Thank you for bringing us here and turning our night around. You've given me one of the greatest days of my life."

"One of the greatest and not "THE" greatest? Whats a girl got to do to take that spot?'

"There is no spot, it's filled."

"And what day is so great that it's somehow better then today?"

I can hear the sarcasm in her voice and it's amusing. I find it kind of funny that she has no clue that the best day of my life is a day that I spent with her.

"The day you told me that you love me."

I watch her as a smile takes over her face and I lift my body off hers enough so Im able to reach her lips. Placing the gentlest of kisses to her swollen lips I look to her eyes and let the only three words that hold value in this moment escape from my mouth.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

After everything that has happened tonight, and everything that has fallen out of Amy's mouth to be caught by my ears, that statement is my favorite.

I roll myself off of Amy as our words settle between us and begin to pull her into my side so we can fall asleep with her in my arms, but, it seems like she has a different plan as she rolls herself on top me straddling my waist. I stare at her a moment before she bends down towards my ear and lets the smallest of whispers escape her lips.

"My Turn."

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**I really hope you liked it! I apologize again for the constant switching of POV. I wanted it to stay in Reagan's POV the whole chapter but half way through I realized that I would be leaving to much out and now I hope you can see why I did it. T****hanks again for being patient with me. Hoping to post the next chapter sometime next week!**


	23. Chapter 23

**I was not going to post this until later this week,but, I received some feedback from my last chapter and felt like I should post this now because of what was said.**

**Those of you who PMed me saying you didn't "appreciate" the last chapter and won't continue reading because of it, I am sorry you feel that way, but, that chapter needed to happen for the progression/development of the characters and story. With that being said, I really hope you continue reading and won't let one chapter determine your opinion of this story.**

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**Amy POV**

I had sex. I mean I had sex before but I had sex with Reagan! And it was amazing! I just hope it was equally as amazing for her as it was for me. I don't want her to be disappointed with everything that happened or didn't happen. As I open my eyes I notice Reagan is still sleeping and I do my best not to wake her but it's hard considering her head is on my chest and her arms are wrapped around my waist. I carefully free one of my arms and bring my hand to Reagan's face, carefully pushing back the fallen hair behind her ear. She looks so beautiful and I know that sounds so cliche but I honestly can't describe her any other way right now. I wish I could wake up like this everyday. Sure I've woken up to Reagan before but nothing like this. This is on a whole new level. I can't even explain it.

_"I can feel your eyes on me."_

_"Sorry. I can't help it."_

_"Considering what happened last night I'll let you slide. But next time is a different story."_

Reagan hates that I watch her sleep if I happen to wake up before her. But I honestly could care less. It's the only time I can actually look at her. Sure I steal glances throughout the day but this is the only time I can really look.

_"About last night..."_

_"Last night was perfect."_

_"Really?!"_

_"Really. I wouldn't change a thing."_

_"You don't have to lie. I know I wasn't that great."_

I watch as she moves her head off my chest and looks up at me.

_"Amy. I'm not lying. I loved last night. In fact I would love a repeat of last night right now, but since we have to head back home soon, I would love a raincheck."_

I can't tell if Reagan's lying or not. I know she was amazing last night but I'm a whole nother story. It was basically a lesson the whole time, with her being the teacher and me being the student, and boy was that lesson very educational. I mean I understand. She's had experience and I.. well I've been on a friendly basis with a little something in the back of my sock drawer. And let's face it that definitely does not compare to the real thing. And it definitely doesn't compare to Reagan.

_"Hey. I know that look and you need to get rid of it. Stop over analyzing everything. I promise, you were great. Now let's get going before your mom kills me for having you out all night and into the morning."_

_"She probably hasn't even noticed I'm still gone."_

_"I'm sure she has and the last thing I need is to be on Farrah's bad side. I need her to like me or I'm never going to be able to spend the night, or keep you out late. And we both know after last night that, that is not even an option."_

_"Fine. I guess I'll have to use that raincheck a different time."_

_"First of all that's my raincheck and second of all, you were just freaking out that you weren't 'good' and now you want to go for another round?!"_

_"Practice makes perfect, right?"_

_"You're unbelievable."_

_"I know. But you love me,so you accept it."_

_"I do love you, but, that doesn't mean I have to accept anything!"_

**Reagan POV**

I wasn't lying when I told Amy she was great. I meant it. I can tell she doesn't believe me though. I know she's thinking about how I've had more experience but you really can't compare one experience to another, it's different with everyone. And with Amy, I can't even describe how it was. It was different than Brooke, different than Charlotte. It felt right. Every kiss, every touch, every taste, it all just felt like home. Like nothing else mattered. And I've never felt that way with someone before. And if this is how I feel after our first time together I'm in for a rude awakening.

**Amy POV**

It's been about an hour since Reagan dropped me off at my house and I already miss her. But I don't want to call. I don't want to be one of those girlfriends you hear about, that become really clingy after sex. I'm at a loss for what I should do and honestly at this point there's only one person that can help.

_"Karma."_

_"Hey! How'd everything go last night?"_

_"It went. We fought. Then we made up. Then we had sex."_

_"You guys had sex?! Tell me everything! How'd it happen? How was it? Did you like it? On second thought, don't answer that last one."_

_"We were watching the stars, waiting for them to disappear, so we could see the sun rise. The next thing I know is she's telling me she doesn't want to wait anymore. And it just happened. The thing is I don't know how it was. I know I-"_

_"Enjoyed it?"_

_"Yeah. But I don't know if she did."_

_"Did she say it was bad?"_

_"Not exactly."_

_"What do you mean, not exactly?"_

_"She said it was perfect."_

_"So what's the problem?"_

_"I don't know. She's just had more experience and it wasn't exactly how I pictured. I guess it's just naïve of me to think that my first time with Reagan would be this big transcendent experience."_

_"Amy. It didn't have to be a huge transcendent experience. And you're not naïve. Trust me. If she said it was amazing you need to believe her."_

_"I know. I just-."_

_"Stop. You always do this. Stop over thinking everything. Stop comparing one experience to another. Get out of your head. If you don't you're going to ruin whatever last night was, okay?"_

_"Okay."_

_"Good. Now hang up this phone and go be with your girlfriend. Or at least just call her. You need to talk to her more than me."_

**Karma POV**

I'm glad Amy had an amazing date with Reagan. It just breaks my heart that they slept together. I was kind of holding out hope that they wouldn't because if they didn't it meant their relationship wasn't evolving and that I still had a chance. Now though I know that my chances with Amy are dwindling. I know how Amy feels about sex and if she made the decision to have it she's committed and in it for the long haul. And right now I just can't handle thinking that Reagan is it for her. And if she's having regrets and over analyzing what happened I know that's my only opportunity to try. It's a glimmer of hope and I'm taking it. I know Amy needs time to process things and if she doesn't get that she tends to throw herself under the bus. So I guess you can say I'm feeding her to the wolves by telling her to talk to Reagan now. But at the same time I know Reagan is the only one that can talk her down from whatever bridge she wants to jump off. And I know deep down Amy needs to talk to her and figure out things. It's not just about what I want right now. It's about what Amy needs and I need to learn to deal with that and put her before myself for once.

**Amy POV**

Karma's right. I need to be with Reagan. I need to let her know why I freaked out and was over analyzing everything. I didn't even bother calling I just grabbed my phone and started walking. As much as I know I need process things, I know I need to talk to Reagan more.

Knocking on the door felt like I was drowning. I just needed Reagan to open the door so I could breathe again.

_"It took you long enough."_

Now I'm confused. Did she know I was coming? Did I tell her I was coming over?

_"I knew you would be coming over eventually. I had a feeling you wanted to continue our conversation from earlier."_

I don't know how she does it. She almost is getting as good as Karma with knowing me and it's scaring me a little.

_"Well are you going to come in, or are you just going to stand there and stare at me?"_

_"Sorry. I just got lost in my thoughts."_

_"You seem to be doing that a lot lately."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Well, let's see if we can get you out of your head for a little so we can talk."_

_"Okay."_

I followed Reagan through the door and down the hall to her bedroom.

_"Why are we talking in your room?"_

_"I'll explain later. Just sit down."_

I follow her instructions and sit on her bed. I have to admit I feel a little weird sitting on her bed after what happened.

_"So...-"_

_"So."_

_"You got a little freaked out this morning."_

_"Yeah."_

_"Amy. I'm going to need more than one word responses here."_

_"I know. I'm sorry. I just don't know where to start."_

_"Start with why. What happened that got you freaking out over us being together?"_

_"It's not that I freaked out over us being together. I loved being with you. It's just that I didn't know how you felt about it and that's what scared me. It also wasn't what I expected it to be, which didn't help the situation either."_

_"First of all, I told you, last night was perfect. So, I don't get why you don't believe me. I can honestly say last night was one of the greatest days of my life and I told you that last night. Being with you, like that was...god I can't even explain it. It wasn't just sex to me Amy. Brooke and Charlotte were just sex. You were so much more. I don't know how I can make you believe that. Secondly, what do you mean that it wasn't what you expected?"_

_"I always had this idea that if you were in love with someone, sleeping with them would be this whole transcendent experience, and I didn't have that, and I don't know what that means."_

_"It means whatever you want it to mean. I'm not going to tell you what something is supposed to mean, but, I will tell you that, you shouldn't have expectations for something you never experienced. I've been there. Trust me. It doesn't always end well. I love you, Amy. I really do. And I want you to have that experience, but, you are never going to have it if you're stuck in your head."_

_"I love you too, Rea. And I did enjoy last night. I just thought it would be different. That's all."_

_"Look. I don't want things to be weird between us. I don't want you being in my room, on my bed, to be an issue. I want you to feel comfortable with me. I want you-"_

_"I do feel comfortable. It's not an issue being here with you. It's an issue that I'm feeling like something's wrong when it's not. I have a habit of sabotaging relationships without even really trying and it doesn't help that I don't exactly have the greatest examples in my life to try to aspire to. I mean my mom is on marriage number three, there's probably going to be a fourth or fifth in the future. I-"_

_"Is that what this is about? You're worried that you're going to sabotage us?"_

_"I guess."_

_"Amy. You're not sabotaging us. The only way you're going to sabotage us is, if you stop doing what you're doing. I'll be worried about us when you stop trying and when you stop being open with me. You are not your mother. So stop worrying that you'll be like her. Stop thinking that what we have is going to inevitably end. If you have that mindset that's what's going to make you like Farrah."_

It's at that moment I realize it wasn't about not having that transcendent moment, because, I did have it. I just didn't want to admit it, because admitting it would mean our relationship is actually something more than a lapse of time or a place holder. Sure we've already said the _"I love yous"_ but sleeping together really put our relationship in perspective and that scared me more anything.

**Reagan POV**

After the words left my mouth you literally could hear a pin drop. I don't know if Amy was trying to process what I said or if she just couldn't find the words to say something back. She just sat there, shifting her gaze to everything in the room except for me.

_"I don't think that."_

Finally. Something. Thank god. I don't think I could have handled another minute of silence.

_"Think what?"_

_"That we're going to inevitably end. I know you're always going to be in my life. And if you're in my life, we can't end."_

_"You really believe that?"_

_"I do now. And maybe I did before but I just kept getting lost in everything else that is in my life."_

_"I don't want you to get lost. But, you know if you do get lost you know I'll find you, right?"_

_"I do. I'll always want you to find me and bring me back."_

_"And if I get lost?"_

_"I'll be there."_

_"I like the sound of that."_

_"Yeah. Me too."_

_"Come on. Let's get out of here and do something. Just us. No worries. No distractions. No getting lost."_

As I look to her waiting for a response I notice she looks a little caught off guard. Almost like she doesn't want to go anywhere with me.

_"Can I just lay here for a few minutes."_

Great. We have this_ "big"_ talk and finally get things out in the open and all she wants to do is be alone.

_"Sure. I'll be in the kitchen if you need me."_

_"No. I want you to lay here with me."_

I look to her as she lays down in my bed and extends her hand out for me to take. As soon as my hand meets hers, she's pulling me into her. I climb into bed and lay behind her and wrap my arm around her waist being careful to still keep our fingers tangled. As I move closer to her, pressing my body into hers in a tight embrace I hear her let out a sigh and feel her body relax into my touch.

_"We're going to be okay, right?"_

_"Yeah, Amy. We're going to be okay."_

I'm not lying I know we're going to be okay it's just going to take a little work and time. I can't expect our relationship to be perfect. We're going to have our fair share of issues and this is just one of them. It's one I don't want to have, but, I know this is a big deal for Amy and it's one we can't just sweep under the rug and act like nothing has happened. So, I'm willing to do anything to make her comfortable and put her mind at ease. I can't lose her and I don't want to lose her. So if all she wants to do is lay here in my bed, wrapped in my arms, you are going to be damn sure I'll be there every time. The sex thing will come eventually. Not that this was even about sex. It was about bad timing and issues that have nothing to do with our relationship and everything to do with another. So I guess I just have to wait. Wait and see if Amy is capable of separating my relationship with her from the one she has with her mom and the one she has with Karma. Because let's be honest, she and I both know she was talking about Karma when she said she has a habit of sabotaging relationships without even trying.


	24. Chapter 24

**Though Faking It has been cancelled, it is not the end for the show. I believe Faking It will live on and continue to inspire and cause change. Though it won't grace our television screens anymore, we have the opportunity to keep the characters and show alive here. I don't know about you but I'm plan on doing just that. With that being said here is the newest chapter! I hope you enjoy!**

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**Reagan POV**

It's been two weeks since our six month anniversary and our little incident and things with Amy and I, have definitely been...better? I confronted her about her worries about us, being more to do with Karma then her mom and let's just say that didn't go so well. She said I was crazy and I didn't know what I was talking about. But I did. And she eventually admitted it to herself and to me.

Since then you can say we've been careful not to step on each others toes. We've both been selective with our choice of words, our actions towards each other and our actions when we aren't even around one another. It's stressful to say the least. I don't want to tip toe around things in my relationship. I've been there and I don't want to go back. I just want us to get back on track. But at this point I don't even know if a track exists. We've been so up and down since we started dating and it's tiring. I just want to get to a place where we can coast and enjoy each other without the fights, the worries, the complications. Which is why I'm here, on my computer, searching for a place I can whisk Amy away to. We need to get away from Austin, away from distractions, away from the people. I already have everything set in motion. Amy's mom agreed to letting me take her away while she's on break, I have our bags packed, I have everything set. All I need to do is decide where to go and... to tell Amy.

_"Hey are you almost here?"_

_"Yeah. I'm walking up now. Remind me again why you wanted me to come over so early? It's not even light outside yet."_

_"Because I love you and I wanted to see you before I left."_

I told Amy I was going out of town for a week and that I wanted to see her before I left. I wouldn't have gotten her to leave her bed this early unless it was for something important. And let's face it she can't let me leave without saying goodbye.

_"Do you really have to leave?"_

I don't even have a chance to respond before I hear a knock on the door. As I open the door and see her face I regret tricking her into coming over. She looks exhausted. Almost as if she hasn't slept in days.

_"Well."_

_"Well, what?"_

_"Do you really have to leave me."_

_"I do. But-"_

_"You do know this is going to be the longest we've ever been apart."_

_"Amy, it's only a week and besides you're-"_

_"A week is so long though."_

I can't even keep a straight face. I just keep smiling and laughing at Amy's puppy dog face. It takes everything in me to stop so I can talk to her. But I fail miserably and laugh through all my words.

_"Would you stop interrupting me and wipe that pout off your face I'm trying to tell you something here and if you keep looking at me like that I'm never going to be able to tell you."_

_"Tell me what?"_

_"That you're coming with me."_

**Amy POV**

Did I hear Reagan right? I'm going with her? Does she not realize I look like crap right now and that I don't even have a bag packed?

_"Reagan. I can't go with you. You leave in like an hour, I look like crap and I don't even have a bag pac-. Where are you going? Okay then, just walk away mid-conversation it's cool."_

I watch as she disappears into her bedroom and emerges a few seconds later with two suitcases and the biggest smile on her face.

_"First of all you look beautiful. And secondly this is yours."_

I look down as she points to one of the suitcases.

_"How did you-?"_

_"Your mom let me raid your room so I could surprise you."_

I don't even know what to say. I'm speechless.

_"So, will you come with me?"_

_"Where are we going?"_

_"I don't know. I kind of was hoping we could just hop in my truck and drive and see where we end up. I had a few ideas in mind of where to go but I like the idea of getting lost with you a little more."_

_"Getting lost sounds perfect."_

I watch as she smiles at me and all I want is to kiss her. And I do. Leaning in and capturing her lips with mine is something I will never get used to.

_"You're amazing! You know that, right? I mean to plan all of this for me, for us, is unbelievable."_

_"We needed this. Plus, what's better than to spend one whole week with your gorgeous girlfriend, completely unsupervised."_

_"Are you calling me gorgeous? Or yourself gorgeous?"_

_"Definitely, you. I mean, you in those sweat pants alone-"_

I don't even let her finish. I just press my lips into hers. I honestly would be happily content spending a week cooped up in her apartment, but, a week away from everything and everyone, just me and her together sounds so much better. It's like we're running away together and it feels amazing. The question is where do we run to.

After double checking Reagan's packing of my bag and taking out of few things and me making her take me home so I can grab a few more, we were on the road.

_"So, what direction are we heading in?"_

_"East?"_

_"East sounds perfect."_

Even though I'm only a few feet away from Reagan, I feel like she's so far away. I know. Cliche, right? But I can't help it. So, no matter how uncomfortable I am and will be, sitting in the middle, i'm inching my body towards that spot, because all I want to do is to be close to her. I want to wrap my arm around her waist. I want to hold her free hand. I want to rest my head on her shoulder. I want her. As I nuzzle myself into her side I let our fingers interlock and fall to her thigh. Every move we make feels so natural and I absolutely love it.

* * *

Time seems to be still, sitting here next to Reagan. We've been driving for hours, but, it feels like minutes have passed by since pulling out of my driveway. Being with her is like hitting the pause button on everything except each other.

We decided to escape the little world we created in her truck, when we got to Dallas. A part of me wants to see the city that Lauren grew up in and to explore that city with Reagan, seems perfect. And the other part honestly just wants food.

_"So how long do you want to stay in Dallas?"_

_"Maybe just an hour or two? We can take a trip to Dallas anytime. I just want to see where Lauren grew up. And I'd rather not spend any more time in Texas then we have to. I mean that is the point of leaving Austin, right?"_

_"The point of leaving Austin was to get away from everything and everyone in Austin, and just be with each other, and we can do that here."_

_"True. But where's the adventure if we just stay in Texas the whole time."_

_"Good point. A couple hours it is."_

I can definitely see where Lauren gets her personality. Dallas is so her or I guess the old her. She's changed so much this past year. I honestly can say I can't picture her being happy here anymore. Dallas is all glitz and glam and though Lauren is all about wanting to be in the spotlight, I can't picture her here, but, it's nice to see where she came from.

I like wandering the streets of a city filled with people that don't know us. It's refreshing. Dallas definitely isn't what I expected, not that I had many expectations to begin with, but, I hate to say it but I was a little nervous stopping here with Reagan after hearing how conservative the city is. But being here, in the hustle and bustle of it all, I can see my preconceived notion isn't entirely true. Sure we've gotten a few looks walking hand in hand, but, you get those looks everywhere. And if it wasn't for my hatred of people and big cities I could see myself being okay here. I mean I wouldn't live here, but, I would be okay.

Leaving Dallas feels different than leaving Austin. It hurts a little more. I don't know if that has to do with me wanting to stay, the idea that everything I love (minus Reagan, of course) are hundreds of miles away and that finally sinking in, or the fact that in a few hours I'm going to be leaving everything I've ever known. I'll be gone only a week, but, a week is a long time. It's the longest I've ever been away from home, away from my family, away from her. Yeah. I know. This trip is supposed to be about getting away from all of that. Especially the 'her', but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt and it doesn't mean that it's not hard leaving. I'm with Reagan though, so that helps with the heartache. Her being next to me is the only thing keeping me from asking to turn around and go back home. Mainly because she is part of that home, and to have her here with me is as close as I'm going to get to home for a while. So as we make our way over that Texas boarder, I make sure to hold on to Reagan a little tighter and let myself drift off to sleep, so the pain of leaving will be more bearable.

* * *

_"How long have I been sleeping?"_

_"About four hours."_

_"And you haven't stopped?"_

_"No."_

_"Reagan. You've been driving nonstop. You need to take a break and get some sleep. Come on. Pull over. We can get a hotel room and start again in the morning."_

_"You do realize it's only like 6pm right?"_

_"I do. Do you realize we've been up since 5am?"_

_"You just slept for four hours."_

_"But you didn't. Now pull over."_

_"You're not going to drop this until I pull over, right?"_

_"Yepp."_

_"How about we make a compromise?"_

_"What kind of compromise?"_

_"How about you drive for a few hours to let me get some sleep? That way I get the sleep you want me to have and I get what I want by not stopping."_

_"You're going to let me drive your truck? You hate letting other people drive your truck."_

_"Yes. And you're not "other people". So what do you say?"_

_"A couple hours and that's it then we're getting a hotel."_

_"Fine."_

I drive for not even twenty minutes and I already can hear Reagan snoring beside me. I'm not going to follow through with our compromise. It's pretty clear we're both exhausted. She can yell at me all she wants but, we're getting a room.

**Reagan POV**

I hate to admit it, but, I'm glad Amy got us a room. Im exhausted and I know she is too. I don't know what I was thinking, asking her to drive a couple more hours. I mean we covered a lot of ground. We made it through Texas and Arkansas and its been less than a day. I don't know exactly where we are going but we're off to a good start and I can't wait to see where tomorrow takes us. For right now though all I want to do is lay her with my girl in my arms.

_"Rea?"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Thanks for asking me to come with you, for planning this whole trip. You really are amazing. You know that, right?"_

_"I had an idea."_

_"Your ego astounds me sometimes."_

_"Yeah, but, it's one of the many reasons why you love me."_

_"I never said that."_

_"You don't have to say it. I just know."_

_"Just like you knew you weren't tired and could totally still drive another few hours?"_

_"Touche"_

I like how Amy can throw sarcastic remarks right back at me. Witty banter is one of my favorite things about our relationship. At the same time though we know when to be serious and I love that aspect of us too. We have all these different sides and layers to our relationship and I never would have expected to find that with someone at such a young age let alone find that at all. I really lucked out that she waltzed back into my life. I don't know where I would be if she didn't.

_"So, I was thinking that tomorrow we could drive through Tennessee and set up shop in North Carolina. Maybe see the ocean?"_

_"That sounds perfect. But, have I ever told you I'm afraid of the ocean?"_

_"You're afraid of the ocean?"_

_"Who isn't afraid of the ocean?"_

_"You're serious right now?"_

_"Yeah. Me and water aren't the greatest of friends. Especially water that you can't see what's swimming underneath it."_

_"So, have you ever actually been in the ocean then?"_

_"No and I'm not planning on it anytime soon."_

_"Will you go in if I promise to protect you?"_

"I like the idea of you protecting me."

"So, is that a yes then?"

"Maybe."

"Maybe?"

"Yes."

_"Yes, maybe. Or yes, yes?"_

_"Yes, Yes."_

_"Im holding you to that Raudenfeld."_

_"I hope you do."_

I like the idea of me being Amy's protector and being the person that makes her escape her shell. I know she's stuck in her ways with a lot of things but I feel like I'm changing that and the fact that she's letting me, is amazing. It gives me more reason to look forward to tomorrow.

* * *

**Amy POV**

_"__I feel like we__'ve been driving forever. Where are we? __Why are you laughing?__"_

_"We've only been in the car three hours!"_

_"So?"_

_"So, three hours isn't a long time. I can't help but to laugh at the idea of forever being three hours."_

_"It is when you're hungry and your girlfriend doesn't like to talk in the morning."_

_"You're always hungry and if I remember correctly you're not exactly a morning person either."_

_"Can we please just stop?"_

_"Where about 30 minutes outside of Nashville. How about we stop there?"_

_"I can't go to Nashville."_

_"Why?"_

_"I promised Karma if we ever left Texas we would go to Nashville together. She's always had this idea of playing in a coffee shop or bar there. So, I promised her we'd make that happen. I can't go there without her."_

_"You're joking right?"_

_"Please Rea. We can go anywhere else. I just can't go without her. It wouldn't be right."_

_"Fine. But you owe me."_

_"I think I know a few ways I can repay you."_

_"I'm holding you to that, Shrimp Girl."_

_"You haven't called me that in months. It's nice hearing it again."_

_"I thought I'd get a little nostalgic."_

I smile back at her. The idea that she considers my nickname nostalgic is cute.

_"Okay. Since Nashville is off the table where do you want to stop?"_

_"Where are we now?"_

_"To be honest, I have no clue."_

_"Then let's stop here."_

_"Amy, this is just some small town. There's nothing to do here."_

_"Of course there is. I'm here with you, which means there's something to do. I don't need to go to big cities to have a good time. I have you and that's all I need. Besides small towns have charm and they're quirky. They're like the diamond in the ruff."_

_"You're unbelievable."_

_"What?"_

_"Only you would enjoy stopping in a town that's probably the population of your high school."_

_"I do better with less people. I would be happily content living in a small town. I like quiet."_

_"So what would be your ideal city to live in?"_

_"I actually really like Austin and wouldn't mind living there, but, I would pick a place more so because of the people there then the actual city."_

_" So you would be okay living anywhere just as long as you're living there with someone you like."_

_"Yeah. The people you're with make a place a home not the actual city."_

_"How did you come up with that idea?"_

_"Karma."_

_"Karma?"_

_"Yeah. Every time someone asked me where home was, my answer was always her. It wasn't a street name or a city, it was just Karma."_

_"Will that ever change?"_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Will Karma ever not be your home."_

_"She'll always be part of my home, but, I'm learning slowly that she's not my whole home anymore."_

_"And what is?"_

_"Part of it is my mom, another part is Lauren (and by extension Bruce), a big part is Karma, and then there's you. You're making me rethink where I call home, "home"."_

_"I like that. I want to be your home. Even if I am a small piece of it."_

_"You'll never be a small piece. You mean to much to me to be reduced to something minuscule."_

I know Reagan doesn't like the idea that I consider Karma to be my home, but, I'm not going to pretend like she's not. She's been the only thing that has stayed constant my whole life. She's the thing that has never changed. It makes sense to call her my home. At the same time, Im learning your home doesn't always stay the same and if this past year has taught me anything, it's that.

**Reagan POV**

I honestly don't even know what to say. Having Amy tell me I mean something to her that can't be reduced to or compared to something small, is amazing. It feels good to know that maybe one day I'll be what Amy considers home.

I'm glad Amy forced us to stop here, in this dinky town. Sure, there's absolutely nothing to do here or see, but, it gave us the opportunity to talk and just enjoy us. I can see why Amy likes the small town life. It's peaceful. You can get lost in thought and in each other without even trying. I'll never admit it to her, but, this town that I don't even know the name of is my favorite thing about the trip so far. And even though we only stayed an hour, time just seemed to freeze here and as much as I would love to stay, it's time to move forward and step foot in more new places.

As we drive through Nashville I look over at Amy and I can tell she's thankful she can keep her promise to Karma. As much as I would have loved to see the city with her I know it's more important for her to see it with someone else and I'm okay with that. The rest of the drive was pretty uneventful. We decided not to stop until we got into North Carolina and to be able to do that with a very hungry Amy in my truck is quite the accomplishment. We really didn't have a destination in North Carolina we just knew we wanted to be there. So after a little over four hours of driving and stopping more times then I can count on my fingers because I had Amy in the truck and we both knew that whole no stopping for food thing would only last five minutes we finally arrived and we weren't sure where to go.

_"So, where too?"_

_"You said you wanted to take me to the ocean. So, lets drive until we see it."_

_"I knew there was a reason why I like you."_

_"Just like?"_

_"For now."_

_"Hey! You already told me you loved me, you can't take that back!"_

_"I would never want to take it back."_

_"Good."_

We aren't that far from the ocean but driving there feels like its taking forever and its getting pretty late.

_"Hey what do you say we stay the night here? It's getting late and I'm honestly getting tired of driving. We can get up early and drive the rest of the way tomorrow and spend the whole day on the beach."_

_"Im perfectly fine stopping wherever and whenever you want."_

I want to make tomorrow special for Amy. I don't want her to be disappointed. I don't want her to be scared of the ocean anymore. I know that's a lot to ask from one day, but, I want to hold onto hope. I want her to know whatever scares her she doesn't have to face alone. I want her to know I will always be by her side.

* * *

_"Are you ready?"_

_"Not really. What if there's sharks?"_

_"Amy. It's the ocean, there are going to be sharks."_

_"You're supposed to tell me there are no sharks."_

_"No. Im supposed to tell you that __there are. I don't want to lie to you. I won't lie to you."_

_"Ever?"_

_"Ever."_

_"What if-"_

_"Stop with the 'What ifs'. __You don't have to face your fears alone. __Im right here and I'm not going anywhere. I promise nothing will happen to you. I won't let anything happen to you."_

_"Anything?"_

_"Anything. As long as I'm in your life, Im going to be next to you, protecting you, pushing you to face your fears, holding your hand through the good, the bad, the scary and the unknown and as long as I'm doing that, nothing will happen to you, because I love you, and I never want you to be afraid, to be hurt, to be broken or to be alone."_

_"I never want you to be any of those things either.'_

_"Then take my hand and come in the ocean with me."_

Im glad Amy let herself take my hand. Im glad she held on like nothing else in the world mattered. Im glad she faced her fear. I mean we aren't going to be taking trips to the ocean anytime soon, but, I'm glad we made this trip. I honestly don't think Amy will ever step foot in an ocean again, but, she knows now more then ever that I'll be there and that I'll never let her face anything alone.

It's funny how something so small as going into the ocean, can seem like something so big, and can become something larger then anything imaginable. Amy's my ocean. She's my thing that's something bigger then anything imaginable. And if I never made her take my hand I don't think I would have ever realized that.

* * *

Even though our bubble is about to get popped because, being in Austin means being by Karma, I can say that I'm okay with it, because, this trip has honestly been some of the best days of my life and Im sad we had to go back. Austin is great, but, to be able to get away and experience things we wouldn't have if we stayed in Texas has been life changing. Ive learned so many new things about Amy and have seen sides of her I never have and it has been eyeopening. Knowing there is so much more to learn about one another is like saying everyday is your birthday, because each day you get this little gift that just puts the biggest smile on your face. I like having that smile. No. I love having that smile and I wish I never stop learning new things. I always want there to be something that surprises me about her.

So, I'll sit here and watch and let the bubble get popped, because, I know that we can always make a new bubble and that she will never be apart of it and that's comforting and amazing and beautiful.


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay so here's the time jump I've been telling you about! I hope you like it! Sorry that this chapter is shorter. I wanted to keep it simple and not add things that were unnecessary. Enjoy!**

* * *

**Amy POV**

One year. I can't believe one year has passed since Reagan and I became girlfriends. Sure things have been challenging and we've had our fair share of fights but I couldn't be happier for where we are. For our anniversary we decided to go back where it all started. We didn't want to do anything extravagant. We just wanted the day to be 100% about us. No distractions. No big over the top gestures. Just us.

We really haven't been to Belles in a while, so, it's nice to be back again. To be able to share memories. That's all we really want out of today anyways. To remember what brought us here. To remember how we became an '_us'_. To remember why we are an '_us_'. I think we kind of lost sight of that over this past year. So being here is like coming home.

As we walk into the restaurant we take a seat in our normal booth. It's practically empty in here so we pretty much have the whole place to ourselves. It's weird being here with her. This is honestly our first time back since our big fight we had when we first started dating. And to be honest I still can't get over the fact that her family owns it.

We're not even sitting down five minutes when the waitress brings us our food. Reagan must have told them we were coming because we didn't even order anything.

_"I called ahead, and ordered your favorite so we didn't have to wait."_

_"I wouldn't have minded waiting. Why are you in such a rush?"_

_"I'm not. I just have some things I want to do with you today and I want to make sure we have enough time to do them all."_

_"That's rushing. I don't want to rush Rea. I just want to enjoy today with you. We talked about this, remember? Just us. Nothing extravagant."_

_"I remember."_

_"So, we will take our time?"_

_"We will take our time."_

Im a little angry Reagan had things planned today. We were supposed to live in the moment. See what the day would bring us. It wasn't supposed to be this grand celebration. It was supposed to be simple. That way we could focus on what's important; us. I just hope she understands and will just be here with me instead of being stuck in her head worrying about what we're going to do next.

**Reagan POV**

I know I promised Amy today wasn't going to be this huge ordeal. But I planned out the whole day. I wanted it to be perfect for Amy.

_"Are you ready?"_

_"Rea. We just finished eating. I want to stay here and talk."_

_"If we stay any longer we're going to be late."_

_"Late for what?"_

_"I told you I had some things I wanted to do with you. Come on lets go."_

_"Go by yourself. I'm staying here."_

_"Amy."_

_"Don't 'Amy' me. I told you exactly what I wanted this day to be about and you totally ignored everything I said."_

_"I just wanted today to be perfect."_

_"Well, I hate to break it to you but you ruined that."_

_"I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention."_

_"It's fine. Can we just go back to your place?"_

_"Yeah. Let's go."_

The last thing I wanted was to ruin this for Amy. I just hope she'll at least accept what I have waiting for her at my apartment. I don't want to end today on a bad note.

**Amy POV**

I know Reagan's intentions were good and I'm not mad at for planning something for me. I'm mad at her for the fact that she didn't listen. I just hope when we get to her apartment we can get today back on track. The drive back to her place was silent and I just sat there staring out the window. When she parks her truck I don't even wait for her to turn off the ignition before hoping out and making my way inside. I'm about to open the door to her place when she grabs my hand before I can push the door open. I didn't even know she was that close behind me to be honest.

_"Okay. I know we promised, no extravagant or big gestures today, but, I kind of already had this one planned for a while. So don't be mad at me. I've honestly have been working on it for months. I want you to be able to look back on this day and remember more than just going to Belles. I wanted to make today special."_

_"Reagan, today is already special. I don't need some big gesture for you to prove that to me. I loved just going to Belles with you. Because Belles isn't just Belles. It's us, it's our relationship, it's how we found each other. It's where it all started, and going back there today is literally the only way I could imagine spending today."_

_"I know Belles is all of those things. Today was about us and I love us, but, I love you more and I just wanted to do something just for you, to show you that. I would have done this for you regardless of our anniversary, so just accept whatever is behind this door."_

How am I even supposed to respond to that? I know any verbal answer is out of the question and I can't just shrug it off like I don't care or I'm not happy. Because to be honest it melts my heart that Reagan wanted to do something special for me. So I just stand there and nod my head. And As Reagan grabs my hand and tells me to close my eyes, I find myself to be a little nervous. I'm racking my brain trying to figure out what's behind the door and what's going to happen once we're both on the other side. I feel Reagan's hand let go of mine as I hear the door close behind me.

_"Okay. Open your eyes."_

When my eyes finally flutter open, I find Reagan standing in front of me in a sea of white balloons.

_"You got me balloons?"_

_"No. Well sort of. I wanted to do something special, to show you how much I love you. So, I got you one hundred white balloons they-."_

_"I can see that."_

_"Just let me finish, please."_

_"Sorry."_

_"They aren't normal balloons. Each one has one reason why I love you inside of it. You have to pop them all to see why you make me fall in love with you every day."_

_"There's a hundred reasons why you love me?"_

_"There's more. I just figured it would be nice to actually get in my apartment. I didn't want to suffocate you with all the balloons, so I just picked my favorite reasons."_

I can't believe she did this for me. I'm literally speechless. This is so thoughtful and romantic.

_"Will you help me pop them?"_

_"One condition. You have to let me take you to one of the places I wanted to show you today."_

_"If you get one condition, I get one too."_

_"That's fair. So what's your condition?"_

_"You have to pop the balloons and read the notes to me. For every reason you give me I'll give one back."_

I watch her as she raises her eyebrow and smirks at me. Like she's contemplating whether to agree or not, but, her eyes give away that she's already made her decision.

_"Hmmm. I think I may take back my condition. I like the idea of yours much better. You have yourself a deal Raudenfeld."_

I watch as she bends down and picks up a balloon down by her feet. She stares at it for a while before standing and extending her hand to me. I take it and let her pull me towards the balloons. She drops my hand when we reach the middle of the room and takes a seat on the floor. I follow suit and find myself surrounded by the white floating love notes. While holding the balloon with one hand she brings the other up to her hair pulling out a bobby-pin. The next thing I know, a loud pop echoes through the apartment and my attention is immediately brought back to Reagan, just in time to see her unravel the small piece of paper between her fingers.

_"I love that you are incredibly sarcastic."_

_"I love that you're passionate about music."_

I watch as see reaches her arm out and grabs another balloon; her eyes never leaving mine. Popping it with the bobby-pin once more. She finds the small piece of parchment and begins to read.

_"I love that you'll stay up all night talking to me just so I can hear your voice before I fall asleep."_

_"I love your intelligence, because you were smart enough to fall in love with me."_

_"And there's that sarcasm I love so much."_

_"You're right. That one doesn't count. I love the way you hold me like you never want to let me go."_

As the words leave my mouth I hand her a balloon that somehow floated between the small gap separating us. At this point I'm not even phased by the popping noise. All my attention is on Reagan and her words.

_"I love how we can talk without even saying a word."_

_"I love how you keep me warm when I'm cold."_

I watch as the white slowly disappears until one balloon is left. This one is different though. Reagan taped it to the table.

_"Why did you tape that one to the table?"_

_"I wanted to make sure I read it last."_

_"Why?"_

She pauses for a moment before glancing at the last piece of paper.

_"Because, I love that you keep little mementos of everything that is 'us'- "_

No sooner do the words leave her lips, do I find all the pieces of handwritten stained paper in my hands. Reagan's right, I do keep everything and these little strips of paper are no different. I can already see myself pulling them out of the box ( the same one I have everything she gave me from Belles) and reading them just to remind myself how much this girl loves me.

_"-And these little pieces of paper are no different. I want you to always know and remember that there's at least one hundred reasons why I love you, and that list is never going to stop growing because I promise to add to the list anytime I think you need a reminder."_

I don't even waste another second and lean forward connecting our lips. The kiss is filled with so much passion and love. It's as if all her words are the driving force behind it. And I find myself not wanting to separate, but, to my disappointment Reagan pulls away and rests her forehead on mine. I can hear heavy breathing as we we breathe in each other's air and all I can think about in this moment is how in love I am with this girl.

_"I love you, Rea."_

_"I love you too."_

I give her one last peck on the lips before taking her hand and leading her down the hall to her bedroom. If she can give me all those notes to remember today, I can give her something to remember today too.

* * *

**Well there you go! Let me know what you think! The next update should be coming sometime next week!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Amy POV**

Things have been pretty solid with me and Reagan. We've been together a little over one year. One wonderful year. Sure we've had our ups and downs but I am happy with where we are. We are in a good place or at least I thought we were until Reagan told me that we needed to talk last night. I hate those words 'we need to talk' they've done so much damage to my life already I'm not looking forward to what comes out of them today. I have no idea what she wants to talk about. Then again maybe I do. It's probably about Karma again. It's always about Karma. I don't understand what she doesn't get about our friendship or what she sees that makes her feel insecure and angry when I'm with Karma. You would think after a year my best friend and girlfriend would get along or at least pretend to. I take that back Karma tries. She really does. But Reagan, Reagan completely shuts her out. I'm taken out of my thoughts when my phone begins to buzz and a familiar face appears on the screen.

_"Hey Karma."_

_"Hey! Are you okay? You sound like something's wrong."_

_"How do you do that?"_

_"Do what?"_

_"Know me so well that you can tell something is wrong just by my voice."_

_"Amy I've been your best friend for over a decade. I know everything about you. So what's up? It's Reagan isn't it?"_

There it is. One of the many reasons I love Karma. She knows me so well. She gets every aspect of me. She's the only one who really gets me. Not even my mom or Reagan know me like she does. Karma can read me like an open book. Everybody else has to pry and play twenty questions with me.

_"Reagan told me we needed to talk last night."_

_"Do you think she's going to break up with you?"_

_"I have no idea. I thought everything was going great with us but how she said 'we need to talk' made me think otherwise. It wasn't a happy 'we need to talk' it was a more somber 'we need to talk'."_

_"I wish I knew what to say. I wish I could tell you what she wants to talk to you about, but I can't, and it hurts me that I can't help you deal with this."_

_"It's okay. I wasn't expecting you to know. I just wanted someone to talk to."_

_"When are you going to talk to her?"_

_"She wants me to be at her place in like an hour."_

_"Do you want me to drive you there?"_

_"No. That's okay I'll walk. I'll call you after I talk to her."_

_"Okay. I'll be waiting."_

After hanging up with Karma I decide to send Reagan a quick text.

_"Hey I'm on my way over."_

I really don't want to be on my way over but I know I have to eventually face Reagan. So why not just rip the band-aid off. Why prolong something you know is coming. She responds almost instantly and brings me out of my thoughts.

_"Ok. The door is unlocked just come in."_

I'm nervous now. Her door is always locked. Even when she knows I'm coming over she keeps it locked. So I know something is definitely going on.

As I make my way to her apartment I can't help but wonder what went wrong. How could I have possibly screwed this up? As I move down the endless sidewalk I realize walking was probably the worst decision I could have made. Why prolong something longer than necessary? I could have taken the bus, been there for however many odd minutes and the inevitable could have already happened. But I had to be stupid and make myself suffer the extra thirty odd minutes.

Approaching her apartment door I question even knocking. I know the door is unlocked but knocking postpones things. I mean I can turn around right now and just call Reagan later. No knocking or entering this door equals us still being together. But I know that's just childish thinking and me not knocking or not swinging the door open is going to change anything. If anything it just puts it off and it will make me go more insane. It takes everything in me to muster enough courage or whatever else you want to call it to bring my hand to the knob and twist. As the door clicks and I slowly push it open I can see Reagan already nestled on her couch in her pajamas. I let the door close behind me quietly not wanting to disturb Reagan from her staring contest with whatever inanimate object her eyes are fixated on. I make my way over to the couch and I don't even get halfway before Reagan notices me.

_"Hey. I didn't even hear you come in."_

_"You looked so comfy. I didn't want to disturb you."_

_"Well you're here now so consider me disturbed!"_

I can sense the sarcasm in her voice but considering the situation I don't know how to take her response. And I know she senses it.

_"I'm sorry. That came off wrong. I meant it as, 'you can bother, pester, distract and disrupt me anytime'. Not 'I was comfy why did you bother me'. I like when you distract me."_

I don't know how to respond, so, I just give a small smile back and make my way to where she's sitting.

_"I'm glad you came."_

_"You said you needed to talk."_

_"I did. But first I have to show you something."_

I look up at her in confusement as she takes my hand and leads me to her bedroom. When I get in the room I notice a few boxes scattered around the floor and a couple stacked in the corner. I can tell things are obviously missing and can only assume they're in the boxes. Reagan seems unfazed by the cardboard though and continues to pull me towards her dresser. I watch as she lets my hand fall back to my side and moves her hands up to open a drawer only to reveal that it's empty. I can feel the tears forming in my eyes as I look down at the emptiness. It all clicks. The empty drawer, the boxes, the missing pieces of her room. I avert my eyes back to Reagan and I know it's time for the inevitable.

_"You're moving?"_

_"No. But you are. Or at least I hope you are, or will."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Amy, we've been together a year now and everything seems to be going on track for us. It just feels like it's the perfect time-"_

_"The perfect time for what?"_

_"The perfect time for you to move in with me. I mean you already spend most of your time here. Minus school, the occasional visit to your house and the Friday nights with Karma, you're always here. You're always here with me. So why not move in with me? I already talked to your mom and she's completely on board. Well not completely, but, she said the decision is completely up to you. So what do you say? Will you move in with me?"_

_"I- I- I don't know what to say."_

_"Say yes."_

_"This is a big step. Im not going to lie, I've thought about living together I really have but I always just pushed the idea away."_

_"Why?"_

_"I never thought you would ask."_

It's true I did think she wouldn't ask. I mean I get that we've been together a year but I never thought she would want to live with me while I'm still in high school.

_"Well, I asked. And I would really love an answer."_

_"I only get one drawer?"_

The next thing I know, a laugh is filling the room and a smiling Reagan is looking back at me.

_"It depends. Is that a yes?"_

I can't even form words at this point as the tears escape my eyes. I just stand there smiling and nodding my head. I can feel her thumbs on my cheeks wiping away the tears and I can't help but to give into her touch and pull her into a kiss. I smile into the kiss and feel Reagan pull away slightly. Her lips are barely hovering over mine and all I want to do is pull her back in.

_"I'm taking that as a 'yes'."_

I give her one more kiss before reluctantly pulling away and resting my forehead against hers.

_" It's definitely a 'yes'"_

Everything in this moment just feels right. I could never have imagined this happening but I'm glad it did. I can't believe I'm moving in. I'm going to move in with my girlfriend. Im going to live with Reagan and I honestly could not be happier.

* * *

**A little shorter than usual but I hope you like it. Let me know what you think!**


	27. Chapter 27

**Amy POV**

What did I just do? I can't live with my girlfriend. I'm seventeen and I'm still in high school. I'm insane for saying "yes", actually, I take that back my mom is insane for even allowing this to happen.

_"Mom! Mom! Where are you? I need to talk to you."_

_"I'm right here dear. What's a matter?"_

_"Are you high? On what planet did you think it would be okay to let your teenage daughter move in with her girlfriend?"_

_"So, I take it she asked you then?"_

_"Of course she asked me! You gave her your blessing!"_

_"Of course. I like Reagan."_

_"So, you liking her qualifies for a good reason to let your teenage daughter move in with her."_

_"No. I just thought, that it was what you wanted."_

_"You clearly don't know what I want."_

_"You could have told her 'No'."_

_"And you could have asked me before telling her 'Yes'."_

_"Just tell her I changed my mind."_

_"I can't do that. You should have seen her face. She was so excited. I can't take that away from her. I just don't know what to do."_

_"Talk to her. You'll figure something out. You always can try it out and see how it goes. Nothing is set in stone. You still have your room here."_

_"Ahhhh. Why can't you be like all the other moms and just not let their teenage daughter live with their girlfriend?"_

I guess I'm going to live with my girlfriend. I mean if I plan on being with her, I'll eventually have to live with her, right? So, why not now? It can't be as horrible of an idea as I think it is, right? I mean my mom thought it was an idea, not necessarily a good idea but an idea non the less. Reagan thought or thinks it's one of the best ideas she's ever had. Either I'm the only sane one, or moving in is actually a good idea.

* * *

Living with Reagan definitely has its fair share of ups and downs. The benefits are great. I mean I get to fall asleep with her every night and wake up with her every morning. I get to learn about all her cute quirks and idiosyncrasies that I would have never known about if I didn't move in. I get to spend more time with her.

At the same time though it's hard figuring out how to mash our routines and habits. There's no more personal space. I mean we share everything. Don't get me wrong I like sharing things with Reagan, but, at the same time I don't want to forget what is hers and what is mine. I need boundaries. I want there to be some form of mystery. And right now, the boundaries don't exist and the mystery is dead. And while it's great learning her quirks, some of them drive me nuts and I can't escape them. And I need a break sometimes. I feel like I can't really point out everything that annoys me because I'm sure I do things that annoy her. It's just hard finding my place in a place that is hers.

The thing that's been the hardest though has been the fact Karma doesn't come over. She doesn't feel comfortable being at Reagan's and I don't blame her. I don't even feel comfortable being with her at Reagan's. I feel like we can't act like we normally do. We can't be us. And it's hard. And it hurts. The same goes for her friends though. I mean we don't really have mutual friends. So it's awkward when we have someone over. We don't know if we should intrude or be some weird recluse girlfriend and hide in the bedroom. It's like we're stuck in some weird limbo.

I guess it just takes time. I can't expect to have moved in and have everything be perfect. We just have to find what works best for us. I just would have thought it would have happened by now. I mean you would think after three months we would have found a middle ground. But we haven't and it makes me wonder if we ever will and if I made a mistake moving in.

**Reagan POV**

Living with Amy has been... fine. Not amazing or horrible, it's just fine. It's not what I thought it would be. It was great the first week or so, but, now I feel like I'm walking on eggshells. I like having her here and being here with her, but I feel like she doesn't feel the same way. She seems more distant and it scares me. I want to be able to share everything with her, but it seems like she would rather keep everything to herself. I know I have to talk to Amy. I just don't want her to think that this was a bad idea. I want her to live with me. I want her to be the first thing I see when I wake up and the last thing I see before I go to bed. I don't want it to be just me anymore. I just have to figure out if Amy wants the same thing. I guess I'll find out soon enough though. She'll be walking through that door any minute now and when she does I'll be waiting like always. I just hope she won't keep me waiting. I need to get this out in the open before it destroys us.

A few minutes pass before I hear the door crash open and watch Amy stumble in.

_"Oh my god! Are you drunk?"_

_"No. I just may have had one drink too many."_

_"What happened to going to Karma's?"_

_"I decided to change the plans and have some fun instead."_

_"Where is Karma?"_

_"I don't know. Probably at home watching Netflix."_

_"You went out by yourself? How could you be so stupid!"_

_"Don't yell at me! I just needed to get away from everything. I need space and I'm sure as hell not getting it here!"_

_"You know what? You need to sit down and sleep off whatever the hell this is! I'm not dealing with you while you're like this. Call me when you sober up!"_

I can't believe she went out drinking by herself. Let alone drank at all. All I know is she better get her shit together by the time I get back.

A couple hours go by before I head back home. I can only hope some of the alcohol has left her system so we can have the chance to talk. When I open the door the apartment is dark and all I can make out is a dark figure sitting on the couch. When the lights flickered on after hitting the switch all I could focus on was Amy. She was just sitting there with her head hanging between her hands. I make my way over to her being careful not to overstep my boundaries considering she asked for space.

_"Hey. What are you doing sitting here in the dark?"_

My words didn't even seem to faze her. She just continued to sit there without so much as a word. I scoot myself closer, narrowing the space between us.

_"I brought you back some Tylenol. I figured you might have a headache."_

Once again nothing. So I just sat the brown paper bag on the table in front of her and sat there waiting for her to acknowledge my existence.

_"Why are you being so nice to me after I yelled at you?"_

Her question caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting that.

_"I yelled back."_

_"Yeah but I started it. I came here drunk. You had every right to yell."_

_"Why did you come home drunk? Why did you even drink at all? How did you even get alcohol in the first place?"_

_"I thought if I drank I wouldn't have to deal with reality or at least it would postpone things."_

_"What things?"_

_"Us. This apartment. Me living here."_

I guess I'm not the only one who wanted to talk about our living situation.

_"What about you living here?"_

_"I don't know. Everything. Are you honestly happy that I'm living here."_

_"Of course I am. Granted it's not what I thought it was going to be, but I'm glad you're here. Are you not happy here?"_

_"That's the thing. I don't know. I love certain aspects of it, but other aspects I'm not sure about."_

_"Oh."_

I know living together definitely hasn't been ideal I just didn't think Amy was having this hard of time with everything.

_"No. It's not like that. I promise. I love being here with you, I do. I just think it's taken away from our relationship a little."_

_"How so?"_

_"I don't know how to explain it."_

_"Try."_

_"It's hard sharing everything. I never had to share a room or anything like that. The closest I got was sharing a bathroom with Lauren. But this is on a whole different level. I'm not use to it. I'm use to having a space that's mine. A space where I can be alone and escape to."_

_"And you feel like you don't have that here?"_

_"Yeah. Sometimes I just want to keep things private and that's hard to do here. I want to have some form of mystery in our relationship and since we've been living together that mystery sorta died. I liked learning knew things about you everyday. And after living here for three months I feel like I have nothing else to learn."_

_"Amy. Even though we live together, there's still things you don't know about me. You have a lot to learn and discover. I promise. But if you think having a little more privacy from one another will help slow down the process of learning everything about each other I'm willing to find a way to do that for you."_

_"You would do that for me?"_

_"Of course I would. I would do anything for you. I just wish you would have talked about this sooner with me."_

_"I'm sorry. I just didn't know what to do. I didn't want you to think that this was a mistake."_

_"It's definitely not a mistake."_

As the words leave my mouth I pull Amy into my side and let her rest her head in the crook of my neck. She seems so broken and all I want to do is fix whatever is bothering her. After sitting in silence for what seems like hours, but in actuality is probably minutes, I lean back on the couch bringing Amy with me. Laying there with Amy resting her head on my chest and her arms wrapped around me, I know everything will be okay. As I begin to close my eyes I feel Amy's head move and her hold getting a little tighter. Then the question leaves her mouth. I knew it would come, I just thought it would come a different day because if I'm being honest I don't know how to answer.

_"So what do we do now?"_

* * *

It's been a week since our little episode, (And yes I'm calling it an episode mostly because I refuse to think of it as a fight) and we've made some necessary changes. I gave up my office (or at least half of it) so Amy can have her own space as well. I know that goes back to the whole sharing everything issue, but, we promised each other, if one of us is in there it's off limits to the other. And it seems to be working which I'm grateful for. I want this place to be as much as Amy's as it is mine. So I'm willing to sacrifice for her. I just hope that a day will come when she doesn't want the space anymore. A day that she wants to share everything with no reservations. A day that she actually refers to this place as her home.


	28. Chapter 28

**Reagan POV**

It's coming to the end of Amy's senior year of high school and we still haven't talked about the elephant in the room. Every time I try to bring up the conversation she puts it off. I just want her to talk to me. I don't need an answer I just want to know where her head is at. High school is ending and this new chapter in her life is opening up. She has this whole life waiting for her after she graduates but she refuses to acknowledge it. I've been there. I get it but I have no idea even where she plans on going to college. I'm lucky she even told me about her graduation ceremony at this point. I mean you would think after being with someone almost two years they would feel comfortable enough to talk to you. I guess I'm wrong though. If I've learned anything after living together for almost a year is Amy's ability to hold things in is award worthy. But you never know. She could surprise me.

I'm taken out of my thoughts when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket.

_"Do you have any plans tonight?"_

_"No. What's up?"_

_"I just want to make sure you'll be home."_

_"Yeah. I'm at the apartment now actually. I took the day off."_

_"Awesome. I got out of school early so I'm on my way home."_

Home. It's weird to think just a few months ago she refused to acknowledge that the apartment is _"our"_ place and not just _"my"_ place. It took awhile and a lot of work, but, the visits and overnight stays at her moms house are few and far between now and it's even less when it comes to spending the night at Karmas. It's actually the opposite with Karma. She spends the night here more than I care to admit. It's weird actually, if you would have asked me a year ago if I would let Karma Ashcroft spend the night in my apartment the answer would have been a big fat _"Hell No!". B_ut it's not my apartment anymore and deep down I know a big reason why the number of nights Amy doesn't stay here anymore has shrunk is because one of the reasons she leaves has been spending the better part of the week on my living room floor. And thats one battle I'm not prepared to deal with yet.

_"I thought you had to stay after school today?"_

_"I did. But something came up and I just want to come home."_

_"Should I be worried?"_

What could have possibly come up? All I heard for the past week was that she had to stay after school today to work on some project. My mind is going insane trying to figure out what possibly could have happened and the fact that she hasn't responded to my last text isn't helping the situation.

Twenty minutes go by before I hear the door open and see her walking through it.

_"Hey."_

_"Hey. So, we need to talk."_

_"Okay... Is this a sit down over a cup of coffee talk or you better get in your pajamas and get comfortable we're going to be here a while kind of talk?"_

_"The second one?"_

_"Okay. I'll go get changed."_

What could she possibly want to talk about. We haven't had a 'you better get in your pajamas and get comfortable kind of talk' since I asked her to move in with me. As I enter back into the living room I can already see she took over her favorite spot on the couch and I let out a long sigh as I make my way over to her.

_"Alright spill. What's wrong?"_

_"What makes you think something is wrong?"_

_"Amy. Come on. You've only been talking about this project for a week and you left school early. Plus we never have a talk like this unless it's serious, or something big is weighing on our minds."_

I watch as she takes a deep breath and closes her eyes. Like she's recollecting her thoughts or trying to find the perfect way to approach the conversation. When her eyes finally open and lock on mine I know I'm done for.

**Amy POV**

I know I have to tell Reagan. I just don't know how she's going to respond. I've put a lot of thought into this decision and I really need her to just be okay with it.

_"Okay. So I've thought about this for months and I wanted to get everything figured out before I said anything or before I made a decision."_

_"A decision about what?"_

_"College."_

_"Oh."_

_"I know I've been putting if off and ignoring all your attempts about talking about it. I just didn't want to talk about it until I had an answer."_

_"And you have one now?"_

_"Over the past few months I've gotten quite a few acceptance letters to colleges I've dreamt about going to since I was a little girl. I would get excited opening the envelope and reading the words 'you've been accepted' and I found myself thinking about how great it would be, you know, the classes I would take, the whole dorm thing, the perfect college experience. But as each one came in the mail I found myself a little disappointed like something just wasn't fitting. Until today. My mom texted me at school saying that this came in the mail."_

**Reagan POV**

I watch as she reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out an envelope. It looks worn; weathered. Like it's seen better days. It's wrinkled, a little bent around the corners but the edges are still sharp. Looking at her it's like the envelope is more than just an envelope. It's like the whole world is in her hands. Her world. I watch as her thumbs run over the unreadable words on the front and she takes a deep breath and extends her hand to me, giving me the envelope. I take it from hers hand and drop my eyes to the words her thumbs were hovering over just a few seconds ago. 'UT Austin' is all I could read before Amy pulled me back to her.

_"I wanted to open it with you. I wanted you to be here when I found out."_

_"Why? You opened the others without me."_

_"The others weren't important. This one, the one in your hands is the only one that is important. It took me about two envelopes to realize why I was getting so disappointed. It wasn't the school or the classes. It was the distance and realizing you wouldn't be there every day. You were the reason I couldn't even consider any other college beside the one whose decision is resting between your fingers. I can't go to a college thousands of miles away and leave you here. It's not an option at this point. The only option is you."_

_"Amy-"_

_"Don't. I know what you're going to say. I know you're going to say that you can't be the deciding factor for what college I go to. But you can save it. You are the deciding factor. You're the only factor. I'm not settling. UT Austin is a great school and they have a Film program and a Psychology program. So I'm going to get a great education. Reagan, I've thought about this for a long time. I've made my decision. The only thing I'm waiting on is for you to open that envelope."_

I look back down at the envelope and at that moment I realize why Amy had that look on her face. This isn't just about where she'll go to college. It's about us. This little, white envelope is going to tell us what lies in store for our relationship. And I hate to admit it, but I'm a little nervous to open it.

_"What if-"_

_"No what ifs. Just open the envelope."_

I flip the envelope over and tear it open along the flap. This is it. This is the moment that's going to determine everything. As I pull out the tightly sealed paper I can't help but wonder, what if she doesn't get in? Where would that leave us? Could we do the long distance thing? And unfolding that piece of paper only made it worse.

_"Well?"_

This is it. The moment everything is going to change.

_"You got in."_


End file.
